The Taming of Xander Sterne(78)

                ‘It is?’

                He nodded abruptly. ‘I can’t eat or sleep. I can’t think.’

                Sam could barely breathe as a faint glimmer of hope began to burn in her chest. A hint of light in the heaviness that had been weighing her down for so many weeks. ‘Why not?’

                He gave a groan. ‘Why do you think?’

                She gave a cautious shake of her head. ‘I have no idea.’

                ‘Because I’m in love with you, damn it!’ His eyes gleamed darkly. ‘I’m so in love with you that nothing and no else is important to me any more. Not my family. Not my business. Just you. I can’t think of anything else but you. Of how much I miss you. How much I want you and Daisy back in my life. How much I love you.’

                ‘But you let me go,’ Sam breathed softly.

                ‘Because you said you wanted to go!’

                ‘That was because—’ Sam drew in a deep and steadying breath, totally stunned at having Xander tell her he loved her. Xander loved her? ‘I didn’t want to leave, Xander. I just thought— You had been so good to me already, saving me from Malcolm, being so patient and caring with Daisy. I didn’t want you to let me stay because you felt sorry for me, or because you were still trying to protect me. I couldn’t bear that.’ Her voice broke emotionally. ‘If you couldn’t think of me as your equal—’

                ‘I don’t think of you as being my equal, Samantha. I think of you as being so much better than I could ever be—and I adore you for it!’ He began to pace the room. ‘But I didn’t want you to stay with me out of gratitude, either. Just because I had helped you sort out the situation with Howard.’

                ‘I don’t,’ Samantha assured him. ‘Well, of course I’m grateful...’ she smiled ruefully ‘...but that’s certainly not the reason I—that I made love with you the night before that awful confrontation with Malcolm.’

                ‘It isn’t?’

                ‘Absolutely not.’

                There was no way that Xander could doubt Samantha’s sincerity. ‘Then why did you?’ He gave an impatient shake of his head. ‘Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you? How empty my apartment is without you in it? How empty my bed is without you in it?’ He breathed raggedly. ‘I’m going quietly insane here, Samantha; so please will you say something?’

                Sam stood up slowly, that glimmer of light bursting into full brilliance inside her as the heavy weight of unhappiness evaporated and left as if it had never been. ‘I didn’t want to leave you, Xander. I thought you just felt sorry for me, and I didn’t want that from you. You had done so much for me already, I thought the least I could do was leave you in peace.’

                ‘Peace? I’ve been in living hell without you!’ he insisted fiercely.

                She reached up to gently touch the side of his face. ‘Xander, the only reason I left that day was because I realised I’d fallen in love with you, and I didn’t want you to feel in the least pressured to—to continue the relationship because you felt sorry for me.’

                ‘What?’

                She smiled shakily. ‘I’m in love with you, Xander. So much that it hurts. You asked how I’ve been? Well, I’ve been just awful. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I think about you all the time. I miss you all the time.’