The Struggle(42)

She flinched. “Seth—”

“When I came to, knowing that something was vastly different in me, feeling what I was feeling, I didn’t know what I was capable of. I left because I wanted to keep her safe, because I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt her.”

She tipped her head back, meeting my glare. “But now? Once you get her back, what are you going to do then?”

I stared at her a moment and then shook my head. I turned back to the ocean. “It’s late, Alex, and I suddenly find myself with a case of shut the fuck up.”

“I really would like to punch you right now.”

“Get in line,” I muttered.

She was quiet for all of five seconds. “I’m sorry. I really am. What you’re going through? I can’t even imagine it.”

Pressing my lips together, I said nothing, which worked out perfectly because when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Aiden standing in the archway.

“Hey.” He walked up to Alex, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He drew her to his side. “Why don’t you head to bed? I’ll join you in a little bit.”

Alex hesitated, because she rarely ever did what was asked or even suggested. So I nearly fell over when she said, “Okay.”

Obviously I wasn’t the only one calmer now.

After a quick kiss, Alex waved goodbye and slipped back into the archway. I saw that Basil was waiting in the wings and stepped out, immediately joining her. He was probably loving the fact that there were guests in the house.

“We picked the bedroom on the third floor, the one that faces the ocean,” Aiden said, coming to join me by the railing. “Is that okay?”

“Fine with me. There are only a thousand unused bedrooms in this place.”

“This is the home you grew up in?”

I nodded. “Until I was sent to the Covenant in England.”

“You have a temple in the backyard then?”

My lips kicked up on one side. “No. That appears to be a more recent addition.”

He crossed his arms on the railing and leaned against it. “This is a nice place though.”

Raising a brow, I wondered what the hell Aiden was doing out here. Things had changed between all of us. Yeah, I gave up my afterlife so he could have immortality. I obviously wasn’t gunning for Alex. We’d worked together a few times, but we did not like each other, and I knew that, deep down, Aiden hadn’t forgiven me for a lot of things. Couldn’t blame him for that. “Alex told me that you two wanted to keep me caged after what went down with Atlas.”

“Do you blame us?”

“Nah.” I watched him. “You have a reason for hanging around out here?”

“Maybe.”

“So why don’t you put your running shoes on and get to the point?”

Aiden laughed under his breath, but the faint smile disappeared when he looked over at me. “I know what you’re going through right now.”

“Do you really?”

“Yeah, I do.” His gaze was unwavering. “When she was connected to you, it was like she was lost to me. A totally different person. That was tough to get through, but it wasn’t the worst. When she was stabbed and actually died in my arms and there was nothing I could do? I held her and watched her bleed all over me and the floor.”

A muscle started tapping along my jaw again.

“Then when Alex faced off with Ares at the University, and I could hear every single thing he was doing to her but I couldn’t get in there to help her? I never felt more—more fucking helpless in my life. Every part of me was full of rage, but the terror consumed me when I finally entered that room and she was gone, taken to Olympus to heal. I was held immobile by that terror. And I don’t think I need to explain how I felt when Alex died in your arms and I thought I’d never see her again.”

I jerked a little.

“So, yeah, I get what you’re feeling. I know that every second feels like an hour and every hour feels like a year. I get that you feel like you should be doing something, anything to get her back, but at the same time knowing there isn’t anything you can do.” He exhaled heavily as he straightened. “I still don’t like you.”

I laughed at that.

“But I don’t wish what you’re going through on anyone,” he added, turning toward me. “We’re going to get her back.”

“I know.” And I would gladly burn down every city to get her back.

Aiden clapped me on my shoulder. “As soon as I hear anything from the Guards, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thank you.” The two words were easier to speak than before.

“Get some rest.” He stepped back. “Or at least try to.”