"No you haven't," I said at once.
She looked away, and her shoulders started to tremble. "I-I didn't tell you this before, but they tortured Tommy to get me to answer questions about you. I didn't want to, but what they did to him..." Her voice cracked and tears spilled down her face. "It broke me. I told them everything. I sold you out, Ivy."
The pain in her voice was so raw, it tore at me. I couldn't imagine how awful it had been for her, seeing her boyfriend tortured by the most sadistic creatures in existence. I tried to speak, to tell her that I understood, but she held up her hand almost violently.
"Afterward, they killed Tommy anyway, and they laughed at me for believing that they'd let him live if I told them what they wanted to know. After that, I wanted to die, too, but the hate...it kept me going. It was the only thing that did, and now, if I let it go, I don't think I'll be able to make it," she finished in an agonized whisper before dissolving into tears.
"Yes, you will," I said, taking her hands and gripping them. "You're strong, Jasmine. So much stronger than they'll ever be, no matter how many powers they have. And you didn't sell me out. You didn't know where I was or what I was doing the whole time the demons had you, so don't feel guilty about that a moment longer." My voice rose as I tried to force her to look at me. "And even if you had known and you told them, I would still love you. You're my sister, and nothing will ever change that."
She finally looked up, and the mixture of hope and heartbreak in her gaze was painful to witness. "You mean that?"
"Of course I do," I said, putting all the conviction I had into my voice. "Forever."
Then, she did something she hadn't done since we were kids. She threw her arms around me and cried.
* * *
HALF AN HOUR LATER, Jasmine used a reflective surface in the bathroom to make sure that she'd cleaned away all the evidence of her tears. I hadn't been wearing mascara like her, so all I'd needed to do was splash some water on my face and blow my nose a few times before I was good as new.
"I'll try not to hate Adrian anymore," Jaz called out from the bathroom, "but it's a lot harder for me to believe the best about him like you do, especially when I've heard so much about his worst from the demons who held me captive."
I shuddered, glad I hadn't heard what she had. Adrian had told me the generalities about his past, but I never wanted to know the details. "I understand, and I don't expect miracles." Then I let out a brief, ironic laugh. "Okay, I guess I do, but I'm reserving that for finding the staff and being able to use it."
She cocked her head. "Why wouldn't you be able to use it?"
I looked away, blaming my recent blood loss for the slip. Jasmine hadn't seen me wield the slingshot, so she didn't know that using it had almost killed me, and the staff was supposed to be more powerful by a lot. On my optimistic days, I gave myself a fifty-fifty chance of surviving it. Still, what could I do? Not try to stop the walls between the realms from crumbling? Even if I could live with myself if I did nothing to prevent the mass slaughter that would follow-and I couldn't, not after what I'd seen-I wouldn't survive the aftermath, either. So, likely death or not, the staff was the best chance I had.
I just wasn't able to tell Jasmine that using it would probably be the last thing I ever did. Not yet. She was still too battered emotionally to deal with that.
Lies of omission are still lies, an inner voice seemed to taunt. Was it only last night that I'd said that to Adrian? So much had happened since then, it seemed like a long time ago. "Oh, you know," I said, forcing a fake laugh. "Performance anxiety. I used to freak out before my chorus solos, too."
I couldn't tell her the truth, even if it made me a total hypocrite. I'd rather suffer her justified anger later than hurt her more now while she was already bleeding on the inside from countless emotional wounds.
"I remember." Jasmine's smile told me that she bought the lie, which was a relief. "But you were great with those, and you'll be great with this, too. Mom and Dad-" her voice cracked "-they'd be so proud of you, Ivy."
I didn't expect the tears that spilled down my cheeks as if they'd been longing to escape. I tried so hard not to openly grieve for our parents, both to be strong for Jasmine and to avoid the pain that buried me every time I allowed myself to dwell on their deaths. They had adopted me after I'd been left by a highway like so much trash. Raised me with the same love and devotion they'd shown to their biological daughter, and tried in every way to help me overcome a psychological affliction that turned out to be a supernatural destiny.