Guilt, shame and sadness rained down on her. He turned away, and Ellie felt the truth in the marrow of her bones—this was the last time they would see each other. Carter helped James get Matilda onto the front porch, and then he slammed the front door shut.
The breeze died abruptly leaving Ellie limp, wet and deserted in the dark foyer. A shudder of isolation shook her to her core. She felt more alone than she ever had in her life.
Chapter 12
The hotel needs you—don’t stand here paralyzed like you just lost everything . Ellie’s fierce pride kicked into gear. Embracing a burst of energy from within, she flew into action.
She ran to the butler’s pantry, grabbed a hammer and box of nails, and went to work. She nailed shut as many cupboards as she could to protect the dishes, china and silverware from shattering. Then she moved on to the shutters on the first floor, slapping them closed and driving a nail over the latch.
The rush of activity and adrenaline charging through her veins lasted about ten minutes. As she reached the Senate Room her gaze fell to gigantic old desk where she and Carter had unfurled the blueprints that led them to their speakeasy discovery. An image flashed in her mind of Carter standing behind her at the desk, palms spread on the crinkled pages, excitement rippling from him.
Ellie hadn’t experienced that depth of connection or companionship since Carter left twelve years ago. He was adventurous, daring, filled with passion over life’s small wonders as equally as he embraced grand moments of possibility. He accepted every tide of opportunity with his arms open wide, ready to take on the world. He challenged her, excited her, drove her crazy on every level. Yet he caught her every time she was about to fall into a tough situation. He consistently anticipated her needs, and pushed her beyond her anxiety and fears, so she’d gain confidence in herself to face whatever the future held.
She’d desperately missed his protectiveness, as much as his adventurous spirit, his sharp mind, and the way he could puzzle out anything with patience and perseverance. He stuck with his ideas and strategies, no matter how far-fetched or unlikely, and embraced every challenge as an opportunity. And always, he was a man of his word. The strength of his character shone in all his accomplishments. He’d achieved all he vowed to obtain, and became a very wealthy man in the process, defying his difficult past to claim a future of unlimited success.
Carter embodied everything a man ought to be—everything her father had once been before he succumbed to the depths of depression and desperation. Then Carter stole her heart a second time when he returned to the island this week. She hadn’t even been looking for love. But, as always, he opened her eyes and her heart to accept the unexpected.
Would she— could she —ever find all that he encompassed in anyone else?
No , her heart told her, pounding hard against her ribs.
And she’d let him go. Let him walk right out of her life again. After he’d given her more than enough chances to take stock of reality, take a second chance on love, and accept all that he had to offer her.
A heavy shroud of remorse, of missed opportunity, smothered her until she couldn’t breathe. Her fingers shook. She dropped the box, and hundreds of nails clattered across the wooden floor. She stared at the hammer in her hand, then out the window at the storm, feeling an overwhelming sense of futility. Like she’d brought a bucket of water to battle a forest fire.
A reckless thought entered her mind.
What if I lost everything?
The last time a hurricane swept up the east coast, the island was without power for weeks. The Montgomery Hotel had required months of repairs for the extensive damage. Would the aging structure withstand a category three or four hurricane?
Doubt dropped into the pit of her stomach like a lead ball.
What would she do if the entire hotel was swept away? What would she have left? Who would be standing by her side when all she’d lived for was gone?
What was the worst that could happen?
If the walls around her disappeared tomorrow, she would still be standing here. The hotel, and the heritage it represented, was only a sentiment.
Ellie could no longer escape the facts.
Carter was right. The hotel couldn’t love her back, couldn’t comfort her during tragedy, couldn’t give her companionship, couldn’t hold her through the night or fulfill her emotional needs.
She finally understood.
The hotel didn’t define her. Only she could define herself.
The hurricane could rip the place to shreds, but if she still had Carter, she knew her life, her future, would go on.
That’s what made life so precious—the people she shared it with. Not the things she possessed. No matter how meaningful. She would always have her memories. But she wouldn’t always have Carter.