“Push you out?”
“They sent me to boarding school after Adam was born. I was seven. I didn’t understand why, but they said it was for my own good. Now I suspect it was because he couldn’t stand the sight of me.”
Sarah’s eyes became impossibly sad. He hated seeing that look on her face, even when it was his pain she was reflecting. She grasped his forearm, scooting closer on the couch. The distance he’d left was gone, and he was so glad. He craved having her close. He wanted nothing more than to erase the space between them.
“I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like. I’m sure you were just the sweetest boy. I’m so sorry.”
Aiden wasn’t much for pity, but it was healing to have Sarah see how wrong it all was. “It got worse over the years. I got in trouble at school a lot, mostly for fighting or practical jokes. I got kicked out of a few. That was never fun. It embarrassed my dad and confirmed to him that I didn’t belong at home. I guess I was self-destructive, but I was confused. I certainly didn’t feel loved.”
Sarah was now rubbing his arm softly with her thumb. “Of course you didn’t. No child should feel that way.” She looked down at her lap and fiddled with the hem of her sweater. She was so gorgeous in the moonlight—it was like watching a museum masterpiece come to life. “I know that my arrival with Oliver was a shock, but you have such a big opportunity with him.”
“Opportunity?”
She nodded and sucked in her lower lip. “You can give Oliver the childhood that you didn’t have.”
For a moment, it felt as though the earth didn’t move. He’d thought that on some level, but hearing her say it made it clear how right it was. “I can break the cycle.”
“Yes. Although I don’t think you’ll have real closure until your mom finally tells you the truth.”
He downed the last of his wine. “I’m starting to wonder if that will happen.”
“Have you told anyone else in your family?”
“I confided in Anna, but she thinks I’m crazy. She knows that something wasn’t right in our household, but I don’t think she wants to believe it. My father has only been gone about a year. Everyone is still grieving. No one wants to think ill of him.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy, Aiden. It makes perfect sense to me.”
Sarah’s lips were right there, waiting for him, telling him everything he’d ever wanted to hear. The validation of his pain, his fears, the vulnerability that he wished didn’t exist at all, was so powerful it made his entire body feel lighter. He wanted to kiss her so badly, to express his gratitude for her in a way that would leave no doubt in her mind that he appreciated her.
But he couldn’t do that. Not when he needed her in Oliver’s life. Not when he was sure it would ruin everything.
His phone buzzed with a text. Normally, he wouldn’t stop to read it, especially when he was alone with a beautiful woman, but it was taking extreme effort to keep from kissing this one and it was his intention to do exactly that. “I’m sorry. I should check this.” The message was from Anna—good news. “You and I are going to Miami. We have our tickets.”
Sarah popped up out of her seat. “For Forward Style?”
He laughed, watching her bounce on her toes. “Yes. We go the day after tomorrow.”
“Wednesday? Oh my God. We have to book flights. Who’s going to take care of Oliver?” She looked him squarely in the face. “What am I going to wear?”
“We’ll ask Anna and Jacob to stay with Oliver for the night. You know they’d love to do it.”
Sarah’s shoulders dropped with relief. “True. She and Jacob are so good with him. What about the rest?”
“We’ll take the corporate jet. No need to worry about flights.”
“Are you sure? That seems extravagant.”
He grinned so wide it made his cheeks ache. The joy of seeing her happy and excited was his reward after a roller coaster of a day. “Yes. I’m sure. I told you I’d help you, and I’m a man of my word. As for what you should wear, we’re in New York. Go shopping.”
She shook her head. “There’s no time. We have more nannies to interview tomorrow, and I know you need to get some work done. Plus, if I’m going to walk up to Sylvia Hodge and try to impress her, I need to be wearing one of my own designs.”
“You’re going to wear a nightgown?”
She slapped his arm and grimaced. “No, silly. I design other things. And I have the perfect gown at home. It’s gorgeous. Emerald green, dangerously low-cut. Sylvia will love it.” Her eyes flashed with mischief. “I just need to get Tessa in my office to overnight it to me.”