The Stillness Of You(4)

"Yeah, so about the real estate agent. You're good?" Matt asked.

"I'm good. When I'm ready I've got a number."

Matt pushed back from the table and started to gather up some of the   take out containers. "I'd come with you, but I'm heading to the Cape   first thing in the morning for the Fourth of July long weekend. Heather   is already there."

Heather. Right. The girlfriend.

"I'll go with you, you know, if you want to look at the properties."   Georgia seemed surprised that she'd spoken and I didn't miss the sharp   look thrown her way by her brother. "I have no plans."

"You're not coming with me to the Cape?" Matt frowned.

"Hell no. Matt, I told you I wasn't interested in playing third wheel on   your weekend with Heather. I'm not going." She rose as well, her glass   in her hand as she faced her brother.

Matt looked hard assed. Intense. He looked like it was the final minutes of the third period and we were down by a goal.

His frown deepened.

Or maybe two.

I took another sip from my beer and watched the fireworks.

"But she's expecting you," he said carefully as if searching for the   right words. As if he didn't want to piss her off, which was something I   found interesting.

"No, she's dreading me and you know it. I don't fit inside the perfect   little world that Heather Newcastle lives in." She shoved her drink onto   the counter and folded her arms across her chest. "I'm staying here."

"But-"

"I'll be fine and look," she pointed at me. "I won't be alone either so   you don't have to worry. Besides," she said and this time those amazing   eyes were on me.

Fuck. There went the cock again and I winced. Big twitch.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea for her to stay. Maybe I wasn't strong enough to resist the pull of those eyes.

"If I don't help Ben find a place to stay, you'll never get your office back. It will be like LeBlanc all over again."

What the hell? I was nothing like Trevor LeBlanc.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked those eyes.

"Trevor stayed with Matt a few years ago when he was new to the Flyers.   He was supposed to find his own place too but he ended up here for   months. The guy was a slob and a whore and he drove Matt crazy." She   grinned. "Not that I'm insinuating you're a slob."                       
       
           



       

"Good to know." Damn, I liked this girl. "Though I should point out I'm not a whore either."

"I don't think it's a good idea," Matt muttered.

Okay, what was up with the guy? I got the protective brother thing, but wasn't he carrying it a little too far?

"It's a done deal. I'm not going and unless you want to unleash   Heather's nasty side I suggest you pack your bag and make sure you're on   the road as early as possible because we both know her crazy is nearly   as bad as mine."

"Georgia. I just … " Matt looked like he wanted to say a hell of a lot   more than those three words and for the first time I felt as if I was   stepping into some family business that I had no desire or need to step   into.

"So, Ben," she said casually as she rinsed her glass out and tossed it   into the dishwasher. "Get your list ready and we'll head out tomorrow   morning. Sound good?"

"Sure," I answered slowly, for the first time thinking that maybe this   wasn't such a good idea. You know, with Matt glaring at me. His eyes   saying what his mouth was unable to.

You touch her and you're dead.

"I've got nothing but time."





Chapter Four





Georgia





I was awake long before my brother was, though I pretended I had just   woken up when he poked his head into my room. It was dark out, just   after four in the morning and he would be leaving for the Cape soon.

"Hey," he said moving toward my bed.

"Hey, yourself," I answered propping myself against the headboard as we studied each other in the dim glow from my nightlight.

"So, I guess I'm heading out in a few."

"I see that."

Matt was silent for a few moments and I knew I was going to have to help   him out. He had always been a guy who wore his heart on his sleeve.   It's one of the things I loved the most about my brother and I knew he   was worried. If he had known that I had laid in bed for the past three   hours, wide awake, struggling to hold on to my racing mind, he would   have freaked. He would have torn my room apart looking for the klonopin,   and he would have shoved that shit down my throat before you could  even  say klonopin.

There would be a big scene and he certainly wouldn't be leaving for the   Cape without me. And that wasn't acceptable. I'd already cost him so   much and he needed time with Heather. Quality time. God, the guy hadn't   been laid since I had moved in with him because his girlfriend stopped   visiting from Manhattan and he was too protective to leave me on my  own.

It had to stop.

"Matt, I'm good. Really. You don't need to worry about me."

His light eyes were so expressive and I saw the worry though he said   nothing. He was thinking that I wasn't ready to be left alone. That he   couldn't trust me to be left alone.

He was thinking of that night almost nine months ago. The night when   he'd been called away from a game in Chicago because his baby sister had   been found wandering the campus of her Liberal Arts College in upstate   New York, half naked, ranting like a crazy person and threatening to   kill herself.

I saw that night reflected in his eyes and it brought tears to my own.   It took a moment for me to push back the emotion. I thought of my run.   Of how I would throw on my Nikes and put one foot in front of the other   for five miles.

I thought of how tired I'd feel physically and of how empty my mind   would be. Some mornings it was the only thing that got me out of bed.

Slowly, I swung my legs across the mattress until they dangled inches   from the hardwood floor and propped my hands along the edge. "Matt," I   said softly. "I feel good. I feel … settled you know? The pieces inside   me, the ones that used to move so fast I was never able to catch my   breath, well, they're not moving anymore."

That was a lie, but at least they weren't moving as fast and for me that was a win.

God, it was so hard to describe what I was feeling. What I used to feel   before. Before Oak Run. Before the diagnosis. Before the pills inside  my  dresser drawer helped to make everything better. Clearer.

"Seamus said it would be good for me to have some alone time."

He wasn't buying it. "You're alone when I'm at work."

"True, but that's not what he meant and you know it. I've been here for   three months Matt. The time for baby steps are over. I need this."

"G, I don't know."

"Matt, you need to drive to the Cape and you need to have lots of hot, horny sex with your girlfriend."

He made a face.

"It's true. If you don't fuck her this weekend she's going to give up on you and find someone else to give her orgasms."                       
       
           



       

Of course I would be fine with that, but for whatever reason Matt liked   Heather, and he had liked Heather Newcastle for nearly two years now.   Though, my train of thought was that if he was serious about her she'd   be sporting a diamond on her ring finger and she wasn't.

Thank God.

I saw him waver so I jumped up and hugged him. "I'll show Ben around and   help him find a place, okay? And you'll be back, what … " I stepped  back,  a gentle smile on my lips. "On Monday? We'll be good. I'll be  good, I  promise. And Ben, well, he's not some serial killer or  anything, is he?"

"No, but he is the future of the Flyers so, G, I really need you to be careful, okay?"

"I can handle Ben Lancaster."

"It's not you I'm worried about."

"Seriously, Matt. I'm not crazy Georgia anymore. You don't need to worry."

Matt grabbed me close once more. "Alright. I've got my cell and I'll have my laptop with me, so if you need to talk, just … "

"Yeah, yeah." I pulled away. "I'll call you."

Matt strode toward the door but paused before leaving. "G," he said softly. "I love you."

"I know."

And then he was gone.

I stared at my rumpled bed and then crossed to the window so I could   look down into the empty streets below. Matt's loft was the entire top   floor of one of the oldest buildings in Old City and it cost a fortune.   It definitely wasn't something he would be able to afford working for   the Flyers as an assistant coach, but our parents had been loaded-old   family money from my mother's side-and when they had died three years   ago, their fortune was passed to us.