The Temple of the Muses(6)

“What of Gaul, then?” Rufus asked.

“Trouble. The Helvetii are making warlike noises. They resent the Roman presence and they’re talking about taking back the Roman Province.”

“We can’t let them do that!” someone said. “It’s our only overland connection to Iberia!”

“That’s just what we were trying to prevent,” I said. “We called on a number of tribal leaders and reminded them of our old friendships and alliances and we passed a few bribes.”

“Do you think they’ll stay peaceful?” Rufus asked.

“You can never tell with Gauls,” I said. “They’re an emotional people, and they do love to fight. They could jump either way. When we left, most of them seemed to be content, but tomorrow some fire-raiser could make a speech accusing them of being women for accepting Roman authority, and the next day all Gaul could be in revolt just to prove their manhood.”

“Well, we’ve beaten them many times before,” said the secretary, who was a safe distance from Gaul.

“And they’ve whipped us a few times,” I reminded him. “A tribe or two at a time, they’re no danger. But if every tribe in Gaul decides to throw us out, I don’t see that we could do much about it. They outnumber us about fifty to one, and they’re on their own home ground.”

“We need another Marius,” someone said. “He knew how to handle Gauls and Germans.”

“He knew how to handle Romans, too,” I said sourly. “Mainly by massacring them.”

“Only people of senatorial rank,” the obnoxious little secretary pointed out. “But then, you Metelli were Sulla’s supporters, weren’t you?”

“Pay no attention to him,” Rufus said affably. “He’s a freedman’s son, and the common herd were Marians to a man. But seriously, when does the proconsulship for transalpine Gaul change?”

“It will be one of next year’s Consuls,” I said, “which means some amiable dolt will undoubtedly be on the spot when the Gauls finally rise up and start wiping out every Roman citizen they can lay hands on.” If I could have known what was happening back in Rome that year, I would have been far more alarmed. We faced something a great deal worse than a trifling military disaster in Gaul. But I was blissfully unaware of it, as was Rome in general.

“Now what of Egypt?” I asked. “There must be some problem, or the Senate wouldn’t have ordered Creticus all the way from Gaul.”

“The situation here is a chaotic shambles, as usual,” Rufus told me. “Ptolemy is the last living male adult of the line. The question of the succession is growing urgent, because he will drink himself to death before long and we must have an heir to support or we’ll have a whole civil war to sort out, and that could take a number of years and legions.”

“Who are the contenders?” I asked.

“Just one, an infant born a few months ago, and sickly at that,” the secretary said.

“Let me guess. Would his name be Ptolemy?” The only other name they used was Alexander.

“However did you get that idea?” Rufus said. “Yes, another little Ptolemy and one in for a lengthy minority, from the look of things.”

“Princesses?” I asked. The women of that line were usually more intelligent and forceful than the men.

“Three,” Rufus said. “Berenice is about twenty and she’s the king’s favorite. Then there’s little Cleopatra, but she’s no more than ten, and Arsinoe, who is eight or so.”

“No Selene in this generation?” I asked. That was the only other name bestowed on the Ptolemaic daughters.

“There was one, but she died,” Rufus said. “Now, if no other girls are born, Cleopatra is probably the one little Ptolemy will marry, if he should live that long. There’s already a court faction supporting her.” The Ptolemies had long ago adopted the quaint Egyptian custom of marrying their sisters.

“On the other hand,” said the secretary, “should the king turn toes-up any time soon, Berenice will probably marry the infant and rule as regent.”

“Would that be a bad idea?” I asked. “On the whole, the Berenices and Cleopatras have been a pretty capable lot, even if the men have mostly been clowns.”

“This one’s a featherbrain,” Rufus said. “She falls into every loathsome foreign cult that comes along. Last year there was a Babylonian revival and she devoted herself to some Asiatic horror with an eagle’s head, as if the native Egyptian gods weren’t disgusting enough. I think she’s over that one, but if so, she’s just found another even worse.”