I do as I’m told and walk the way he wants me to. I feel stupid acting as if I’m wearing an invisible pair of high heels. When I get closer to Master Kade, his eyes rake me from head to toe and he drags his index finger slowly across his full, bottom lip, pondering something.
“The pants,” he says, his voice low and smooth. “They bother me. Take them off.”
I pause, my nervousness spiking. “Then I’ll be naked.”
Kade gives me a look, a look so cold I immediately pull at the strings and hook my fingers around the band of the pants. I drag the fabric down my legs and step out of them.
“Now try it again.”
I turn around and pace four steps away from Kade, then I turn back to him. He keeps his eyes on my legs and my feet as I walk—just like he wanted me to. His eyes thin as he slowly drags his tongue over his lip. “Good.”
My legs brush against his knees and my chest rises and falls quicker than I anticipated. It feels heavy, like my breasts are weighing me down all of a sudden.
Kade lifts his stare to mine. “When you touch me, it should be soft and smooth. Your movements must be calculated. In a single caress, you should know exactly where I like to be touched.”
I swallow hard and my beating heart begins to sound in my ears. I reach out for him, slowly, and his lips twitch as I draw closer to his stomach. As my finger grazes his jacket, his arm shoots out and his fingers clamp around my nipple.
“Ah!” I wince, pressing myself against his hand to get away from the burning pressure.
“If you’re going to touch me there your next move better be to unzip my pants.” He releases me and I gasp. It hurts more as blood rushes to the tip and I reach up to caress my nipple, but Kade smacks my hand away.
“Fuck!” I hiss and Kade’s eyes flare.
“Start high and then go low. You should touch my shoulders, my chest and my arms first, not my stomach.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Of course you can. It’s not hard.” He unbuttons his jacket, shrugs out of it and tosses it to the side. “You have to convince me that you have what I want, not assume.”
He takes my hands in his and presses them to his chest. “Here is a good start. Keep your palms slightly off, using only the tips of your fingers. Drag them lightly, up and over my shoulders.”
Under the tips of my fingers, Kade’s body is warm… and hard. I drop my gaze from his and focus on the way I move my hands—carefully keeping my palms off of him. Though I don’t look at him, I can feel him watching my face. It makes my hands shake and I survey the way my fingers tremble against the white cloth of his shirt. My heart pounds in an uneven, but spellbinding rhythm and in the tips of my fingers, I feel the faint pulse of his heart, too. This is just an exercise. I don’t understand why this is affecting me more than it’s affecting him. He’s probably used to being touched, unlike me. I’m not used to touching, either. I trail my fingers up over his strong shoulders and move along them, feeling all of the rises and dips. His shoulders are much too large for my hands to cover adequately, as is the rest of his body.
“Eye contact is important,” Kade states.
I drag in an inhale, hoping to pick up some courage, too. I don’t. If anything, the inhale makes me feel light-headed. Finally, I lift my gaze to his and the second our irises meet, he locks me in place. There’s no emotion on his face, only pure intensity. I don’t know how else to describe it. Whatever it is… it sends butterflies swirling around my belly and I hope it’s the food that’s making me feel funny and not developing feelings. To feel something other than loyalty to Kade would crush me. There’s no way I’d survive being in love with him and he’s making it hard for me to decipher what I’m feeling. I’m a little uncomfortable, having never been in this situation before, but I’m not scared. I’ve spent my whole life preparing for moments like this. I’m aroused, I can feel it rushing through my veins and pooling in the only area true pleasure can be drawn from, but I’m also disgusted. Not with Kade, no, but with myself. The fact that in this moment I want to push Kade down and force my mouth on his disgusts me. The fact that I want him to lick me from head to toe without a breath disgusts me, and the fact that I think I would let him have sex with me at the drop of a hat disgusts me beyond anything I’ve ever felt. I’m not the same person I was when I first arrived here. I’m not the same girl that only wanted to feel the soft grass between her toes… now I want to feel different things. Harder things.
I’m startled back to reality when I feel his hands on my bare hips. Heat seeps into my cheeks at the touch of his skin. His hands are hot and they ignite my skin as they slide around to the small of my back. His warm breath collides against mine as he brings his mouth closer.