The Struggle(104)

Giggling, I shook my head. “You’re insane.”

“Insanely in love with you.” Gathering me against his front, he folded his arms around me. “Josie?”

Having no idea what he was about to say, I murmured, “What?”

Seth coasted his hand down my spine and then back up to the nape of my neck, where his fingers curled in a possessive, protective hold. A heartbeat passed and then he said, “Thank you.”





Chapter 31


Seth traced invisible patterns on my skin, a circle over my upper arm and what felt like a cross along the line of my shoulder, and other times it felt like he was playing tic-tac-toe with himself along my back.

We were lying on our sides, facing one another. Seth had pulled the blanket up to our waists. Well, he hadn’t used a hand to do so. The blanket sort of just moved on its own.

I really missed being able to do all those cool things, but I was trying not to think about the bands.

“So Alex knows?” he asked.

“Yeah. It was weird with her being there, but it was nice of her to be there for me.” I was busy circling my finger around his nipple. “I was really freaking out. Being pregnant isn’t something I . . . I planned on.”

“Really?” he teased.

Grinning, I lifted my gaze. His eyes were closed, and those impossibly long lashes fanned his cheeks. “I never even thought about wanting kids. It just wasn’t something I thought about.”

“I never thought about it either,” he admitted, his finger trailing up my arm. “Never seemed like an option.”

Up until he reached his god-hood or whatever you wanted to call it, Seth hadn’t had a future, so that made sense. I bit down on my lip as I studied the striking lines of his face.

Sometimes, as shallow as it sounded to admit, I got a little lost just looking at him. I could remember what I thought the first time I’d met him. His beauty had been so cold, almost unreal and untouchable. Not anymore. There was a warmth there, a softness that couldn’t be denied.

I flattened my hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat strongly. “I’m . . . I’m scared.”

His lashes lifted and his hand stilled on my arm. His gaze searched mine. “Josie . . . psychi mou.”

I loved it when he said that. My soul. That broke me in the very best ways every time. “I know it’s common, right? I mean, I guess most expecting . . . moms are. I just don’t know if I’m doing things right.” I glanced down at my belly, wishing I could talk to my mom or my grandmother. “That I’ll mess up. It’s just scary.”

“I’ll be here.” Seth cupped my cheek, drawing my gaze to his. “You’re not going to be alone in this.”

“I know.” A few moments of silence stretched out between us. “I’m surprised that I’m still pregnant after everything that happened. This baby . . .”

“This baby is a fighter. Can we be surprised?” A half-smile formed. “You’re a fighter.”

“So are you.” How could he not realize that?

“Both of us are,” he corrected, smoothing his thumb over my lower lip. “But I was born into a life where fighting was first nature. You were thrust into this. In a way, you’re stronger than most Sentinels.”

I wasn’t sure about that. I was scared witless by the fact I was pregnant. I had no idea what giving birth was going to be like, and I seriously doubted it would be a fun thing to go through. Raising a child, being responsible for a little being, was terrifying because I knew there was a good chance I’d drop it once or three times. And that’s not even acknowledging everything else going on.

But I liked that he said that, because his vote of confidence did help. “This kid is going to be . . . Man, what is this kid going to be?” I asked, curious. “A demigod? A god?”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out, and either way it will be all good.”

Drawing back, I stared at him. “How can you be . . . be so calm?”

“Calm?” His brows lifted. “I’m just better at hiding my panic.”

“You’re panicking?”

He slid his hand around the back of my neck. “I’m . . . I’m scared, too. Having a kid is seriously some uncharted territory. Everything . . . everything has changed, Josie.”

My breath caught. I had a feeling I knew what he meant.

“Today is nothing like yesterday,” he said, his gaze searching mine intently. “And later tonight, when we go to sleep, it will be nothing like last night. Everything that we do, every decision that we make going forward, will change because of this.”