The Ugly Duckling Debutante(48)

“Yes, I know. It seems I’ve done nothing but hide the truth from you and manipulate you, but I do believe your marriage will be a love match—if he lets you in, that is.” So, her aunt also saw how much he guarded himself; she would need to work with him on becoming more vulnerable.



“I want to talk to you about your parents.”



Sara’s stomach clenched at the thought of her parents. Their treatment of her, as if she was an unwelcome stranger in her own home. “What about my parents?”



“You have to understand, my dear. They did the best they could, given the circumstances. I owe them so much more than I’m willing to admit.” Her aunt was beginning to pale as the conversation drew on. “I was so young when it happened. I had no idea the consequences of my choice. I wanted to marry an earl or a viscount. I had no other options.”



“What are you talking about?” Sara whispered, leaning toward her now noticeably frail aunt. She was speaking in riddles.



“I fell in love; I let the duke seduce me with his smooth words. He always joked about wanting to marry, but I took him seriously. When I found out I was with child, he offered to fund a family to adopt the child, so nobody would get wind of the scandal. In my heart I couldn’t do that, so I took the child into the country to be raised by my sister and her husband." Sara's aunt stared at her own trembling hands. She paused, as if struggling with something. When she continued, it was by pure force of will, dredging out the words that were so obviously weighing heavily on her. "It wasn’t until recently, a few short weeks ago, I realized the treatment you were actually receiving. At the time I was so shocked to see your state that I was angry. Angry at myself for not being brave; angry that you were more beautiful than I could have imagined; angry that I missed your entire childhood.”



Sara's mind reeled, What was the woman saying? Lady Fenton shook her head fiercely, “I never meant for you to believe you were ugly. I was the one who was ugly with my words and actions. It was too easy to take my anger out on you. But since you've come to stay with me, as I have watched you handle yourself in all these dreadful circumstances, I have seen that you are everything I never was and more. You are far more beautiful and kind than I could ever dream to be. I—“ She cut off abruptly and lifted a handkerchief to her eye.



Sara couldn’t think; she couldn’t speak. All those years, all those horrible years of enduring unfair treatment from her parents. She thought they despised her and viewed her as useless, ugly, and different. No wonder she looked nothing like her family! She had been living with an aunt and uncle the entire time! She wanted to scream, My entire life has been a lie! But then again, hadn’t she always known? Did she ever really feel connected to her family? No, she was more attuned to the families in books; the ones which didn’t exist. In her heart, she felt nothing for those who raised her. They abused her verbally and treated her like a slave.



“I am so proud of you, Sara. And I do truly believe this match with Lord Renwick will be perfect for you. I am sorry to say the money I left you was taken by your parents, when I signed you over to their care.”



“Why didn’t you come sooner?” Sara asked calmly. Thoughts of how badly she’d been treated made her want to cry at the injustice.



“I’m ashamed to admit I only recently told my husband of your existence. I told myself you were happier without me. When I heard of your sisters’ elopement and your parents’ need for funds, I scolded myself for not checking up on you more consistently. I told myself I would see how you fared and leave money with your parents. Instead I found myself begging your mother to allow you to come back with me for a season. They won't release their hold on you until you are married, my dear. Then you will be your husband’s property, and you will be free of them.”



“I need to think about all of this. I need…time,” Sara said slowly, wondering how she was able to sound so calm when everything inside her, everything she knew about herself, was in utter chaos.



“I understand completely, my dear; I only ask one thing…”



Sara met Lady Fenton's gaze.



“Don’t speak of this to Renwick just yet. He won’t take the news very well.”



Sara laughed bitterly. “I’m certain he’ll take it better than I am. Surely keeping it a secret from him will only cause more grief.”



Her aunt’s eyes glistened with guilt-ridden tears as she fingered the handle of the teacup in her hands. Lifting her head she half-whispered, “He won’t take it well, Sara, because your father was the duke Nicholas killed.”