Ryan pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back, trying to comfort her the best way he knew how. His gut hurt so much, he didn't know how he wasn't throwing up. He couldn't believe he'd never known what she'd gone through. It was beyond a nightmare and he'd done nothing in the last several months, except to terrify her more. He felt like the lowest human being on the earth.
She must hate him and God help him but he still couldn't set her free. He was certainly going to change a few things but he needed her in his life. He needed to see her when he walked in the door, he needed to hear her voice ringing out through the hallways and he needed to smell her sweet scent. He couldn't free her but he knew she may leave eventually. She'd already been through hell and didn't need to live it for the rest of her life.
He rocked Patsy in his arms, while she sobbed out her own pain. He couldn't imagine the terror she'd gone through herself. She'd only been a toddler when all that had occurred. He guessed the fates had stepped in to save them both. He wished her father was still alive because he'd never wanted to seriously harm someone as badly as he wanted to at that moment.
"I'm okay now," Patsy gulped, as she looked at him with her innocent eyes. She seemed more like twelve than sixteen.
"I'm sorry you went through all that and I'm even sorrier I wasn't there for you," he told her, fighting to not show his own pain.
"You couldn't have been there for us. She didn't allow anyone to help her shoulder the pain," Patsy told him. He knew she was right but it sure didn't make him feel any better. When she'd sent him walking, he'd never looked back. He hadn't wanted to show her any weakness and because of that, she'd been hurt.
He swore to make it up to her. He would make sure her life was so much better than it ever had been before. She'd never have to worry about money problems or where she was going to sleep. She'd never have a single worry again. He smiled wryly at himself thinking about how well that conversation would go over.
He'd make sure she and her sister were okay and her love of Patsy is what he would use to get her to accept his offerings. He knew she'd already gone to the ends of the earth for her sister and he also knew she'd continue to do so the rest of her life.
Her sacrifices weren't even sacrifices in her own eyes. She believed everyone would do the same thing for their family. She was so wrong. Most people he'd ever known didn't give a lick about anyone or anything but themselves. She was an exception.
Patsy finally pulled herself together and he went back into the den to have another drink. He had to calm down again before he saw her. Patsy had promised not to tell Nicole of their conversation. He hated to have her sister keep secrets from her but he also didn't want her defensive because he knew her secrets. He had to be careful not to act too differently around her, or she'd be furious. She obviously didn't want to be pitied and she didn't want to be a martyr.
He finally had himself under control enough to walk up the stairs. He'd been gone over an hour and was shocked to find her still in the tub. She was lying back in the water but she was awake. He walked in and groaned, as the bubbles were quickly fading. He reached in and felt the water had cooled off so he turned the faucet on hot to re-warm the tub.
"I can do that myself," she said, bringing her knees up to her chest in modesty. He looked at her with his brows raised high. She was hiding not only what he'd seen many times over but licked, sucked and done just about everything imaginable too. As if she could read his thoughts, her cheeks turned scarlet and she quickly looked away.
He released some of the cooler water and soon the tub was back up to a nice temperature and full of new bubbles. She relaxed her body eyeing him warily. He blew out his breath, reminding himself to not act differently. What would he have done before his world had been knocked off of its axis? That was easy. He would've joined her in the tub.
He gave her a very seductive smile and began stripping his clothing off. She looked at him in shock and he could see she was trying to decide whether to stay in the safety of her bubbles, or jump out of the tub. He really hoped she stayed.
He got his clothes off, not even trying to hide his desire for her and stepped into the tub. He moved her forward and sat down behind her, quickly pulling her into his arms. It was like coming home. She leaned against him tensely for a few moments and when he didn't try doing anything other than hold her, she finally started to relax.
"I didn't want to go to that party anyway," he said, as if not attending was his idea.
"Ha," she said, with a jerk of her shoulder. He had to fight off the smile. He loved how she had to have the last word and he loved how he could wipe all words from her. He began rubbing his hands against her stomach. He felt the shudder run through her body and his worries started melting away.