"I love you, Charlie, more than anything." His words burrowed into my heart and put some of the broken pieces back together. He leaned up and captured my lips in a kiss. I let him kiss me and when he pulled away, I pressed my forehead against his.
"I couldn't love you more, Asher." He kissed me again, but this time as he kissed me he pulled me against him and he moved to a sitting position, leaning against his headboard. With my knees on the bedspread, I raised up and angled him at my opening.
"I've been on birth control for a while, Asher, and I trust you. Do we need a condom?"
"No." he whispered and that was all I needed to hear before I sank down over him.
My head fell back as he entered me. He filled me entirely, completed me in a way no one had before. I stretched and pulsed around him, my hands gripping his shoulders.
"Damn, you feel good," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"Mmmm. The feeling's mutual," I said with a smile. I took just a few moments to appreciate how full I felt. Asher was the only one who gave me this sensation, the only one who fit me this way. Once I was satisfied and ready to move, I slowly brought my body up and down his shaft, letting him feel all of me. He watched me as I slowly rode him, speeding up fractionally with every slide. I tried hard to make him feel good, but got lost in the sensation myself, and felt my eyes closing.
Suddenly, I felt Asher's hand clasp around my loose hair, gathering it behind my back, tugging, and urging my head back. His other hand gripped my hip, holding me to him firmly. He quickly maneuvered so that his feet were under him, his knees resting on the bed, and me still firmly impaled by him, my legs wrapped around his waist. His grip on my hair hardened and I yelped as he thrust into me. One hard thrust and my mind scattered. His mouth came to rest between my breasts and he grunted as he gave another powerful thrust.
"Just so we're clear," he said between thrusts. "You're mine now. Forever." Thrust. "No one but me will ever touch you like this again. Understood?"
"Yes. I understand. Just please, don't stop."
"Not on your life," he said with a smirk. He picked up speed and tapped into some endless supply of energy as his thrusts became steady and stronger. Every time he pounded into me, I lost a little bit more control, my cries became louder, the sound of our flesh slapping together brought me closer.
Suddenly he stopped and I must have looked like a child who just had their candy stolen because he laughed and soothingly ran his hand down the length of my hair.
"Don't worry, Babe. I'm not nearly finished with you yet." He kissed me quickly and then laid my back down on the bed. He stretched my legs so that my heels rested against his shoulders. I let out a soft moan, the stretching of my muscles felt so delectable after being in that position for so long. He rubbed my calves, seeming to know what I needed.
Slowly, as he kneaded my muscles, he began to move in and out of me. Our position allowed such a deep penetration that every time he entered me, he nudged against a wall and it felt divine. The tip of his cock rubbed gloriously along the inside of me, causing all kinds of synapses to fire simultaneously and after a few minutes I wasn't sure I could take much more of his particular torture.
"I'm almost there, Asher. Please … don't stop."
"Do you love me?" He questioned. It caught me off guard and my eyes opened to him staring at me, siding slowly and purposefully in and out of me. His eyes were full of lust, but something else was hiding in them as well. "Will you leave me when this is over?" His vulnerability showed, and my heart broke a little.
"I never left you. I was with you all along. Of course I love you." He collapsed onto me, closing his fingers around my hair, his face buried in my neck, and he brought us both to the edge. He came first and I followed quickly after, spurred on by the sound of him whispering "Bit" sweetly into my ear as he emptied himself into me.
Chapter Fifteen
Charlie
The next morning as we woke I was greeted by the brilliant smile of the man I never thought I'd get to love again – the man who held my heart for so many years, but that I was too afraid to give myself over to, or allow myself to have. We spent the night exploring each other, laughing, talking, napping, and cuddling. When the sun broke through his curtains, I knew it was time to leave, the light from the day making everything a little more real.
"What time is your flight?" He asked, as he brought the back of my hand to his lips to kiss.
"Noon."
He groaned and I shared his misery. It was too soon for us to be apart; we'd just found each other again. On the other hand, the responsible and rational part of my brain was trying to convince me that jumping into a fully-committed relationship with Asher wasn't a great idea. Obviously, I loved him and wanted to be with him, but for the longest time I hadn't really been in control of my life and now was the time for me to take the reins. I wanted him to be there for me, to support me the way someone who loves you should, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could stand on my own two feet.
"Can I drive you to the airport?"
I gave him a smile that I hoped showed how happy I was to be with him in that moment. "I'd love that."
It was a few hours later and we walked from the parking garage at the airport up to the departure terminal. My hand was clasped in Asher's and every time I thought about holding his hand it made my heart race a little faster. So much happened in just the last twenty-four hours that my head was still a little off kilter from it all. I checked my bags, got my boarding pass, and we headed towards security.
"Will you keep an eye on my dad's house for me? Make sure no squatters get in there and set up camp?"
"Of course. Do you think you're going to sell it?"
I sighed heavily. "Yeah, probably. But I'm just not ready yet. Maybe in a couple months. Plus," I said as I turned to him and ran my hands up his chest. "I was thinking I needed a place to stay if I was going to be coming back to visit Willow Falls." I felt him wrap his arms around me, his hands coming to rest on my backside, giving a gentle squeeze as a smile spread across his face.
"So you'll be back then? I don't have to worry about you running away and leaving me here, angry and confused?"
I reached up on my tip-toes and pressed a kiss against his lips. "I want to be with you, Asher, only you. But I've got to figure out my life right now. I'm going to go back to New York, get my art show behind me, and see what feels right after that."
"This feels right," he said, pushing his fingers through my hair, cupping his hand behind my head, pressing our foreheads together.
"It always has," I responded softly.
"So we're just going to trust each other and trust that everything will be ok in the end?"
"That and work at being better for each other than we have in the past." I paused, closing my eyes. I opened them again to see his slate gray eyes staring back at me. "We've both made mistakes and I still need to work on letting go of some things. I want to be whole for you, if that makes sense."
"So, this isn't a goodbye then?"
I shook my head and smiled shyly.
"Good," he said, returning the smile. "I hate goodbye kisses." His arms snaked around my waist and picked me up off the ground, bringing my lips up to meet his, and he kissed me as if he missed me for years. And I kissed him right back.
A few hours had passed, the plane ride boring and a little bumpy. After landing, I made my way to a hotel near the gallery where my show would be taking place the next weekend. The city looked different to me. The buildings taller, the crowds on the street louder, the pace of life seemed to be in fast forward. I'd always felt a little out of place in the city, but I chalked it up to just being out of place in life. I hadn't felt like I fit in anywhere, so it made sense that the city was a stranger to me.
But now, I didn't feel out of place so much as I felt like a visitor, an imposter. Any minute someone would look at me hauling my suitcase behind me and tell me to go back to where I came from. The feeling was unnerving, but also a relief. It was the first time I had any strong feelings about where I belonged – or didn't belong. It was a small step in the right direction. For the next week, I had a job to do. I had to make it through the art show and then I'd be free to make the decisions that were best for me.