“I want to be with you more than anything.”
She nodded. They had problems like other couples, but slowly they were making breakthroughs. After so long of keeping their night together quiet, they’d talked about and understood each other. All they needed to do was remember to stay open and they’d get through the worst.
“You’ve got to let me in,” she whispered.
Instantly he froze, like an iceberg had taken the place where he sat.
“Don’t do this, Claire. Don’t spoil our time together.”
Tears sprung to her eyes. How could he say such things? Getting up from her seat on the bed, she began pacing her room. She wasn’t as tall or as strong as Liam or Shane, but her anger matched both men.
Shane, with his words, had cut her and made her angry.
How dare he treat her like that?
The anger rose, and she stood and watched him as he gazed at her. There was no expression on his face, as if a blank canvas was waiting to be painted. She hated it. She hated seeing his reactions. It felt as if Shane was always waiting to judge a person’s mood before he could make his own move.
She wouldn’t stand for it anymore . As kids they used to lash out at each other, playing.
Claire checked his feet to make sure he wasn’t wearing any shoes and then walked up to him. She stared into his eyes and knew she had to stop him from waiting. The blank canvas was a mask to the world. Inside, a part of him was still a little boy, afraid of his dad. Shane pummeled his dad good that night, but it hadn’t stopped the fear from staying.
“This isn’t spoiling our time. There is nothing you can tell me, Shane, that would make me think any less of you. I love you.”
He sat on the bed beside her and took her hands.
“You want to know the truth? My dad abused me and my mom every chance he got. Not sexually, at least not to me. I don’t know what he did to my mom behind closed doors. He’d come home, drunk, and something would be out of place, or Mom had fallen asleep. Something he didn’t agree with. At first he started with his fists. He’d go from her and then turn to me. When he was tired and his fists bleeding, he would remove his belt.”
Claire gasped. Going to her knees, she knelt behind him and cuddled him close.
“She had nowhere to go. So many times she packed our suitcases, and then she’d remember there was no one out there for her. My dad was the only person she had. Most of the time, she locked me in my room to try and keep him away. The punches got worse if he couldn’t find me. I’d sit in bed and hear her screaming, and I didn’t do anything. The only good thing that bastard did was leave.”
Claire listened as he told her more about being locked away. The tight, confined spaces had never been the same after he’d been locked away inside that small shed repeatedly. He described the sound of scurrying rats while he waited to be released from the prison he’d been placed in. She held him close and let him get it off his chest.
After so long of him talking and telling her about what had happened to him as a child he finally broke down and spoke honestly. “I’m a coward, Claire. I’d rather run and hide than face him.”
He held her as he cried for the little boy he’d been. She waited. When the tears subsided, she climbed off the bed and knelt in front of him.
“Look at me,” she said. “You’re not a coward, Shane Cook. You’re a strong man, and no child should have to live through that kind of pain. You weren’t in the wrong. He was, for being a monster.”
“What if I’m like him, Claire? What if I hurt our children or, god forbid, what if I hit you?” He sobbed.
Claire cried for him, for his fears and for everything done to the man she loved.
“Now you look at me. You will never be like that man. Do you hear me? I love you, and Liam loves you. You’re a stronger man than your father will ever be.”
Words weren’t enough. Claire showed him the love she felt.
Chapter Seventeen
Life got back to normal. Shane, Liam, and Claire were happy. The ranch hands saw the transformation in all of them. The happier lifestyle made all three of them work harder for each other. Production increased, and everyone was happy. Claire spent all of her time proving to Shane he was a good man. She trusted him with her body and her life, giving him the strength to fight his demons. Slowly he was changing. Shane fought the chains of the past and began to move forward to embrace a new life.
Liam bossed her around, and she loved it. Being with her men was the greatest part of her life. Every day she knew when the sun set and darkness fell they would be in her bed making love to her.
At night, after they made love, cuddling felt like the most natural thing in the world. The arms of two men kept her safe.