“You bastard. I can’t believe you said that.” She stepped back, putting some distance between them. “And you’re wrong about one thing. I won’t be begging to sleep with you again anytime soon. Not now.”
She stormed off, but made it only as far as the office door before turning around. Propping her fists on her hips, she said, “I need to know now. Are you in or out?”
“What?”
“Are you in or are you out? Do you still want to do this, or are you wigging out on me?”
“I’m in,” he said slowly. Undoubtedly deeper in than he should be.
“Are you sure? Because two years is a long time. And I’d rather know now if you’re having second thoughts.”
“I said I’m in.”
“Good. My family wants to meet yours. They’re planning a reception for us. We leave for Palo Verde on Friday.”
She didn’t wait for his reply. It probably wouldn’t have occurred to her that two years without sex wasn’t nearly as off-putting as the idea of going to visit his family. A second later he heard the door to her office slam as she stormed out.
All alone in the office, he sank into his desk chair. Everything that had once been on his desk now lay scattered on the floor as well as the contents of three drawers. Years of keeping his life meticulously under control, of keeping his emotions neatly compartmentalized, and he’d blown it all in one reckless act.
He propped his elbows on his desk and dropped his head into his hands, ignoring the fact that his own cheeks felt suspiciously damp.
Thirteen
She wanted to stab him on her way out. There were several things in the office sharp enough to leave a nice puncture wound without being fatal. She took it as sign of great personal development that she didn’t use any of them.
Then she sat in her car for several long minutes trying to hash out her feelings. Retrace her steps. Figure out where she’d gone wrong. In the end the only conclusion she could reach left her deeply unsatisfied.
Jonathon was right. She was too emotionally involved. She was up-to-her-tonsils-and-sinking-fast emotionally involved. Damn it.
Worse still, she couldn’t follow her first instinct, which was to run like a rabbit and hole up somewhere until she sorted through her emotions. No, with her family here, watching her like a hawk… Or maybe a pride of ravenous lions was a better analogy? Whatever hungry predator they were, she couldn’t bolt. They’d attack at the first sign of weakness. She had to remember what was important. Keeping Peyton.
Then she thought of what she’d seen just yesterday morning. Jonathon sitting in the rocking chair with Peyton cradled in his arms. He may not know it yet, but she wasn’t the only one who was emotionally involved.
He may not care about her—beyond her body, which he was obviously rather fond of—but he did care about Peyton.
Whether or not he wanted to admit it, he was a good father. He was a better father than he was a husband. Well, she could live with that. For the time being, she had to.
The days before the trip to Palo Verde passed quickly. Jonathon insisted she take the time off to visit with her family. Which seemed counterintuitive to her since the whole point of the marriage was to keep her at work. But every time she brought it up, he just stared at her stiffly and reminded her that taking off work to bond with Peyton would go a long way toward convincing them that she would be a good mother. He assured her that they still had plenty of time to work on the contract proposal. He, however, went stalwartly into work alone. He never again mentioned taking time off himself to play the part of the loving husband. Apparently—after they’d had sex at the office—that would have strained even his resolve. She assumed that when he said she should spend time with her family, what he really meant was that she should spend time with anyone other than him.
Truth be told, she let him put her off over and over, because she wanted to avoid the office too. She wasn’t ready to be in the office where he’d made love to her with such abandon. Scratch that. Made love to her body with such abandon. And she damn sure wasn’t ready to see him sitting behind the desk, working as if nothing had ever happened.
So she spent the days playing tour guide to her family. Mema was determined to hate everything about California and Big Hank flew back to Texas for the week, but her parents seemed to actually enjoy the time she spent with them. Even more shocking, she enjoyed it too.
She assumed that would change by the end of the week, when Big Hank, Hank Jr. and Helen would arrive. Helen had insisted on planning the wedding reception Mema had suggested the Morgans host. Without even leaving Texas, Helen had arranged a venue, invited guests and booked lodgings for the Morgans, which was no small feat to accomplish in just a few days’ time. Whenever Wendy offered help, she was firmly rebuffed. Helen had even located and invited Jonathon’s family. Though, apparently, only his older sister, Marie, had returned Helen’s phone calls.