The Struggle(47)

She grinned. “I had to point that out, but Josie loves you. She’ll probably forgive you for leaving, but you can’t keep doing that. You understand that, right? You can’t, because eventually it’s not going to be okay. You can’t keep doing that to someone and not ruin them.”

Fuck.

Alex was right, though. I’d told myself once that I would be the kind of man Josie deserved, even when we didn’t have a future to speak of, but the first moment I felt out of control, I bailed on her. I did so to protect her, but I’d ended up doing the opposite.

The need for her, all that wanting, was endless, and it pounded through me relentlessly. There was no fighting it. I could leave a million times, but I would always come back. The truth of that would’ve swept my legs right out from under me if I wasn’t sitting already.

And now we could have a future. We could have forever, and I could be the man she so rightly deserved.

That is, if she would have me.

Because I had pushed her away on multiple occasions and a person could only take that so many times.

But I could be awfully convincing when I wanted to be.

Kissing both sides of her hand, I gently laid her arm back down. I didn’t answer Alex’s question, but I think she got it. I think she understood.

“Aiden said you killed Perses,” she said after a moment, changing the subject.

“He held her down while she screamed during the feedings. He was not going to survive that.”

“Understandable. I think you did the right thing, but I’m guessing there might be some kind of earthly repercussions involved.”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Were you pissed that we went to get her without you?”

She snorted. “A little. If something had happened, I would’ve had no idea.”

“Nothing would’ve happened,” I reassured her. “Not with me there.”

“Yeah, you don’t sound cocky at all.”

“It’s not cockiness. It’s the truth and—” I halted when Josie’s fingers moved restlessly at her side. Leaning forward, I held my breath and waited and hoped she’d open her eyes. When she inevitably didn’t, I slumped back in the chair. I sighed. “Where is your shadow?”

“He’s asleep.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him?” I paused. “Hint. Hint.”

“Ha. I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

My gaze found hers, and yeah, once again, it was weird, the two of us sitting here after everything we’d been through. That she would be here for me, with Aiden asleep and not hovering over her after what I had put her through—what I’d done to them.

Alex smiled.

And it hit me then, almost doubled me over, that Alex truly forgave me. She really had, and I didn’t know what to do with that forgiveness, how to process any of that. I cleared my throat.

Luckily there was another quiet knock on the door, so I didn’t have to figure out how to respond.

Alex popped up from the bench and went to the door, opening it. Karina stepped inside the bedroom as she nodded at Alex. “I’m sorry to interrupt, Kýrios, but it is time.”

Alex raised her brows at the word “Kýrios.”

I knew what she meant. “Later.”

“I’m sorry, Kýrios, but I do not think it would be wise to wait.” The high priestess looked pointedly at Josie.

“He needs to be here with Josie,” Alex said, folding her arms. Her eyes were narrowed in a way that said she was contemplating body-slamming Karina through a wall.

Exhaling roughly, I hated to do it, but Karina was right. Waiting wouldn’t end well, and I needed to be fully charged for whatever might come this way.

“Stay with her,” I said to Alex, rising tiredly. “Please.”

Alex snapped her mouth shut and nodded as she eyed Karina distrustfully. I was going to have to explain all of that. Eventually. Karina backed out of the room and waited. I followed, closing the door behind me.

~

Josie

Waking up was like fighting through quicksand laced with sleep aids. I knew I needed to open my eyes. I thought I heard Seth begging me to do so, but that was crazy, because Seth wasn’t here. I was in hell, waiting for Hyperion to bring me back to Cronus. Or was it Perses? Hadn’t I seen Perses? I couldn’t remember.

The cement floor felt . . . soft and warm.

I drew in a deep breath. The smell? I didn’t immediately choke on the dank, musty scent. A tremble coursed through my body, and I thought I heard people speaking, voices I recognized.

Kýrios?

Master?

I seriously needed to open my eyes. Calling on every ounce of strength I had, I forced my eyes open. Well, one eye open. The right one kind of only cracked open. It was nearly swollen shut. I wasn’t sure how that happened. The last time Hyperion had brought me out of that warehouse had been a blur. He’d fed on me before I was brought to Cronus, and they . . . it felt like they had taken too much.