“Colin, I've known my fate for a long time, and because of it, I've avoided knowing…or caring…for anyone. That is, until now. You've changed all that. You've made it impossible. But that is all I can tell you right now. All you can know. So please let it be, as you promised.”
Like a bolt of lightning, the thrill of her words charged Colin's spirit. She cared for him, as he cared for her. Mutually, exclusively, sincerely. They would make this relationship a possibility. He knew it now.
With a single sweep, Colin lifted her up from where she sat, crushing her body to his. His mouth found hers, and their lips bruised each other with a passion so different from anything they had shared before. It felt to Celia as if their souls had entwined as their bodies were seeking to. All the insecurities that had been following her, tormenting her, evaporated into the garden's misty air. She felt his tongue searching the warm recesses of her own, and she responded with a desire to envelop him, to take him in as far as he could reach.
Colin's passion seemed to explode, but there was nothing in Celia that even thought to hold back. The untried passions that she had so carefully disciplined for so long erupted. Indeed, Celia was as frantic as he, her fingers gripping his hair, compelling him to kiss her. She wanted more of him. There was a fire building within her body, traveling through her veins, sensualizing her being. She never had known this urgency before, and nothing mattered now but to touch, to feel, to taste. She could not get enough of him.
Colin felt an inferno raging in his loins. The unbridled passion of Celia's response was pushing him to the very limits of his control. He knew that in the span of a moment, he would take her where they stood, regardless of the consequences.
But a thought was pushing through the white hot sensations that were engulfing his conscious mind. The thought began as a cold blue spot, and steadily grew, forcing itself through the blinding flames of his lust and his desire for her.
This would be their only lover's embrace. She was giving herself to him for this one moment of passion. For this one moment only, he realized.
Abruptly Colin ended the kiss.
Entwining his fingers in her dark locks, he pulled her head gently back, his lips still only a breath away from hers. Looking into her passion-clouded eyes, he forced himself to say the words he knew he must.
“Celia, this moment will not be enough for me. Tell me that there will be more, that this is just the beginning.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and her ragged breathing gave way to a soft whisper as she responded from her very soul.
“Colin, my future is not my own. It has not been for a long time.”
“Celia, I will not let you go. It cannot be your destiny to wed someone you do not love.”
These were words that, for so long, Celia had not even allowed herself to dream of. But now, hearing them come from Colin, the only person in this world who seemed able to awaken in her the feelings, the sensations...the love...that she thought would never be hers to have or to give.
Was this only a dream? If this be a dream, she never wanted it to end.
But the way he held her, the way he touched her, the way he spoke to her...these things were not dreams. His touch and his words radiated through her. And she believed him. For the first time, Celia saw a glimpse of herself as a woman with a future. A future!
And what would that future hold? Love, she thought. As her parents loved. A sharing of dreams. Through hardships and joys. And only one man had ever made her think this way. This man.
But first, there were battles that needed to be fought.
“Colin, it's more than that.” She stumbled for the words.
“Then tell me, make me understand.” Colin released her from his embrace, gently taking hold of her hands.
Celia's brow furrowed for a moment as she searched for a way to warn him about the path that she was traveling. A path that could soon lead to Argyll's castle. A path that could lead anywhere.
“I have a responsibility that I have sworn to fulfill. And until the moment comes when I have done so, my life and the choices of my life do not belong to me.”
Colin wondered whether the responsibility she spoke of was Kit. But he wanted to make her understand that he would help her.
“All I'm asking is for you to remain here for a few days, until I get back from seeing the earl of Argyll. Then I will aid you in whatever way I can. Together, we can be—”
“Argyll? You're going to see Argyll?” This is what Celia needed. To get to Argyll herself. To find out why Father William was hesitating. To complete this leg of her journey.
“Aye. I just received word that he's returned to his winter lodging,” Colin replied. “I will find out for you about your priest friend, if you like.”
“I want to go with you,” she said, stepping away from him.
“Where? To the abbey?”
“Aye, to see Father William.”
“Why do you need to go yourself?” Colin asked pointedly. “Why can't I see him for you?”
“Because I need to see him myself,” Celia responded, pausing. “Colin, you promised to ask me no questions. I'm holding you to that promise. All I can tell you is that I need to go with you.”
“Nay. I will not take you,” he answered flatly. He assumed that Celia knew nothing more about the attackers’ identities than she had said, that she had no idea of any connection between the attackers and the abbey where Father William was staying. But in their discussion in the Great Hall, his father had expressed reservations about the earl of Argyll's allegiance. Forty years of navigating the treacherous waters of Scottish politics had given him insights that Colin knew it would be foolish to overlook. And if Lord Hugh was correct, then the trip could possibly be dangerous. If there was one thing that Colin knew, it was that he didn't want to put Celia in any more danger.
“Colin, you just said you would help me,” Celia said, her anger flaring. “Then take me with you.”
“I cannot,” he responded. “There could be dangers on this trip that I do not want to expose you to.”
“Do not try to tell me that a short trip like this could be more dangerous than what I've already been through,” Celia said shortly. But she knew that to convince him to take her, she had to soften her tone. “Besides, I'll be traveling with you.”
“Celia, this is the Western Highlands. People here have a different view of women than they do in the Lowlands. There are dangers here that you have never faced. Whatever you need done there, I'll do for you.”
“You cannot,” she replied softly. “I will not hinder you, either. I can take care of myself. I grew up on ships that no pirates even dared to attack. Among men whose view of women would make attitudes out here pale by comparison. But I have things that I need to be doing.”
Colin had sensed Celia's strong-willed nature, and he could see that she was determined. He knew he would do better to try another tack, if he wanted to persuade her amicably.
“Celia, what about Kit? What will you do about him?”
Celia hated the thought of leaving the bairn after what had happened, but she had to speak with Father William. Edmund would protect Kit while she was gone; she was certain of that.
With the English pressing ever closer, Celia felt time was running short, and she needed to learn the reason for Father William’s hesitation. With Argyll back, Celia also hoped that going there would expedite their next move.
“He'll be fine here with Ellen and Edmund. You said we'll only be gone a day or two.”
“Before we had this conversation, you didn't even know I was going to see Argyll. I do not understand this sudden urge. Were you planning to go yourself?”
“Colin,” she responded, quietly moving to him and taking his huge hand in hers. “I simply cannot tell you the business that I've sworn to complete. A few moments ago you said that this garden is like Scotland. It is true. To enjoy the fruits of the garden, there is work that must be accomplished. Trust me.”
“The way you are trusting me?” Colin looked Celia squarely in the eye. She was expecting more of him than she seemed willing to give. How could he be sure that the course she was taking was the best for all of them?
“I do trust you, Colin Campbell. You know more about me than I was permitted to tell anyone. What you know now, I have told you because I believe in you. And what I am doing now, you would also be doing.”
Colin turned and looked out at the two trees at the far end of the garden. He knew all four of these cherry trees would be flowering soon, as they did every spring since his mother planted them so long ago.
What curious terms she uses, he thought: `permitted' and `sworn to complete' are such odd terms. Who is behind all this, anyway? What is this business about that she was sworn to complete? There were so many questions running through his mind. Perhaps one way to get some of the answers was to take her to Argyll's winter lodging.
Aye, he would take her, but he would protect her, as well. If Argyll were somehow connected with that attack, Colin was not going to allow her to be an easy target. He would take more precautions than he had initially planned. But that was, perhaps, the wisest course, anyway.
“Celia,” he asked, looking at her seriously, “will the earl of Argyll recognize you?”
Celia gave him a puzzled look, unsure of his question.