He pushed the thought away.
Emma scribbled something in her notebook and then looked up again as she took another sip of wine. “All right, Jace, ready for the hard part?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why did we break up?”
Alex lifted his eyebrows at the bluntness of the question, but then, that was Emma for you. To the point even when you didn’t want her to be.
Jason pursed his lips. “It was mutual, I remember that. We were eating dinner at a Thai restaurant, and got to talking and just…decided that it wasn’t working. Am I remembering that right?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much. No name-calling or blowups.”
What, no engagement ring chucked at his head? Cassidy thought.
“Do you remember anything else?” Emma asked. “The reason, or the catalyst?”
Jason looked down at his wine and gave a nervous laugh. “So, I never told you this….”
Emma leaned forward, pencil at the ready, and God help him, Cassidy was pretty sure he leaned forward, too.
Jason ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Well, about a week before we parted ways, you and I had gone to the library—the big one, on Fifth—just to look around, for fun….”
What was it with the two of them and their romantic book dates?
“Anyway, there was a wedding that was just wrapping up. A big happy affair, with all the bridesmaids in matching dresses and a big dress on the bride, and lots of excited hollering as they did their pictures, or whatever…”
Alex felt Emma freeze, and he had the strangest urge to take her hand.
He didn’t.
But he wanted to.
“So I was, I don’t know…I’ve got a big family, and always pictured a big old wedding like that. And I asked you how you pictured your wedding. Not in the proposal kind of way, just casual conversation, you know?”
Emma nodded, although she hadn’t moved. Hadn’t written a single word.
“You said you didn’t want to get married. Ever,” Jason said, his voice kind, rather than accusatory. “And it’s not like I’d been secretly naming our children and house hunting in the suburbs, but—”
“But you did want to get married someday,” Emma finished for him.
“Yeah.” Jason smiled. “Definitely have always seen myself going the wife and kids route, you know?”
“Well,” she said with a forced smile. “You’re almost there! When’s the big day?”
“Not for six months,” Jason said. “I didn’t realize what a big wedding entailed until I met Gretchen. There’s cake tasting and flowers and seating arrangements and catering decisions—”
“Yeah, it’s crazy,” Emma cut in, her voice just the tiniest bit sharp. “So happy for you, though! Okay, so that was the last of my official questions, but if there’s anything else you want to add, anything about our relationship or me…”
Jason shook his head as he set his glass of wine on the coffee table. “Just that you were lovely. Are lovely. Are you seeing anyone special?”
“No. Not at the moment.”
Jason stood, and Emma and Alex did as well. Jason headed toward the front door, and Emma followed him out.
Alex grabbed all three of their wineglasses, lost in thought. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this. Any of this.
He started to head toward the kitchen when Jason paused in the process of shrugging on his jacket. “You know, there’s one other thing that I thought about for months after we broke up,” Jason said.
“Yeah?” Her voice held an artificial brightness.
Jason opened the front door and glanced down at her, his smile regretful. “I wish I could have made you smile more. The big, genuine kind that makes your eyes crinkle and all of your teeth show.”
Emma let out a little laugh. “I seem to be hearing that one a lot.”
Alex’s gaze flew to her profile at that. She hadn’t smiled for her other boyfriends? He thought back. He remembered her laughing all the time. Her smile wide, her eyes laughing. She was shy, so it had taken a while to get beneath the surface to earn a real Emma smile, but once she’d trusted you, she’d been so easy to make happy. They’d both been happy, feasting off the other person’s laugher.
Apparently that sort of effortless joy was something she’d grown out of.
Or maybe you destroyed it.
“Nice meeting you,” Jason said with a wave at Alex.
Alex lifted a hand in response, turning away before they hugged good-bye.
When she came back into the kitchen, she tossed her notebook onto the counter and plowed her fingers into her hair.
He itched to go to her…to somehow ease the weariness from her. But he didn’t know how. Didn’t know that she’d want it.