But when he touched her like this, she simply didn’t care.
His kiss was deep and needy, as if he were trying to consume her. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, meddling with the water coursing over her body in a chorus of stimulation. He touched her hair, her neck, her breasts. Teased the sensitive skin of her waist and massaged her nipples through her bra. Then under her bra. He peeled off her shirt and bra and they fell to the floor of the shower in a sodden lump. Then he was caressing her again. It was as if he was trying to absorb her very essence through his hands. As if he was binding her to him.
Or maybe that was just her, projecting her own emotions onto him. Because she couldn’t stop touching him. Couldn’t keep her hands from exploring all that glorious naked skin. Her fingers trembled with need as she reached for the towel. But stopped herself just in time. Instead, she flattened her palm against his chest and pushed.
“Stop,” she said.
He stilled instantly, pulling back from her. She sank against the wall of the shower, her breath coming in ragged breaths.
This was the problem with their relationship. Physically, they were a perfect match. And if that was enough for her, then…this would be enough for her.
If all she wanted was fantastic sex, then it wouldn’t matter to her that Jonathon had prevaricated about her uncle. If all she wanted was a husband to satisfy her family, then Jonathon would still be the perfect man. But she wanted more than that now. She wanted all of him.
Shaken to her very core, she reached over and turned off the water. She yanked back the curtain and grabbed a towel off the rack. Giving her hair a quick rub, she climbed out of the shower.
She looked over her shoulder and saw that he’d turned his back to her. He stood with his arm braced against the wall, resting his head on his forearm. As if he was struggled for control. Yeah, well, she felt the same.
“Why’d you lie?” she asked.
He looked up, turning around. “What?”
It was an effort for her to keep from looking down, but she managed it. “About my uncle. Why’d you lie about him blackmailing you?”
“I didn’t.” He grabbed a towel as well and scrubbed it down his face.
“I talked to my uncle. I know the truth.”
For an instant, surprise flickered across his face, but he hid it well. “Then you know that he didn’t blackmail me. He made the offer. I refused. That’s not blackmail. That’s attempted black mail.”
She stared at him blankly and after a moment all she could do was let out a bark of laughter. “That is just like you to try to get off on a technicality.”
“You’re mad at me about this?” The confusion in his voice was real. “What good would it do you to know that your uncle is a jackass?”
“I already knew that.” She fished her shirt off the floor of the tub and gave it a vicious twist to wring out the water. “What good does it do you to try to hide it from me?”
“I was just—”
“Trying to protect me?” she finished for him as she pulled the shirt over her head. “Yeah. I get that. But you’ve got to stop doing me favors. Because it’s not helping things at all.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Of course you don’t.” She gave a sharp, bitter laugh. She shook her head. He may be brilliant when it came to money, but when it came to emotions, he was an idiot. “I now know why you’ve been so determined to make this work. I just don’t think you understand it yet.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“You walked away from your family when you were so young and you still haven’t found a way back to them. And you haven’t made peace with that either.”
“What does my family have to do with any of this?”
“You love kids. You’d be a great dad, but you don’t feel worthy of having a family of your own. Not when you walked away from your family. So Peyton and I, we’re consolation prizes. You get to have a family, but you get to lie to yourself and pretend you’re doing it for FMJ or to protect me.”
“You’re wrong.”
“I don’t think I am. You’re just so out of touch with what you really want, that you don’t even recognize what’s going on. Think about it, why did you marry me in the first place?”
“So you could keep custody of Peyton.”
“No, that’s why I married you. Not why you married me. You asked me to marry you, because it was supposed to be best for FMJ. I was going to leave and you were trying to protect the company. But somewhere along the way, you lost track of that. The company is supposed to come first for you.”