combining rapidity and selectivity, usually with
something added to the signal and almost always
with something missed out, means that what passes
for truth often has to travel at the speed of failing
memories, changing attitudes and new
generations.Even when this form of handicap is
recognized all they ever try to do, as a rule, is
codify it, manipulate it, tidy it up.Their attempts to
filter become part of the noise, and they seem
unable to bring any more thought to bear on the
matter than that which leads them to try and
simplify what can only be understood by coming to
terms with its complexity.'
'Uh right,' I said, still trying to work out exactly
what the ship was talking about.
'Hmm,' the ship said.
When the ship says 'Hmm', it's stalling.The beast
takes no appreciable time to think, and if it
pretends it does then it must be waiting for you to
say something to it.I out-foxed it though; I said
nothing.
But, looking back at what we were talking about,
and what we each said we thought, and trying to
imagine what it was really about, I do believe that
it was then it decided to use me as it did.That
'Hmm' marked a decision that meant I was
involved the way I was in the Linter affair, and that
was what the ship was really worried about; that
which, all evening, during the meal and afterwards,
slipping in the odd remark, the occasional
question, the ship was really asking me about.But I
didn't know that at the time.I was just sleepy and
full and contented and warm and lying there talking
to thin air, while the remote drone sat on the arm of
the couch and talked to me.
'Yes,' sighed the ship at last, 'for all our data and
sophistication and analyses and statistically
correct generalizations, these things remain
singular and uncertain.'
'Aw,' I tutted, 'it's a hard life being a GCU.Poor
ship, poor Papageno.'
'You may mock, my little chick,' the ship said with
a sort of fakedly hurt sniffiness, 'but the final
responsibility remains mine.'
'Ah, you're an old fraud, machine.' I grinned over at
the drone. 'You'll get no sympathy out of me.You
know what I think; I've told you.'
'You don't think we'd spoil the place?You
seriously think they're ready for us?For what we'd
do to them even with the best of intentions?'
' Ready for it?What does that matter?What does it even mean ?Of course they aren't ready for it, of
course we'll spoil the place.Are they any more
ready for World War Three?You seriously think
we could mess the place up more than they're
doing at the moment?When they're not actually out
slaughtering each other they're inventing ingenious
new ways to massacre each other more efficiently
in the future, and when they're not doing that
they're committing speciescide, from the Amazon
to Borneo or filling the seas with shit, or the air, or
the land.They could hardly make a better job of
vandalizing their own planet if we gave them
lessons.'
'But you still like them, I mean as people, the way
they are.'
'No, you like them the way they are,' I told the ship, pointing at the remote drone.They appeal to your
sense of untidiness.You think I haven't been
listening all the times you've gone on about how
we're infecting the whole galaxy with sterility isn't
that the phrase?'
'I may have used that form of words,' the ship
agreed vaguely, 'but don't you think -'
'Oh, I can't be bothered thinking now,' I said,
levering myself off the couch.I stood up, yawning
and stretching. 'Where's the gang gone?'
'Your companions are about to watch an amusing
film I found on-planet.'
'Fine,' I said. 'I'll watch it too.Which way?'
The remote drone floated up from the couch arm.
'Follow me.' I left the alcove where we'd
eaten.The drone turned round as it meandered
through curtains and around chairs, tables and
plants.It looked back at me. 'You don't want to talk
to me?I only want to explain -'
'Tell you what, ship.You wait here and I'll hit dirt
and find you a priest and you can unburden
yourself to him.The Arbitrary goes to
confession.Definitely an idea whose time has
come.' I waved at some people I hadn't seen for a
while, and kicked some cushions out of my way.
'You could tidy this place up a bit, too.'
'Your wish' the remote drone sighed and stopped to
supervise the cushions, which were dutifully
rearranging themselves.I stepped down into a
darkened, sound-shrouded area where people were
sitting or lying in front of a 2D screen.The film
was just starting.It was science fiction, of all
things; called Dark Star. Just before I stepped
through the soundfield I heard the remote drone
behind me sigh to itself again. 'Ah, it's true what
they say; April is the cruellest month'
2.3:Unwitting Accomplice
It was about a week later, when I was due to go