“You think it will work?”
“Not sure, but I think you’ll regret it forever if you don’t try. Jacob and I can be over in a half hour to watch the baby.”
None of this will be right without Oliver. “No. It’s okay. I’m taking him with me.”
* * *
Sarah went into the Kama office Sunday morning. Although it was their headquarters, that word was generous—it was really just an old warehouse she’d been renting for the last year. Sleep last night had been pointless—too many painful things wreaking havoc in her head. Too many things running through her heart, like water through a sieve. She’d been so scared of what would happen if she got too close and now she knew how right she’d been to fear it. Losing Oliver and Aiden was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. No doubt about that.
She didn’t bother flipping on the lights as she wound through the sewing room with its massive cutting tables, stacked high with boxes of inventory ready to ship. She went straight back to her office and got to work—the act of a woman invested in her own success, but it felt like an empty gesture. A show. More faking it. Her heart wasn’t in it, as much as she might very well be standing on the precipice of great success. On the inside, she was as empty as she’d ever been, which was a devastating realization. Her hard work was finally paying off, and she felt horrible. She’d seen low moments, but not like this.
Not like last night, when she couldn’t get a single minute of relief because her eyes were like a faucet. Her heart had stubbornly chosen to ache and throb in her chest and remind her with every pointless beat that the difference between the love a person gives freely and the love they receive in return is what ends up breaking us. This was the second time she’d had to learn the lesson of how it empties a person—giving and giving, never refilling the tank. And she was as done as done could be. The fate of her business felt as inconsequential as a speck of dust floating in air. It was nothing worth holding on to if she couldn’t have what she’d truly invested in—Aiden and Oliver.
But Aiden hadn’t been able to go there. He just couldn’t say I love you. If only he knew—or cared—three little words and she would’ve figured out a way to stay. She would’ve told him that she’d meant it. She would’ve done everything she could to make them all whole again, to knit them into the family they could have been. But apparently, for a man wealthy beyond anything she ever imagined, three words was too high a price to pay.
She tidied her office—going through the mail she’d missed over the last week, filing away things, neatening stacks of paper. She made sure her computer screen was free of smudges, and watered the pink orchid on her desk. She did every mindless task she could come up with, all in the interest of staying busy. If she couldn’t move forward, she could at least tread water. She could keep her head above the rising tide. She had to fight back her thoughts of her last night with Aiden, of the connection they’d shared. There was no doubt in her mind that it had been more than sex that night. And she knew, deep down, that Aiden knew it, too. He just couldn’t admit it to himself. He was too wounded.
Tessa popped into view. “Morning,” she said, stepping foot into the office.
Sarah jumped. “You scared me.” She pressed her hand to her chest. Her heart was pounding. “What are you doing here? You didn’t need to come in today. You should be at home relaxing. Tomorrow’s a big day. I need you on top of your game.”
A mischievous smile spread across her face. “I came by to let somebody in. He was pretty sure you weren’t going to let him in on your own.”
“What? Who?”
Just then, Aiden appeared in her doorway, Oliver in his arms. “I had to talk my way in. I needed to bring Oliver to you. He misses you. I miss you.”
The grin on Tessa’s face had only grown. “I’ll leave you three alone. See you tomorrow.”
Sarah walked out from behind her desk, in shock. Was this a dream? Were Aiden and Oliver a mirage? Surely a figment of her imagination couldn’t have the pull on her that Aiden did right now. All she wanted to do was fling her arms around him and kiss him. Oliver reached for her. The minute she had him, Aiden’s arms were around them both.
“Sarah, I’m here because I had to tell you in person that I love you.”
“But...” Tears rolled down her face. How could she possibly cry more? “You don’t have to do this. Don’t feel like you have to say that to me. And you really shouldn’t feel like you have to travel hours with a baby to say that to me in person.”