Oh, how bitter it is to realise something you thought was so selfless turns out to be so selfish. This isn’t about Thirteen at all. This is about my fear—the fear of being hurt and rejected. The fear of being every bit the Unfortunate I was born to be. So much for that higher purpose.
Tonight is the perfect night to run. Sure, there are Moderators all over the place, more than usual, but they won’t expect an Unfortunate to escape. It’d be too dangerous. No one in their right mind would ever attempt it… but I need to. I need to get away.
∞
I peer around the corner of the door. My nerves are frazzled by what I’m about to attempt. I can barely hear anything, only my heart as it beats wildly in my chest. When the hallway is clear, I run for it. My plan is to get to my room and go from there. I dash down the stairs, keeping my eyes down so I don’t draw unwanted attention. If I head for my room first, if I’m stopped I can tell them with absolute confidence where I’m going.
I make it to my room with no hassles. The halls on this level of the manor are busy as Unfortunates prepare for something, I don’t know what, but an unnecessary dinner won’t be off the cards.
“Here,” an Unfortunate calls to me as I pass her in the hallway. “Take these outside and sit them in the centre of the tables. Her long, orange curls fall in her face as she shoves a large box of centrepieces in my arms.
“No, but—I—”
She swivels on her heel and sashays away without a glance over her shoulder. God, can’t she see that I’m attempting a very dangerous, very serious escape right now? Then it hits me… this is good. This gives me an excuse to be outside.
I hurry out the back door with the box in my hands. Unfortunates drape cloths over bare tables and place beautiful, white plates. Swiftly, I move from table to table placing ugly, white centrepieces. Usually, the centrepiece is an animal of some kind or a gorgeous candelabrum. Tonight, the centrepiece is a graphic sculpture of a human being slicing another’s throat. The implication of obvious dominance is clear. Don’t fuck with Fortunates.
As I make my way to the back row of tables, I peer over my shoulder. I’m a hundred metres out from the forest line and most moderators are drunk and inside. Suddenly, I feel stupid for donning a white tunic. I’m going to stand out like a diamond necklace on an Unfortunate.
No one will notice. There’s too much going on. I sit the box on the grass and use my foot to push it under the table. Blood rushes through my veins and my heart can’t keep up. I inhale and exhale, clench and unclench my fists. It’s now or never. I peer around one last time before I turn and I run. I run hard, pumping my legs as quickly as I physically can, desperate to make it to the tree line and out of plain sight. The tree line closes in on me. It’s so close, yet so far away. Before I know it, I pass the tree line and stop once I’m concealed by its dense shrubbery. My legs ache and my thigh muscles are hard. I’m breathing like I’ve never run a day in my life and my chest hurts like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I peer at Kade’s manor, but everything remains the same. No one knows I’m gone. Good.
I walk through the bush, eager to locate the lake. On second thought, I hope I ran in the right direction. I don’t remember all of the trees when Kade brought me here. Dry leaves crunch under my feet as I step out the other end of the mini-forest and approach the edge of the lake. I’m here. My freedom is close, so close I can taste it. I step forward until my feet sink into the cool mud on the edge of the water. The water laps at my toes and it’s freezing! Goosebumps spread up my legs and cover my entire body. This is going to suck. I inch even further. It’s not that cold, I tell myself, hoping it’ll become a reality. I lean forward slightly, trying to gauge the depth. It’s too dark to tell. I guess it never occurred to me that I might have to swim across the lake… which, I guess, should have been my number one priority considering I can’t swim. I scan the lake bed, squinting in the darkness for something that floats, and sure enough, five metres away, a thick branch is wedged against a rock. I don’t know how well it’ll work, but at least it floats. I turn and move towards it… that’s when I feel the cold barrel of a gun press against the back of my head. My heart stills, stopping me dead in my tracks. My hunter doesn’t say a word… and that’s how I know it’s Kade. If it isn’t, I’m dead anyway.
“How’d you know?”
He laughs once and it’s a noise that pierces my chest. It’s a simple noise, but one filled with bitterness and disgust. “You think I haven’t been keeping tabs on you all day? Portia may be your friend, but she was my Unfortunate first.”