Now, I just want to be with you.”
“But…” She pulled back just enough to see his face. Placing both of his hands on either side of her head, he cupped her cheeks and gave her a long, closed-mouth kiss. When he finally pulled back, his blue eyes were rimmed with tears.
“I can’t guarantee I’ll never think of her again.
Because I will, especially when I’m with you. It doesn’t hurt so much to remember her when I’m with you. That’s a gift you’ve given me, and I’m grateful for it. But I can guarantee you I won’t automatically see her every time I look at you.”
Grinning, he touched B.J.’s face, tracing her hairline with the very tips of his fingers. “God, I can’t believe anyone would be able to see anyone else when you’re around. You’re so...alive. So wonderfully alive. Everything you do...it’s all just...full of vitality.
You’re a survivor. You have a stronger spirit than Amy ever did. You fight! You’re...you’re B.J. And I adore everything about you.”
He cleared his throat. “The day she died, in the hospital...she took one look at the dead baby and gave up. She didn’t glance my way, didn’t say anything to me. She just stopped living because she knew she’d never be a mother.”
Closing his eyes, he nuzzled his face in B.J.’s hair, and she wrapped her arms around him,
supporting him. “She could’ve fought to stay with me. I know she could’ve. She was alive and talking, right up until the moment she saw Bennett. But she didn’t want to live. She didn’t want to be childless.
So, she chose death over me.”
Blowing out a long, relieved breath as if
233
cleansed by the truth, he lifted his face and gave B.J.
a trembling smile. “You wouldn’t have done that to me,” he said with dead certainty.
“No,” she agreed. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have ever done that to you.” As tears flooded her face, she grinned through the downpour. “Damn it, Grady,”
she said and then caught him off guard by launching herself tighter against him and hugging him hard. “I love you so much.”
He pulled her close and kissed her hair. “Yeah,”
he murmured. “It’s nice to finally be on the same page with you.”
She snorted. “You’re telling me. I thought I was going to blow a gasket with all this angst and frustration. I kept worrying it’d screw with the baby, and he’d come out with three toes hanging from his chin or something.”
Grady laughed. Feeling free, as if he’d just been released from nearly three years of hell, he kissed her again. He knew the rest of his life would never be dull with B.J. at his side.
And he looked forward to it.