The Tooth Tattoo(9)

Nothing more of substance was said and he left soon after. It was clearly a ‘don’t call us’ situation.


Three weeks went by before he was contacted again. He was on the sundeck of a riverboat on the Thames playing in a string trio for someone’s wedding. This kind of gig was a steady source of income and he didn’t think of it as slumming, as some musicians did. The repertoire was undemanding, but the pieces were popular for a reason. Most were from the shows and it was no hardship to play Gershwin and Bernstein along with others who had written damn good tunes and never aspired to the concert hall. In a mid-session break for drinks Mel was cradling a tankard and leaning on the rail watching ducks and moorhens taking refuge in the reeds along the river bank when a nudge from behind almost sloshed the beer out of his glass.

‘Careful, chuck. You don’t want to wet your Strad.’

He turned and found himself staring into a cleavage threatening to give him vertigo. He’d noticed this large wedding guest in a lyre-shaped fascinator hat and a wispy, low-cut yellow dress whooping it up with several of the men. The hearty shove in his back had come from her and here she was telling him to be careful.

This lady’s had a few, he told himself. People do at weddings. Keep in the spirit of the occasion. ‘If this is a Strad,’ he said, ‘I’m putting it up for sale. What’s your best offer?’

‘My body,’ she said, ‘and there’s plenty of that, but on closer inspection it looks like a Chinese imitation. The viola, I mean, not me. I withdraw the offer. You’re Mel Farran, right?’

Caught by surprise, he said, ‘I am.’

She drew back a fraction, allowing him to get a wider focus on her physique. She was exceptionally large in all areas. Under the rake of the hat, blonde curls in profusion surrounded a face that was both pretty and pudgy. ‘I came specially to see you. I’m the cellist in the quartet you could be joining.’

He took a moment to absorb this. ‘Really? Which quartet is that?’

She wagged her finger. ‘I may look decks-awash, buster, but you won’t catch me as easily as that. I’m more sober than you think and that’s restricted information.’

‘Are you allowed to tell me who you are?’

‘I’ve told everyone else, so I might as well tell you. I’m Cat – known for obvious reasons as Cat with Kitties. Rhyming slang.’

Difficult to follow that. Mel summoned a faint grin.

Cat continued blithely, ‘You look the part, anyway, and apparently you can play a bit. Have you ever tried the cello?’

‘I know enough not to stick it under my chin.’

‘Don’t get modest with me. I bet you can play, and I could play yours if you’ll pardon the expression. At a pinch I can stand in for anyone.’

‘Useful.’

‘In the quartet we back each other up.’

‘Does that mean you get someone else to carry your cello?’

She laughed and everything wobbled. ‘Now you’re talking, kiddo. If that’s a genuine offer, you could have just sealed your place in the famous foursome. Mind if I handle your instrument?’

She had the knack of giving an innuendo to everything, and she had already picked up his viola.

Mel handed the bow across. Cat gripped the fiddle in a way that showed she was no beginner, tucked the chin-rest into her flesh and played a few bars of Elgar’s ‘Salut d’Amour’, inescapable at events like this.

‘Would I get by?’

‘You know you would.’

With a sure touch, she segued to the opening solo chords of the Telemann Viola Concerto. Much more demanding.

‘You don’t need me in your quartet,’ Mel said.

‘I’m a smart gal, but there’s a problem. I haven’t yet learned how to play my cello whilst holding the viola.’ In yet another smooth change of styles she knocked out some bars from one of the numbers the trio had performed, “Those Were the Days”, and did it with gusto. ‘Tell you what. Why don’t you get yourself another drink and I’ll sit in for you? The others won’t mind.’

They didn’t. She delighted everyone, including Mel’s colleagues in the trio, not merely coping with the music, but giving it some welly.

Mel looked on in awe from behind a cluster of guests bobbing to the beat. He was amazed that this boisterous woman belonged to the same quartet as the po-faced Ivan. How on earth did the pair of them relate to each other? Ivan had said something about the members all being individuals, but these two came from different planets. Perhaps the playful Cat was needed as a counter-balance to Ivan’s navel-gazing. Mel was in no doubt which of the two he’d rather have for company. What could the others be like? As yet he couldn’t picture a rehearsal. String quartets were sometimes known as the “music of friends”. His own experiences of ensemble playing told him this could be a long way from the truth, but there was an understanding that discussions must take place and agreement reached on fine points as well as the major issues of interpretation.