Back east, they could go to a real school, have friends of their own and not worry each winter if this one would be the one to finally crush their tiny family.
But the idea of returning to the city where a man could barely breathe stuck in Matthias’s craw. And with the railroad scouts looking for cattle and horses, he was so close to making a fine profit.
He looked up at the cloudless sky. “I reckon you think I’m a fool, Elise. You were right when you said we should leave.” He’d taken to talking to Elise when he was out on the range. If anyone were to see him, they’d think him a damn fool, but talking to her had helped keep him sane this last year.
The whisper of the wind in the trees was his only answer.
“I reckon you know by now I hired a woman to look after the boys. She seems good with them and she’s got a kind heart. I’m certain she’ll pick up stakes by the end of the summer. I remember how much you hated it out here.”
He rubbed his forehead. He didn’t dare voice his attraction to Miss Smyth. Speaking it aloud would make it all the more tangible. The more sinful. “She’s only a hired hand,” he said with a little too much emphasis. “I made a pledge to you never to love again.”
It had been a promise he’d made as Elise lay dying. In those dark hours, he’d have bargained with the devil to save her. “And I’m going to keep my word.”
Suddenly tired, he reined his horse around and started back to the cabin. He arrived an hour before sunset, but by the time he’d finished his chores in the barn, the sun had dipped behind the horizon. Orange-red light slashed across the land and the distant mountains. This was his favorite time of day. The fading sun set the land ablaze. The beauty of it always took his breath away. There were no views like this in Missouri.
As soon as his boot hit the front step, he heard the boys yelling, “Pa!” He smiled. As tired as he was, he liked hearing the excitement in their voices.
He reached for the front door just as it jerked open. The boys piled out onto the porch. Each was jumping up and down excitedly at the threshold. He squatted, not remembering the last time he’d seen them this lively.
Tommy swept his arms wide, proudly showcasing the cabin. “Look what we did today.”
Quinn frowned, placing his small hand over Matthias’s eyes. “No! No! First you close your eyes.”
“We played games today!” Tommy said.
Matthias chuckled. “What kind of games?”
“We made laundry piles! And we put away boxes!”
Matthias nodded, marveling at the fact that Miss Smyth had turned chores into an adventure. “Miss Smyth’s games.”
“Yes,” Quinn said. “Now keep your eyes closed and I will lead you inside.”
Matthias complied, rising slowly as each boy took a hold of his hands.
“Don’t peek, Pa,” Tommy said.
“I’m not,” he said. He moved into the main room, half expecting to trip over one of the sacks or boxes he’d hauled in last night. “When are you going to let me see?”
“Now!” Quinn said.
Matthias opened his eyes, his gaze scanning the room. Not only had the bed been made but all the supplies had been put away. Laundry piles—one dark and one light—sat neatly in the corner. The wood floor had been swept clean and the dishes in the sink had been scrubbed and stacked on the shelves.
The smell of freshly baked beans and corn cakes greeted him. He’d not realized how hungry he was until this moment, and his mouth started to water.
A rustle of skirts and the clang of pots had his gaze swinging to the kitchen. There he saw Miss Smyth, still wearing Elise’s blue-checkered apron, only now it was covered with smudges of cornmeal. Since this morning she’d coiled her braid into a tight knot at the base of her neck. To his surprise he preferred her braid loose, swinging seductively above her bottom.
She turned then and their gazes locked. As if reading his thoughts, color rose in her neck and cheeks as she looked at him. “Welcome home.”
For the first time in his life, he felt awkward with a woman. Not a wife or a lover, yet more than just a servant. He cleared his throat. “Looks like you’ve been busy.”
“There’s been a lot to do.” She lowered her gaze back to her pot on the stove. “Supper is ready if you’re hungry.”
“I could eat a bear.”
Quinn frowned. “We don’t have bear, Pa, only beans.”
Matthias laughed. Lord, but it felt good to laugh. “Beans will be just fine.”
“Well, have a seat at the table,” she said. “I’ll make you a plate.”
He noticed then that the kitchen table had been cleaned. Napkins were folded and tucked under the forks and a plate of biscuits set in the center. The table looked inviting. He felt like a traitor for thinking it, but for the first time in a while he was glad to be home.