She shivered. Had Roslyn hated her so much? Or had she just wanted Chrysander that badly? Maybe both. Or maybe Roslyn had just been working for Chrysander’s competition all along.
The events of the last few days still weighed heavily on her. She couldn’t just forget everything because he apologized and offered her love and marriage, could she? She couldn’t even return that declaration because he’d never believe it if it came now.
She sighed and lay on her side, curling her knees to her swollen belly. She was so tired. So very worn out, both physically and emotionally. She rubbed her stomach, smiling when her son rolled and kicked beneath her fingers.
“What should I do?” she whispered. She was so afraid to trust Chrysander with her love again. She was also afraid to be without him. As much damage as he’d done to her heart, she ached at the thought of leaving him.
She closed her eyes for just a moment. Exhaustion permeated every pore. She couldn’t make such a monumental decision in a few minutes’ time. Too much was at stake. She had a child to consider. She had herself to consider.
Over the next few days, Chrysander saw to her every need. He coddled her, pampered her and fussed endlessly over her. He told her often that he loved her, though he was careful to keep a respectable distance between them.It would seem he went to great pains not to pressure her in any way. He wouldn’t use the passion that sparked between them as a means to sway her, and for that she was grateful.
Two days after Chrysander had asked her to marry him again, his brothers came to visit. Marley tried to excuse herself, thinking that they’d want to discuss business with Chrysander, and to be honest, she still felt awkward and shamed in their presence even though she’d done nothing to deserve their censure.
But it was her they asked to speak to, and she stared at them in bewilderment as they looked gravely at her.
“We have acted unforgivably toward you, little sister,” Theron said.
Piers nodded in agreement. “It is understandable if you never forgive us. We were harsh. There is no defense for our treating you, especially since you are pregnant with our nephew, as we have.”
Guilt was etched heavily into their faces, and they looked so uncomfortable, but she had no idea what to do or say to ease the situation.
Theron moved forward and put his hands gently on her shoulders. He kissed her on both cheeks then stepped back as Piers did the same.
She glanced toward Chrysander, who watched her with solemn eyes. His face was drawn and seemed thinner as though he’d lost weight. He looked…unhappy. It wasn’t guilt, though there was a lot of that floating around the room. He genuinely looked as though he’d lost the one thing that mattered most to him.
Her?
The thought nearly paralyzed her. She smiled shakily at Theron and Piers and then excused herself, nearly running from the room in her haste to get away.
She threw open the door to the patio and welcomed the chilly air. She stepped outside taking deep breaths and trying to settle her rioting emotions.
Her mind skated back over everything she’d felt for the last several days. Betrayal. She’d been lied to. She stopped there, because now she wondered if Chrysander really had lied to her about his feelings.
He looked like she felt. Lost. They were both obviously hurting. If he hated her, truly hated her, then why would he enact such an elaborate charade when she lost her memory? Why would he feel obligated to someone who had stolen from him?
“You’re pregnant with his child,” she murmured. And yes, she could see how a fair amount of care would be due the mother of his child, but why wouldn’t he have done as Theron suggested and merely set her up in an apartment somewhere? Why would he woo her, make love to her, act as though she mattered to him?
Did he love her? The declaration couldn’t have been easy for him to make. Chrysander wasn’t a man prone to sharing his emotions. In all the time they were together before her kidnapping, he’d never spoken to her of his feelings. But he’d shown her in a dozen ways that she had mattered to him.
Could she trust him again? The thought frightened her, and at the same time it offered her a measure of peace. The choice was hers. Her future would be of her own making.
Even as her options rolled over and over in her mind, she knew what she would do. She knew what she wanted, even knowing it might not be the best choice for her. The heart didn’t always choose wisely, she thought with a grimace.
Still, she found herself returning inside and going in search of Chrysander. Worry knotted her belly, but she knew she was making the right decision, even if it didn’t feel quite right at this very moment.
She found him in the room she’d left him in, staring out the window, a drink in his hand. His brothers were gone and heavy silence lay over the room. She paused for a moment, gathering her courage. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. His slacks were wrinkled and his shirt sleeves were unbuttoned and rolled partway up his arms. A shadow of a beard covered his jaw, and his hair was rumpled.