She followed him outside and they sat on the grass in the sunshine. A few dry leaves blew about in the breeze and a dark brown thrush playfully hopped among them.
‘I hope Cyril doesn’t catch me shirking off,’ she said.
‘I’m the boss’s son, I can do what I like and I want to talk to my future wife.’ His mouth curled up at one corner and something in Rita’s stomach fluttered with happiness. He took her hand in his and sandwiched it with his other hand. ‘I love you Rita and I don’t want anyone else but you. We’ve grown up together. We’re made for each other. I don’t need to tell you that.’ He studied her face for a long moment, eager not to offend her. ‘But I’m not ready to get married. I’m only twenty-three years old. The only life I’ve seen is from the cockpit of an aeroplane. I can’t settle down yet. I’m too young. You understand, don’t you? Part of me feels I’ve reached the pinnacle of my life. I’ll never be so challenged or have such purpose again, ever. The other part feels like I’ve been robbed of something. My youth, my innocence, I don’t know. It’s as if someone has taken me apart and put me back together all wrong.’ His voice was calm but there was an undertone of desperation which made her heart buckle with compassion.
‘I understand,’ she said, pulling his hand to her mouth and kissing it softly. ‘Darling George, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes. Go to Argentina, explore the world, stretch your wings and let the wind blow through your feathers.’
He settled his eyes on her face and his expression was so tender and full of affection that she caught her breath and blushed.
‘I don’t deserve you, Rita,’ he choked. ‘You’ve supported me with love and letters through years of war and now you’re willing to suspend your life a little longer. You’re one in a million.’ His words made her swell with pride. ‘When I come back we’ll marry at once and start a family. We’ll make beautiful children, you and I.’ She laughed lightly and let him draw her to him so that he could kiss her temple, close to her hairline.
‘Megagran has always threatened to lend me her wedding dress.’
He chuckled, content to indulge her female whim and discuss their wedding. ‘Surely you’d get ten of you into it.’
‘She claims she was slim when she was young, and a smasher too!’
‘I can’t envisage that, even with a long stretch of the imagination.’
‘I don’t mind what I wear on our wedding day. I just want to be your wife and make you happy. I feel so hopeless. I know you’re suffering but I’m ill-equipped to help you.’
‘No you’re not. Just being with you makes me feel better.’
‘I’m glad you came to see me last night, although I would like to have held you until morning,’ said Thadeus, stroking Faye’s hair. She rarely wore it down, but Thadeus insisted on it. Said she looked severe with it drawn into a chignon.
‘Me too. I’ve missed you,’ she replied.
‘Everything always seems so much worse at night. The light of the sun melts away one’s anxieties whereas the light of the moon simply magnifies them.’
She nuzzled against him. It was warm there in the garden. It wasn’t only Thadeus’ presence that filled her with tranquillity but the atmosphere of the garden itself. Shaped in an oval, it was surrounded by trees, rhododendron bushes and a tall yew hedge. A vibrant green paradise where Faye felt secure and detached from her own life. By virtue of being situated up a remote little lane there was no fear that their affair might be discovered by prying eyes or unwelcome visitors. Thadeus had no close friends. He was a big bear of a man. His hair was wild and grey, framing a long, weather-beaten face. He wore a soft beard, which retained some pale yellow tones – the only indication that he had once been flaxen – and thin round glasses. Faye loved to press her cheek to his beard and nestle against it. She had never kissed a bearded man before Thadeus.
‘How one worries about one’s children. It’s the curse of motherhood,’ she said and heaved a sigh.
‘You can only do your best. You bring them into the world then you set them free. George has to find his own way. Destiny is a river you cannot control. It sweeps them off, around rocks, down waterfalls, then into quiet, peaceful waters for a while. You cannot swim after them so you have to surrender yourself to the greater force and put your trust in God.’
‘But how will I cope without him?’
Thadeus pulled her close. ‘The same way you coped when he was flying those planes.’