“Well, knock it off.” She smacked my shoulder before returning to her seat.
“Yeah, Jack,” Gran said sternly. “Don’t do that to yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve been a good husband and a good father while you also juggled a demanding career. No one faults you for that.” The wonderful woman who raised me looked at me, her eyes filled with an odd combination of pride and sadness, and I felt a little twinge in my gut.
“You’re a good person, Jack. I know you don’t always believe that about yourself, but you are. I’m proud of you, son,” Gramps added and I almost fucking lost it. If my brother and Melissa hadn’t been sitting at the table, I probably would have cried like a baby, but I refused to do that in front of them. Dean didn’t need to witness what a complete pussy I’d turned into.
“I want to be a better husband and a better father. And this is what I need to do it. I hope you all understand.” I chanced another glance at my brother.
“Playing baseball on a professional level is intense, bro. You’ve given up so much to do it, you always have. If you think about it, you’ve never really had a normal life. You’ve always been busting your ass to make your dreams come true. And once they did, the work didn’t stop, it only got harder.” Dean nodded thoughtfully. “It’s your career and I think it’s pretty awesome if you end it on your terms.”
“Thank you. Do you think Marc and Ryan will be pissed?”
“Nah.” He waved me off. “Surprised, maybe, but not pissed. They’ll understand.”
“Congratulations, Jack,” Melissa chimed in. “You have no idea what you’ve been missing.”
“But I do. That’s the whole point.”
“No, you don’t. Not really. Do you even know what summer is? Aside from prime-time ball-playing season?”
I laughed. “I have a vague recollection of this thing you call summer.”
Cassie squeaked as she inhaled sharply. “Oh my gosh! You’ll be here for the fourth of July. And we can have barbeques all summer long! And swim parties! Jack, do you know what this means?” Her eyes practically glowed as she stared at me.
“Yeah, Kitten. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ll get to have a life with you. An actual non-baseball-driven life. Better get used to me being around, because I plan on stalking you for quite a while.”
“Dad, what’s stalking?”
I shot Cassie a freaked-out look. “Uh, it’s when you follow Mommy around the house all day.”
“Oooh,” Chance said with wide eyes. “I stalk Mommy all the time.”
Everyone at the table laughed and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, surrounded by family and the people I loved. I couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of my life.
I kept asking Jack if he was sure and he continued to insist that he was. If he changed his mind, I wanted him to know it was okay. The truth was, I hadn’t gotten my hopes up super high, just in case he decided at the last minute that he couldn’t retire. I would have understood. It seemed almost harder for me to grasp the concept that Jack was truly okay with quitting baseball, than it was for me to be mad at him if he reversed his decision.
But after he sat me down and told me he had officially decided to quit, his entire demeanor changed. It seemed like some virtual weight neither of us even knew existed had been lifted from his shoulders. He smiled more and got excited at the simplest things, like going to the movies. He couldn’t remember the last time we’d done that. And sadly, neither could I.
Even during those few months of the year when it was considered the off-season, Jack was never truly off. A real baseball player couldn’t be. This sport demanded so much of one’s time and mental energy. He was always focused and that put everything else on the back burner, especially having fun with no consequences or guilt. I’d never realized it really … until now.
Jack played his last game at Angel Stadium to a screaming, sold-out crowd. My parents showed up for the first half of the game before my mom complained about a migraine coming on and needed to leave. My dad offered to stay, but I told him that someone needed to drive Mom home and I wasn’t leaving. He nodded before taking her by the hand. It was nice to share this moment with them, however briefly, and I thanked them for coming.
Chance gave them both huge hugs and kisses on the cheek. He loved my parents and that honestly made me happy. No matter how they’d disappointed me in the past, I wanted my son to have a good relationship with them. They weren’t bad people at heart and I knew that. My dad seemed to be making an effort, and had been a man of his word lately. I figured now was as good a time as any to start mending those parental fences.