The Struggle(28)

“There is a lot of information that exists deep within you. All that the Apollyons who came before you have learned exists within you. That knowledge is what enabled you to awaken and become the God Killer.”

“I get that, but I wasn’t the first God Killer.”

“Alexandria was, but her fate had also been written, and her destiny was never meant to be yours.” Karina turned, resting small hands on the railing. “She was to destroy the god who sought to embroil the world in war and that was all. Because her creator, Apollo, still existed, he was able to stop her from becoming the true God Killer. She was always to become what she is today, a demigod.”

“And I was what? The enabler to it all?” Old anger resurfaced. “So, everything I’ve done, I was fated to do?”

“Yes. Everything you have done, you were supposed to do.”

Disbelief thundered through me. “No—no way. I can’t believe that. I did horrible things, and if you know me as well as you all claim you do, then you know what I’ve done.”

“I know what you’ve done.”

I stepped toward her, arms lowering to my sides. “You’re actually telling me that all of that shit was predestined and that I would become this . . . As what? A reward?”

“I wouldn’t consider it a reward.” She focused on the ocean. “But it was predestined. You were to be created by Ares and to be used to awaken the true Apollyon—Alexandria. You were destined, along with your friends, to release the Titan Perses, who would then free his brethren. Everything that has happened since then was fated. Even the death of—”

“Don’t say it,” I warned. “I do not want to hear how watching someone die was meant to be—happened because of my destiny.”

“Their destinies are only a small part of yours. What happened to them does not mean your fate is responsible.” She lowered her chin. “But everything has been leading up to this, to what you were always destined to be.”

“A god?” Derision dripped from my tone.

“Alexandria was meant to be the Apollyon and you were always meant for so much more.” She looked over at me. “That may be hard to accept, but accept you must.”

“You fucking sound like Yoda,” I muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.” I sighed, and refocused. “Has this ever happened before? A god randomly created?”

She patted the railing. “The Olympians were birthed by the Titans. The God Killer was created by the gods as an absolute measure against any one supreme being. When Alexandria awakened, she did so to end Ares’s rule before it could begin. When you were awakened, it was done so to usher in the new age.”

“The new age?” I laughed harshly. “What the hell does that even mean?”

She angled her slim body toward mine. “That everything we know is about to end, and a new era will begin.”

“Well, other than that sounding like a parade I can’t wait to see, it doesn’t really tell me anything.”

Karina smiled faintly. “That is not important right now. Josie is a part of your—”

“No,” I cut her off. “She is no longer a part of anything that has to do with me.”

“Why?” Her brows knitted together. “You fear yourself around her? That you will hurt her? Have you not realized anything? Feeding is—”

“I do not want to speak of her with you. That is the only warning I will give you.” My hands closed into fists. “What I do from here has nothing to do with her.”

“So your desire to seek vengeance against the Titans is driven by some other need?”

My eyes narrowed. “Careful.”

She raised a shoulder and then turned back to the ocean. “You are the first,” she said after a moment. “You are the only god to be risen, to be appointed with all the godly abilities. Do you know why the gods fear the God Killer so much? It is not just because you have the ability to kill them, but because you are absolute when only three others are. Zeus, Hera, and Cronus. They feared you, because they knew you could become them.”

“And what exactly does absolute mean?” I asked. I’d never understood why the gods had created the God Killer in the first place. Apollo had tried to explain it once before in the vaguest terms possible, claiming it was a checks and balance system. Ares had never explained either. It made no sense that they would create something that could ultimately destroy them.

Then again, the gods seemed to excel in bad life choices.

And mortals consistently created things that would lead to their ultimate destruction.