He scowled. "Wouldn't do to have sickly slaves, would it?"
"No," I answered, perfectly serious. "It wouldn't."
"This doesn't bother you?" He eyed me incredulously. "You really don't care what he's done to you?" Realisation dawned. "He let you go out on your own, and you didn't even try to escape, did you?"
"Of course not. I belong here."
"No you don't! No person should be able to own another. Can't you see how wrong it is? Look what he's done to us!" He tugged angrily at his collar.
"Master doesn't own me here,"-I touched my collar-"he owns me here." I touched my chest, over the place where it hurt when I wondered why he'd purchase another slave at all.
"Oh." He sat back on his haunches. "Oh."
"Yes," I answered softly.
"Then what am I?"
"How should I know?" I spat, bitterness welling in me, acid churning my gut. "Lords don't love their slaves." I laughed humourlessly. "Not even underlords."
"You think he means to replace you?"
I didn't-I hadn't-I couldn't let my thoughts stray down that dark road. Not until I heard Kai say the words out loud, so casually, like he could perfectly understand why I'd be so easy to replace. Tears pricked my eyes, and I was half standing before he realised I'd moved.
"I'm sorry."
"Fuck you."
He looked surprised. "Your master taught you that word?"
I laughed, disarmed. "No one else did."
His expression turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry I offended you. Please, don't go. I'm sure whatever he plans for me, he'd never replace you."
I sat again, a little mollified, and prepared to forgive him for stamping so clumsily into my life. Today he'd had a lot to take in.
"Your master." He looked apprehensive again. "Does he … ?"
"Fuck me?"
He nodded.
"Of course. I'm his pleasureslave." I dripped enough scorn into the last word he'd know he offended me earlier.
"Well, he's not doing it to me!" he declared fiercely.
"I don't want him to, either." My eyes flashed. "But what we want doesn't come into it. You never know, you might even learn to like it."
A ghost flitted behind his eyes, and he looked momentarily vulnerable.
"Or perhaps you already have?" I guessed.
"Not that!"
"Something close, then. You're not as innocent as I first thought."
He blushed beautifully, deep red from his chest to the tips of his ears. With everything else that had been happening, I hadn't taken time to stop and notice how attractive he was.
"Forget about him," I said cruelly. "You'll never see him again."
"You think I don't know? I don't need your master to collar me for that. He's dead."
"Oh."
"And I'm here."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't want your pity."
We glared at each other.
"I don't want any of this," he continued, suddenly plaintive.
"He'll treat you well."
"Where is he, anyway-this master of yours? Why does he send you to do his dirty work for him?"
"He isn't here. He was called away."
"Convenient," he sneered. "Was that before or after he bought me?"
I dropped my gaze. "Before."
"Wait-what?" The truth dawned slowly. "You chose me? You?"
I nodded.
"Why?"
"Why not?" I answered defensively. "Someone had to. Why not me?"
"But why choose me over the others? I saw them: kids-babies, most of them. Easy to train. Why me?"
"Truthfully?" I looked hard at him. "Because I wanted to. Isn't that reason enough?"
He looked back, considering my answer. "No."
"Fine," I snapped. "I did it because I felt sorry for you."
"You felt sorry for me?"
"Yes. You have no idea. You came into the Cage like you were ready to take on the world. You're too old to train, you know that. What did you think you were there for? They'd have done unspeakable things to you. They'd have let their friends do unspeakable things. They'd have used you until there was nothing left of you to take. Did you want that?"
He paled. "No."
"So I bought you." I shrugged. "I know you'll be safe here, if you do as you're told."
His shoulders slumped, and he drew the thin robe I'd given him as we left the slavemarket closer around his torso. "You should have let one of them have me. At least then it would have been over."
"That's no way to die," I answered softly.
"This is no way to live, either."
I shook my head as I stood to leave. He would learn one way or another. If Master had to break him, or sell him, then that was what he would do. I hoped it wouldn't come to that. I had hoped to talk him round, that he would at least be receptive when Master summoned him, for my own sake.
"Where are you going?"
"To my chamber. You won't listen to me and maybe you're right, but I can't change what's happened to you-to either of us. If Master punishes me for buying you, then I'll accept it. I only wanted to help."
"Wait."
I paused, my hand on the door, ready to knock for release.
"I don't want you to get punished because of me."
I snorted. "That's not your decision to make."
"What can I do?"
"Other than accept what has happened?" I turned to face him. "Be obedient. He won't ask for much, not at first."
"Tell me about him."
"You really want to know?"
He nodded, patting the floor beside him. I sat.
"He's an underlord," I began. "He governs the whole area-"
"I don't want to know about that. Tell me what he's like."
I smiled involuntarily, as I always did when I thought of him. "He's handsome. Black hair, a bit like yours. Longer, though. Brown eyes. Dark, dark brown. No beard. The Thirskans don't wear beards. Sometimes he lets me shave him." I blushed at that. No doubt Kai thought I should have cut his throat while I was about it.
"And he treats you well?"
"Oh, yes. I was bought for the mistress, but I always preferred him. He was so kind to me when they first brought me here."
"You never mentioned a mistress before."
My eyes darkened. "She left."
"Oh."
"Yes. It has just been me and Master this last sixmonth."
"And then he sent you to buy me."
I appreciated that he understood how I felt.
"You say you were twelve?"
I nodded.
"He didn't.... Not then, surely?"
"No, not then. He let me keep my childhood until I had outgrown it. What was left of it, anyway."
"When you say he won't ask for much...." He swallowed; his throat sounded dry. "What will he expect?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "I only know he's always been good to me. Gentle."
"Oh." He looked marginally relieved.
"He never forced me." For some reason, it mattered that Kai understood that. "If anything, I forced him." I laughed, remembering how much I had wanted it. How hesitant he had seemed at first, as though unsure his attentions were truly desired. I had never desired anything the way I desired him.
"I, I don't know if I can … ."
"You haven't even met him yet," I reminded him. "He might surprise you."
CHAPTER THREE
Master returned as the second sun set, as the first rings rose in the sky, beautiful blue-white halos of ice that arced across the horizon, a celestial bridge over which the ancient sun-gods strolled. His eyes looked tired, yet still he smiled to see me presenting neatly outside his chamber door. He beckoned and I followed him in, the latch catching with a soft click. He surprised me by taking me in his arms, burying his nose in my long hair, and inhaling deeply. I closed my eyes and returned the embrace, my cheek nestled on his broad chest, listening to the steady double-beat of his heart.
"It's been a long day, Tam." He stroked a hand through my hair; long already when he bought me, it now reached almost to my hips. I shivered as his fingers pressed into my spine, coming to rest in the hollow just above my buttocks.
"You are home now, Master."
"Home. Yes." He drew my head back, and we looked at one another. He smiled and dropped a soft kiss on my forehead. The places he touched me burned. "Tell me about your day."
"I purchased your new slave." I couldn't meet his eyes.
"Oh?" He released me, turning to remove his robes and bathe his hot skin at his washbasin. "Tell me about him."
"He's too old." I blurted the admission.
The friendly sound of swishing water stopped. "How old?"
Shame at my failure overwhelmed me. "Well past twenty."
"Were there none younger?"
"Many." I risked a glance at his back, but his relaxed muscles told me nothing.