Things had been much better over the last month. She still fought him every step of the way and his hunger for her was still as strong as it had been from the first day but he would wake up many mornings to find her gone. She didn't try climbing into another bed but he would find her on the sofa, watching a movie, or out in the garden. He couldn't complain and keep her locked to his bed twenty-four-seven but he'd like to do that.
He decided to force himself to go on the trip. He refused to let her alter his lifestyle, especially since she wasn't giving him anything of herself emotionally. But even beyond that the trip would be good. Maybe when he was gone she'd miss him and start appreciating the things he did for her. He was happy and hopeful about her possibly missing him. He was also afraid he was going to be the one aching and miserable.
He could swear she was a witch and had him under some kind of a spell. She even got along spectacularly with all of his family members. He seemed to be the only one who ever got under her skin. He hadn't once in his adult life, lasted so long with any woman. He couldn't seem to get enough of her, even when she was snapping at him. It figured he wanted more than anything the one thing he should cut ties with.
"Hey, where did you go?" Derek asked him.
"Sorry, my mind drifted off," Ryan told his cousin.
"Yeah, I remember those days. I bet your thoughts were filled with a dark haired beauty," Derek said with a waggle of his brows.
"No, of course not. I'm thinking about my upcoming trip," Ryan lied smoothly.
"When are you leaving?"
"I have to take off tonight. I won't be back for at least a month, maybe longer. Hopefully by then I'll have some more control over myself," Ryan told him. Derek actually had the gall to laugh, which caused Ryan to glare. That only made Derek laugh even harder. He guessed he deserved it, as he'd pushed Derek's buttons when he'd been miserable.
"I have a trip next week in that direction so I'll stop by and see what you're working on. I haven't been able to take Jasmine out in a while and I think she'd really love Rome," Derek told him with a sappy look in his eye.
"Seriously Derek, you're disgustingly pleasant now. What the hell happened to the corporate powerhouse?"
"Jasmine happened. I didn't know I could be so happy but man, if I'm away from her for even a night I feel empty," Derek said. Ryan's gut clenched at those words. He was forcing himself to be away from Nicole for much longer than one night. He wasn't his cousin though and wouldn't allow himself to think about it. It was a good thought at least.
"I feel like a freaking third wheel around you and Drew now," Ryan said, feeling a little bit sorry for himself. He loved his cousins' spouses but both of them were over the moon in happiness. He felt like they were sharing some great secret he couldn't possibly understand.
"I'll see if Drew and Trinity want to join me on the trip. I don't think Trinity's ever been to Rome either. I don't know if I can drag them away from the kids, though."
"Yeah, yeah you guys can all come and throw your happiness in my face," Ryan grumbled. He may have been complaining a bit but he would be really happy to have his family show up and see one of his projects.
"All joking aside, I think you have something special with Nicole. Take my advice and let down your defenses and maybe you'll get that same sappy look on your face," Derek told him.
"I'll pass on that."
"Yeah, that's what I said too. Let's see if you last as long as I did," Derek said, with a knowing look on his face. Derek took off and Ryan tried to put Nicole out of his mind, while he started focusing on his project. He really did enjoy Rome. It was a beautiful place and the project he was taking on was the biggest and oldest he'd worked on yet. It would consume him wholeheartedly, which was a good thing.
Ryan slammed the hammer down with far more force than was needed. He'd been at the job for over a month and sitting at a desk, behind the scenes, wasn't even enough to quell his bad mood. He couldn't believe he was still unable to get Nicole out of his mind. He'd even called her several times, making up excuses but the real reason was just to hear her voice. He was going home that day. He couldn't take being apart from her any longer. He still reassured himself he simply needed to get her out of his system.
His family had shown up and been suitably impressed with his project but even the normal joy he felt in restoring a historic site was gone. He'd taken a few days off, to tour the city with his family but his smile had been fake and his joy had been subdued. He continued to hammer away his frustration and when he bent yet another nail, he decided to call it a day.