Today had been awful. The worst. I tried not to think about Ben and his friends and a bunch of random girls at his place, mostly because I knew what those girls were like. I'd seen carbon copies of them in action and I knew exactly what they wanted. And I also knew that most of the time they got it. What guy was going to turn down sex with a Barbie doll?
But Ben was here. In my bed. His body warm and hard and feeling so much like home that I ached.
"Hey." His voice was husky and coated in sleep.
I traced his jaw, loving the shadow of stubble beneath my fingers and when he opened his mouth to say something else, I couldn't help it. I needed him. I needed to feel him. To touch him. To taste him.
I slid my lips against his and my heart rate shot up when he groaned and sank his hands into my hair. His mouth opened beneath mine, hot and wet and aggressive. He tasted like heaven and he felt so good that I let the sensations of need and want roll over me. I welcomed the familiar pangs of desire that erupted between my legs and sat low in my belly.
My nipples were hard, my breasts ached, and when his tongue slid into my mouth-when he licked and suckled on my bottom lip as if he was starving-I lost it. I fell down into the chasm that was Ben Lancaster and I don't think I cared if I ever made it back out.
We kissed forever it seemed, as if we were feeding on each other's soul and when we finally came up for air we were both breathing heavy.
His hands were still tangled in my hair and Ben tilted my head back slightly, tracing a line of fire down my neck where he kissed me so tenderly it brought tears to my eyes.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"You don't have to apologize." His hands now cupped my face and he moved so that we were nose to nose, his dark eyes intense as he stared at me. "I love you, Georgia. You don't have to apologize. I was a dick. A fucking dick. I should have been more sensitive I mean, God, your parents and … I had no idea. I'm the one who's sorry." He traced my mouth with his thumb and I leaned into him. "I fucking love you."
Holy shit he said the L word!
His breath was ragged. "I don't know if that freaks you out more or if I should keep that shit to myself but I can't fucking live without you. I can't. I-"
Something hard burst inside my chest. Something bright and hopeful. I silenced him again, my mouth on him as if he was my lifeline. I kissed him, worshipped him, and pushed him until he was forced to roll onto his back.
Our tongues danced together, his hands in my hair, mine cupping his jaw to hold him in place because I could not break this connection. He was everything to me. He was my lover. My friend. My life.
I broke the kiss because I had to explain this to him. I had to make sure he understood the depths of what I was feeling. Because I was so afraid. So afraid that once he knew the real me his feelings would change.
I straddled his hips and shifted a bit, closing my eyes when he groaned. He wore a thin T-shirt and his black board shorts that he swam in. I felt his erection burn between my legs and I knew how affected he was. "Ben," I said softly. "There's so much you don't know … about me and I-"
"Do you love me?" He interrupted and sat up, settling his hands onto my hips.
I couldn't escape his eyes. And I couldn't lie anymore.
I nodded and barely whispered. "Yes."
"Say it."
"I. Love. You." I said each word slowly, savoring them on my tongue. They were words I'd never said to anyone other than family. Never. Not once.
"Good," he said as a slow, wicked grin crept over his face. "That makes us even." He paused. "Now take your top off."
The dynamics changed in an instant.
"You first."
He yanked his shirt over his head and then did the same to mine. I wasn't wearing a bra and his tongue flicked over my nipples, as his hands worked their way into my sleep shorts.
"Fuck, you're wet," he growled against my chest as I leaned into him and gyrated my hips. His fingers were already there, inside me, stroking and setting off all kinds of chaotic things.
"Only for you," I whispered hoarsely, hissing as he hit that sweet spot, the pad of his long finger stroking me into an orgasm within seconds. That's what Ben Lancaster did to me.
I shuddered against him, moaning as he continued to suckle my breasts, pulling and tugging-each suck tearing through me and hitting me in that sweet spot all over again.
I managed to get my shit together and stood up, which was a freaking miracle considering we were in the middle of my bed and my knees were so shaky I'm surprised I didn't fall over the edge onto the floor.
I stared down at him, at his hard, muscled, perfect body. At the delicious tattoo on his bicep, the defined abs, the thin line of hair beneath his navel that pointed toward the incredible bulge between his legs. His hair was an erotic mess, his eyes glittered and the sound he made-a half growl that had Tarzan written all over it-was just about enough to drive me over the edge.
He was mine. This guy who was everything any girl could ever want was mine and suddenly I didn't care about anything else except him. I didn't want to give him up.
For a moment that thought stunned me. "I love you," I said again in wonder.
His wicked grin was enough to blow the pants off a goddamn Nun. "Then show me."
Game on.
I took a moment, drawing it out until he was so tense the veins in the sides of his neck stood out. I rubbed my nipples, smiling when he groaned.
"Peaches, you're fucking killing me."
And then slowly made my way down to the waistband of my shorts. I nudged him with my toe, running it along his upper thigh before pressing my foot onto his erection. "You first."
I moved my foot, biting my bottom lip when he shifted, his eyes never leaving mine, as he slipped out of his shorts. He moved a bit so that his back rested against the headboard and all six foot four inches of his delicious, hard and naked body was there for me.
Carefully I slid off my shorts until I stood, naked, my legs open so he could see how aroused I was.
He didn't take his eyes off my crotch, though he beckoned me closer and when I spread my legs so that I stood over him, he grabbed my hips and brought me to his mouth. I think I might have screamed when he kissed me, right there where I ached for him.
I know I did when he suckled and stroked and licked his way over every inch of me and then did it again. And again.
I was a mess when he was done and if not for his hands on my hips, I would have fallen. "This is mine," he said against my thigh, and god help but I ate that macho shit up. Yes. You can have it. All of it. Whenever the hell you want it.
Slowly I slid down his body, our eyes meeting. Locking.
And when I positioned myself and sank onto him we both groaned because it felt that good.
For a moment neither one of us moved. We stared into each other's eyes, our bodies connected, our hearts connected on a level that I'd never felt before with anyone. This was the real deal. This was love.
This is love, I thought.
"Shit," he whispered hoarsely. "You feel good … so good."
I moved up on him and slowly slid back down. "Uh huh."
He froze for a second. "Georgia, we didn't … ahhh."
I gyrated my hips and began to pump slowly but his hands stopped me. "Georgia we didn't use anything. I'm clean but … "
I kissed Ben, silencing his words as I continued to slowly fuck my boyfriend with every ounce of finesse that I'd ever acquired. When I dragged myself up for air I leaned against him. "It's okay. I'm on the pill and I, well I've never had an STD or anything."
"Sweet fucking Jesus, you've just made me the happiest guy on the planet because, Peaches, you feel incredible. This is a whole new level of hotness."
I held his face between my hands and stared into his eyes. "I've never had sex without a condom. Ever. I've never let a guy … "
He ate the rest of my words with the most amazing, toe curling kiss and I began to move again, slowly at first and then as our needs increased-as his breathing hitched and his heart pounded against the palm of my hands-my tempo matched. There were no more words. There were only emotions. Raw and true. There were eyes drinking each other in. Hands caressing and touching. There was desperation, ecstasy and release.
And for that one perfect moment in time I believed that maybe all of those things would be enough. This connection. This new love that we'd found together.