“That happened one time,” Jane said, holding up her index finger.
“Besides, I don’t think Finn’s ever been to a Cracker Barrel,” Dick added.
“Finn?” Gabriel’s eyes went wide. “Finn Palmeroy is your sire?”
“Why does everybody say it like that?” I exclaimed.
Andrea cleared her throat. “Finn has a bit of a reputation among vampires. Also, Jane, Dick, why didn’t you tell us Finn was Libby’s sire?”
“We took a vow of confidentiality,” Jane said.
Dick shrugged. “Also, it sort of slipped my mind.”
“What kind of reputation?” I asked.
“What’s a nice word for ‘shady as hell’?” Andrea asked.
“Dick Cheney,” Jane said just as Gabriel asked, “Is there a nice word for ‘shady as hell’?”
I might have laughed if they weren’t talking about the guy who’d turned me while I was unconscious. I hoped there weren’t questionable pictures out there on the Internet.
“I think I find that offensive!” Dick exclaimed. “No, seriously, I do find that offensive, Jane. You know how hard I’ve worked to turn over a new leaf. I haven’t sold a counterfeit UK promotional product in months!”
“Dick!” Jane exclaimed. “You know I’m kidding!”
“No, I don’t know that, Jane. Just like you don’t know whether I’m ‘kidding’ when I throw out every coffee drink you make at the shop to protect our customers from food poisoning!”
Dick flounced off into the back room. He honest-to-God flounced. I’d never seen a vampire flounce before. It was considerably less intimidating than everything else I’d seen vampires do. Jane stared after him and turned to her husband, who shrugged and then gestured toward Dick’s back.
“That wasn’t more insulting than what I usually say to him,” Jane protested.
“You make me apologize to Jamie when I say the wrong thing,” Gabriel noted.
“That’s because you say the wrong thing so frequently. I only say the wrong thing every once in a while.”
Gabriel said nothing, merely lifted an eyebrow and stared at his wife.
She added, “When it comes to Dick, I only say the wrong thing every once in a while.”
Gabriel’s eyebrow did not change position.
“Miss Jane, when you hurt someone’s feelings, you should say you’re sorry,” Danny informed her solemnly. “Miss Steele says that not saying you’re sorry ‘only compounds the rudeness.’ I’m not sure what that means, because when we asked, she told us to look it up on Google when we got home. And I forgot.”
“You’re setting an example for Danny,” Gabriel told her, smirking to beat the band.
Jane groaned. “Fine.”
With all of the enthusiasm of a petulant teenager, Jane flung herself from the chair and followed Dick into the stockroom. “Dick! Danny says I have to say I’m sorry!”
“They’ve been like this ever since they started working together at the Council,” Gabriel said with a sigh.
“As much as I sympathize with the Council’s internal squabbles, can we get back to the fact that my sire has a Keyser Soze reputation?” I asked.
“He’s not violent,” Gabriel said, quickly putting his hands over Danny’s ears. “Well, he’s not always violent. He considers it the last resort, a sort of rudeness he doesn’t want to stoop to.”
“So more Hannibal Lecter than Keyser Soze. That’s much better.”
Gabriel didn’t disagree with me, which I didn’t find comforting. “Finn has made a lot of money over the years for himself and his backers using a systematic sort of ruthlessness that makes even the Council hierarchy balk. He is unsentimental and efficient and has no qualms.”
“Has no qualms about what?” I asked.
“Anything.” Gabriel’s expression was neutral despite his conflicted tone. “I didn’t say he was unlikable. He can be quite charming, actually. I just wouldn’t trust anything that comes out of his mouth, unless he’s telling you how his actions will directly benefit him.”
“So why would he turn me?” I asked. “If he’s this cold, ruthless businessman, why in the world would he respond to an online ad and turn me?”
Gabriel shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Should you go back there and try to smooth things over with Dick and Jane?”
Gabriel shook his head emphatically, finally unclamping his hands from Danny’s ears. “No, I should not.”
“You’re much better at earmuffs than my papaw,” Danny informed Gabriel. “I could hardly hear anything.”