The Tantric Principle(14)

“Spoilsport,” he growled.



“How did you end up being a yoga teacher?” she asked. “Most men I know are into karate or that Xtreme fighting thing.”



“I studied karate for years, but something was missing in it for me.” He rolled back onto the pillows and stared at the ceiling, as if playing back a memory. “Everything felt forced. Push through the pain, punish the body, more and more discipline. I respect the principles, but felt we were missing a core in the practice. A buddy of mine studied yoga and invited me to one of his classes. It all clicked for me, and I knew I wanted to study further.”



“What did you do before you opened up your school?”



“I worked in the restaurant business. I cooked, waited tables, washed dishes. I was going to open up my own restaurant.”



“Shut up.”



He laughed. “No, really. The food industry’s nuts. Lots of smoking, hard drinking, partying. Hooking up with wait staff, working nights and weekends. It’s a culture all unto itself. I burned out fast.”



“They seem like opposite worlds,” she murmured, her chin resting on his chest. “Do you miss it? Ever regret what you do now?”



“No. I love teaching, and I love the way I feel when I practice. I began noticing how yoga classes were held in basements and churches, but there were no real schools around. I took a leap of faith, made up a curriculum, and sunk all my savings into it. The rest, as they say, is history.”



“And how, pray tell, did tantra come into play? Or is that a double innuendo?” He laughed at her tongue in cheek comment and kissed her hard. “I don’t think I want to volunteer this information.”



Immediately, she perked up. “Too late. I’m holding my body ransom for information.”



“I surrender.” He tweaked her nipple gently while he spoke. “Like I said, the restaurant business was fast and loose. Sex to me was wham, bam, thank you ma’am.” He winced in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I sucked in bed.” Her mouth fell open like a guppy’s. “Liar.”



“No, truth. When I switched over to yoga, I read up on the ancient practices which were also a spiritual way for men to harness their energy. When a man comes, his energy is drained.” Arianna lifted one brow. “Is that why they have athletes practice celibacy before a game?”



“Exactly. Except tantra also deepens your meditation practices, and helps build a more intimate relationship. I realized I was always rushing to get to the last moment, and then immediately, I needed another hit. It was addicting, but there seemed no end to the cycle. With tantra, each level is so pleasurable, and leads to the next. There’s no more end result because it’s all one.”



Arianna quoted him again. “It’s all in the journey.”



“Like I said, my best student.”



Arianna let the comfortable silence wrap around them, their breathing the only sound in the room. She thought about his words, and thought about the new feelings blossoming inside of her. Finally, she ventured her last question. “Do you regret giving up your first school? Having to start over?”



His muscles tightened for a moment, then relaxed. “Sometimes. I think about what could have been, but I realize now I married someone I didn’t know. She was a student and got wrapped up in the practices. I thought she was my soul–mate, a business partner and a wife. But I don’t think she ever really loved me. She loved the idea of me, the perfect teacher and mentor.

Once she realized I was only a man, the glamour tarnished and she looked elsewhere.” His voice hardened. “No, I’m glad it happened. The next time I won’t make such a mistake.” A surge of messy emotions attacked her. Arianna defended her inner fortress and fought her feelings for the man lying beside her. A man brave enough to tell the truth. A man who could probably never trust her, afraid she'd mirror his ex-wife and would one day look upon her tarnished knight and move on. She knew differently though, in that brief moment, in bed at the hotel in the dark. Grant Madison was a man she could fall in love with. A man she could build a future with and entrust her heart to. The irony of their relationship tore through her and stole her breath. They were different types of people who moved in opposite worlds. An affair was the only thing Grant could offer her. A secret affair. Unfortunately, Arianna was in too deep to walk away. She knew she’d take whatever he offered, give him everything he wanted, and wait. For the day he left.





Until then, she’d take it day by day. Just as he taught her.