The Unfortunates(103)
He caught me. This is as far as I’m going to get… I drop to my knees and they sink into the mud as Kade removes his gun from my head and circles around to face me. Immediately, my face soaks with pleading tears and I don’t care if he sees. “Don’t make me go back, please. Let me go.”
He doesn’t move, only watches me with his unsympathetic expression and the gun pointed right at my face. His firearm doesn’t scare me. Part of me knows he won’t pull the trigger, but the other part wants him to. In my head, I keep seeing Thirteen’s face when she realised I was in love with my Fortunate. Am I that far gone? Is it him? Has he brainwashed me into thinking everything was okay? That I wanted to be there? I’ve betrayed Kade, but what’s worse is I’ve betrayed my own people.
“I gave you everything. I treated you well.” His hurt radiates through me, colder than any winter wind.
“You’ve treated me better than any other Fortunate would have, but don’t be so stupid!” I swipe my arm across my face, collecting tears. “I’m not equal to you. When you’re finished with me, I’m dead and you get someone else. I want to die on my own terms. Not yours, not anybody’s.”
He crouches in front of me and I fight the urge to flinch backwards.
“Please,” I beg him again and again, but he only grows frustrated.
“I can’t let you go, Nine. You’re mine.”
My heart swells in my chest before it squeezes and threatens to explode. “I don’t want to be yours! I’m not an animal. I’m not an object. I’m human, Kaden, I need to protect myself.”
“Protect yourself from what? What have I done that makes you see me so badly?” He pushes forward on his knees, not caring that his crisp black slacks are in the mud. “What have I done to make you want to leave?”
I have many answers to that question, but the only one that matters is the one that has sat at the back of my mind since I realised it. “You will never and can never love me like—” I drop my head, pressing my muddy hands to my face to stop a sob.
“Like what?” he whispers and I almost miss it. He grabs my face and the warm handle of his gun presses against my cheek. “Like what, Nine?”
I swallow and blink away more tears. “Like I love you.” His brows furrow. “You’ll never love me like I love you.”
I hold my breath while Kade stares at me. I can’t make out his expression, even under the beautiful glow of the moon, and it puts me on edge. He releases my face and I brace myself for punishment, or worse, silence. Kade clears his throat and the sound seems so innocent and shy. “I’m not capable of many things when it comes to romance, but I am capable of keeping my word.” He reaches for my face again and cups it in his hands. “I said I’d keep you and I will. I said I’d protect you and I will. You’ll be by my side until the day I die, but I can’t love you, Nine.”
I let my stare fall to the ground. Just like I expected, he can’t love me. How long until he decides he doesn’t want me anymore because I’m making things hard? I’m an Unfortunate, but I’m also a human being. I love and I need to be loved in return. I pull back and take his wrist in my hand. Manoeuvring his arm, I force him to press his gun against my forehead. When I left the manor tonight, I knew I was going to make it to the mine or I was going to die trying. Kade won’t let me leave and he’s out of his mind if he thinks I’m going back to that house. I won’t. I can’t tolerate another moment of him defending me. He lies to his own people to protect me and yet he says he doesn’t love me—or he can’t love me—like that makes it any better. I notice the tremble in his hand and the pained curve in his brows.
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m going to shoot you. You witnessed a traumatising thing today, that’s all this is.”
That’s not what this is. I know it’s not.
“Please,” I beg, my voice almost a whisper. “It’ll save us both a lot of trouble. People are going to ask questions. People are going to notice and I can’t live like this anymore.”
I never thought I’d beg someone to shoot me. Then again, I never expected to fall in love or to be so disobedient. I’m a horrible Unfortunate.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
I jump as Kade forces himself to his feet. I squint into the darkness, searching for a face to match the voice and I see a man step out from behind a tree, his guise seemingly smug as he saunters closer. When he steps into the clearing, the light of the moon exposes his features. Vince. “Going somewhere, Unfortunate?”