White I see your point.
Black If he didnt know I was ready to listen he wouldnt of said a word.
White He’s an opportunist.
Black Meanin I guess that he seen somebody in a place low enough to where he ought to be ready to take a pretty big step.
White Something like that.
Black And you think that maybe I think that you might be in somethin like that kind of a place you own self.
White Could be.
Black Well I can dig that. I can dig it. Of course they is one small problem.
White And that is.
Black I aint God.
White I’m glad to hear you say that.
Black It come as a relief to me too.
White Did you used to think you were God?
Black No. I didnt. I didnt know what I was. But I thought I was in charge. I never knowed what that burden weighed till I put it down. That might of been the sweetest thing of all. To just hand over the keys.
White Let me ask you something.
Black Ask it.
White Why cant you people just accept it that some people dont even want to believe in God.
Black I accept that.
White You do?
Black Sure I do. Meanin that I believe it to be a fact. I’m lookin at it ever day. I better accept it.
White Then why cant you leave us alone?
Black To do your own thing.
White Yes.
Black Hangin from them steampipes and all.
White If that’s what we want to do, yes.
Black Cause he said not to. It’s in here. (Holding up the book)
The professor shakes his head.
Black I guess you dont want to be happy.
White Happy?
Black Yeah. What’s wrong with happy?
White God help us.
Black What. We done opened a can of worms here? What you got against bein happy?
White It’s contrary to the human condition.
Black. Well. It’s contrary to your condition. I got to agree with that.
White Happy. This is ridiculous.
Black Like they aint no such a thing.
White No.
Black Not for nobody.
White No.
Black Mm. How’d we get in such a fix as this?
White We were born in such a fix as this. Suffering and human destiny are the same thing. Each is a description of the other.
Black We aint talkin about sufferin. We talkin about bein happy.
White Well you cant be happy if you’re in pain.
Black Why not?
White You’re not making any sense.
The black falls back clutching his chest.
Black Oh them is some hard words from the professor. The preacher has fell back. He’s clutchin his heart. Eyes is rolled back in his head. Wait a minute. Wait a minute folks. His eyes is blinkin. I think he’s comin back. I think he’s comin back.
The black sits up and leans forward.
Black The point, Professor, is that if you didnt have no pain in your life then how would you even know you was happy? As compared to what?
White You dont have anything to drink around here do you?
Black No, Professor, I aint. You a drinkin man?
White Are we about to get a temperance lecture?
Black Not from me.
White It’s been a difficult day. I take it you dont drink.
Black I dont. I have done my share of it in my time.
White Are you in AA?
Black No. No AA. I just quit. I’ve had a lots of friends was drinkers. Most of em, for that matter. Most of em dead, too.
White From drinking.
Black Well. From drinkin or from reasons that dont get too far from drinkin. Not too long ago I had a friend to get run down by a taxicab. Now where do you reckon he was goin? Drunk.
White I dont know. Where was he going?
Black Goin after more whiskey. Had plenty at the house. But a drunk is always afraid of runnin out.
White Was he killed?
Black I hope so. We buried him.
White I suppose there’s a moral to this story.
Black Well, it’s just a story about what you want and what you get. Pain and happiness. I’ll tell you another one.
White All right.
Black One Sunday they’s a bunch of us settin around at my house drinkin. Sunday mornin. Favorite time for drunks to get together and drink and I’ll let you think about why that might be so. Well here come one of my buddies with this girl. Evelyn. And Evelyn was drunk when she got there but we fixed her a drink and directly Redge—my buddy—he goes back in the kitchen to get him a drink only now the bottle’s gone. Well, Redge has been around a few drinkin people in his time so he commences to hunt for the bottle. Looks in all the cabinets and behind everthing. He cant find it but of course he knows what’s happened to it so he comes back in and he sets down and he looks at Miss Evelyn settin there on the sofa. Drunk as a goat. And he says: Evelyn, where’s the whiskey? And Evelyn, she goes: Ah ghaga baba lala ghaga. And he says: Evelyn, where did you put the whiskey? Ah lala bloggle blabla. And Redge is settin there and this is beginnin to piss him off just a little and he gets in her face and he goes: Ah loddle loddle blabble ghaga blabla and she says I hid it in the toilet.