"I'm not worried about it," he said confidently.
Mildly offended, I scoffed at him.
"Not worried about it? Well, fine then. Me either." I leaned down to grab my bags and felt him put his hand out and grab my arm.
"Babe, I only meant that there is no way I'm letting anything keep me from holding you at night. Our parents will understand. We're adults now." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"I think you are overestimating our parent's ability to see us anything other than their children. But if you're willing to give it a try, let me know what your parents say about me sleeping over at your house." I smiled at him snidely, knowing if anything it would be his mom who would be opposed to our hopeful sleeping arrangement. I was just like a daughter to her and she would definitely have a problem with me sleeping over at a guy's house, even if it was her own son.
"I'll figure it out, Bit. Don't worry."
"Ok, whatever you say. Tell your parents I say hi. And call me." I leaned into his window again to give him a kiss and felt his hand wrap around the back of my neck, holding me to him. He took the kiss deeper than I had intended, but I was enjoying it too much to complain. His mouth captured mine, my bottom lip being tugged on by his teeth. I was immediately angry at the metal door between us and needed more contact. I moaned in frustration and he immediately pulled away.
"That should hold you over until later," he said with a wink. I snarled at him and grabbed my bags. I walked around the front of his car and heard him yell out his window, "Love you, Babe." I turned towards him and stuck my tongue out at him. That'll teach him.
When I walked in the house I was greeted not only by the smell of cookies baking, but also by the sight of a woman in my dad's kitchen. I dropped my bags on the floor and watched as the woman jumped at the loud noise they made as they clattered against the travertine floor. She spun around, her hand clenched to her chest. She looked absolutely petrified and I'm sure I looked pretty pissed.
"Who are you?" I asked, and not too politely. I watched her remove the surprise from her face and plaster a smile on. She moved around the kitchen island, wiping her hands on the apron around her waist. The same apron I use to watch my mother wipe her hands on.
"Hi, you must be Charlie. My name is Angie." She held her hand out to me, waiting for me to shake it. I didn't even look down at it.
"What are you doing in my kitchen?" I said harshly, not even pretending to move to shake her outstretched hand. She took the hint and moved her fingers through her shoulder-length brown hair.
"I needed some parmesan cheese for dinner and your father was out. He ran to the store real quick. We thought we had enough time before you got home." She paused and let out a deep breath. "This must be surprising for you to come home and see a strange woman in your kitchen. I apologize. We didn't want it to happen this way, your father and I."
"That's my mom's apron." That's all I said to her before I turned and walked to my bedroom. I slammed the door when I got inside and immediately started pacing the floor. My heart pumped, adrenaline flowing through my veins. It took all of forty-five seconds before my anger turned into an aching hurt. I'd never felt anything like the pressure that was building in my chest. Something inside of me was expanding at such a rapid pace, surely I would explode any moment. And I did.
I collapsed on my bed, not even trying to control the sobs that were breaking free from my mouth. My legs involuntarily curled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my knees. I was as small as I could be, trying to disintegrate all together. I didn't want to be in a place where my mother's things were being used by another woman. I wasn't ready for any of this. I don't know how long I cried, but eventually I heard my door creak open.
"Charlie Bear," I heard my dad's voice at roughly the same time I feel his big, warm hand on my back.
"I'm so sorry, Charlie. I'm so sorry."
"Who is she?" I asked, even though I already know the answer.
"That's Angie," he said quietly. He paused and then continued with, "she's my girlfriend." Knowing the words he was going to say before he said them didn't make them hurt any less. His admission was like throwing lighter fluid on a bonfire. My cries were just exacerbated. He didn't tell me to stop. He didn't try to reason with me. He just kept rubbing my back in slow and steady circles. Every once in a while his hand would travel up to my shoulder and he would give it a gentle squeeze. I knew he would sit next to me until I calmed down, so I didn't hurry myself along. I wanted to feel all of it, for my mom.
Eventually, though, the tears stopped and my breathing returned to normal. I turned my head to look at my father and was surprised and ashamed to see tears on his face as well. I didn't even notice he was crying. I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Don't cry, Dad. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you. I just wasn't prepared for any of this."
"Trust me, I didn't want you to find out this way." He paused and squeezed me a little tighter. "I thought you'd come home and I could introduce you properly. I thought we'd all sit around and eat dinner and you'd see how wonderful Angie is." I felt his hand smooth over my hair. "Please don't let this get in the way of getting to know her, Charlie. She's a wonderful woman."
I pulled away from him and wiped my tears from my face. The longer we sat here and talked about the woman who I assumed was in the other room, the sillier I began to feel about the whole scenario.
"Dad, stop. I am sure she's amazing. I can't imagine you spending time with anyone who wasn't. Honestly," I said through a sniffle, still trying to hold back the cries that are trying to take over. "I'm not upset that you're dating. I knew that would happen. I just didn't expect..." Another sob broke free and I let it come, crying into my hands. "I didn't expect to see a woman standing in our house wearing mom's apron."
"Oh, Baby," he said as he pulled me into him. I snuggled into his chest, trying to keep the crying at bay. "No one is ever going to take your mother's place. Not in your life and not in my heart. I love your mother and I always will. I am sorry that what you saw upset you and I can totally understand why. So will Angie when we explain it to her. Everything you're feeling is valid, Charlie Bear. It's ok." I took a few deep breaths and they sounded shaky even to me.
"How do you always know the right thing to say, Dad?"
"I generally just try to speak the truth."
"Well, it worked. Thank you. I am sorry I got so upset." He opened his mouth to argue with me but I put my hand up to stop him. "I know what you're going to say, Dad. I'm not apologizing for how I feel, I'm apologizing for how I acted. She didn't deserve that." He looked down at me and I saw the corners of his mouth turn up just a little.
"Charlie, I am so proud to be your dad." At that, we both smiled at each other.
"Good. Now give me five minutes to get myself under control and I would love to come and meet your girlfriend." He leaned down and kissed my temple.
"We will be in the kitchen when you're ready." I watched him stand up and walk out of my bedroom. I took a few more breaths, just making sure I really was in control of myself. I went to the bathroom, splashed some cool water on my face, and fixed the makeup that had been ruined by the epic breakdown I'd just endured. When I felt put back together and not on the verge of another emotional upheaval, I started towards the kitchen. My dad and Angie sat at the dining table, both had mugs in front of them, and Dad's arm rested on the back of her chair. With my head held high and a genuine smile on my face, I walked over to the table.
"Hi, Angie." I held my hand out to her, hoping she would take it. She reached out tentatively, but returned my smile. "I am sorry about the way I behaved earlier. I was just taken by surprise. I promise that I don't always act like that and I hope I didn't ruin my only chance at making a good impression." Her smile grew wider and she shook my hand gently.
"I'm so happy to meet you, Charlie. Your dad has told me such wonderful things about you."
I laugh a little because I knew it was true. "He's biased. You can only trust him about half of the stuff he must have told you. Unfortunately, Dad hasn't told me anything about you, besides your name and that you're dating." I shot my Dad a playful glare.