My tears start to fall. I'm eighteen and I'll be losing part of the thing that makes me feel like a woman. No woman of any age should ever have to go through this. I should be focused on going to Hudson, not dealing with the very likeliness that I'll develop cancer without this procedure.
I roll over, snuggling into Dane's embrace, and hide my tears against his tux that I'm most likely going to ruin. He holds me closer and kisses my head, doing all he can to soothe me.
"What sort of surgeries?" I hear Maverick ask, sounding as though he's as scared as I am.
Eleanor lets out a harsh, pained breath as she chokes back a sob. "A preventative mastectomy. Then we'll have to start getting her reconstructive surgeries. There will be several before she's restored completely—or as best as can be."
I shudder as more tears fall out. I'm scared. Scared of what might happen even after the surgery. Scared of letting them cut me to pieces. And scared no one will ever look at me the same again. It's a daunting future for anyone.
"I'll call my dad. She'll look the exact same," Dale says, making a rustling sound as he most likely stands.
"I already called him," Dane says while strumming his fingers through my hair. "Of course he's going to do it."
I turn back to see Eleanor smiling softly. Dale's father is the most prestigious plastic surgeon in the country, and to even get on the waiting list you have to have a reference.
"Yes. Those are some of the dates I was going to give everyone. Dr. Sterling called me today to tell me he'd be taking care of the reconstruction just as soon as the mastectomy was taken care of."
"I'll call my dad," Corbin says, referring to the man who owns Sterling Shore Memorial Hospital. "I'll make sure she's set up with the best doctors and nurses, and even make sure she gets one of those badass maternity suites instead of a regular room for recovery after the mastectomy."
I smile lightly as Corbin comes over to kiss my hand. Then he walks out of the room, pulling his phone out of his pocket before he even crosses the threshold.
"Tell me something to do, and I'll do it," Kode says, leaning forward to stroke my cheek.
If I wasn't already crying, I'd start. These boys are better than any brothers I could have ever dreamt of.
"It's not until after school," I murmur softly, looking to Eleanor. "Right?"
"Yes. It'll be the week you all come back from Cancun."
At least I get my summer vacation before my life starts to become real. Dane smiles against my forehead, piquing my curiosity.
"I'm going to make sure you have such a good week that you forget about the surgery," he murmurs softly, making the butterflies ruffle in my stomach.
Empowered by the reality of how short life can be, I start plotting something I never thought I'd have the guts to try.
***
Cancun
"You're sure about this?" Dane asks, kissing my neck as my body arches under him, moving to find his touch.
I've never been more certain about anything in my life. I've spent a week in paradise, and I want to leave with the best memories possible before my whole life changes. The surgeries, college, moving to New York, being stranded from my best friends... It's all happening so fast.
"You're the only person I trust with this," I say softly, doing well not to scream out my love for him.
His shaky breaths find my chin as his lips just barely brush mine, teasing me, and making me want more.
"We can wait," he says with a tremble, possibly trying to back out now that he's had a minute to really think about this.
"No," I whisper, pulling him closer as the party below us rages on, the sound carrying through the open balcony door. "I want this before I go... before I..."
My words trail off. I can't say it. Instead, I pull his hand up, drawing every bit of courage I have, and then I put it over my right breast. His breath hitches in his throat, and he stays frozen against me. I'm sure I'm making this awkward, considering how completely inexperienced I am, but I can't do this with anyone else.
It's really hard not to let some sound of pleasure escape. Dane Sterling is touching me.
"I won't be able... the feeling will be different, almost numb," I mumble, blushing from embarrassment. "I want to be able to feel someone's touch—just to know what it would have been like. I get it if you don't want to do this with me because—"
My words are cut off when his lips rush mine, surprising me with the breathtaking kiss I wasn't anywhere close to being prepared for. Even my fantasies suddenly pale in comparison.
As his tongue sweeps between my lips, I let out a girly moan, trembling as he presses himself against me to let me feel how much he's actually enjoying this. This is real.