Mum hadn’t yet recovered from the one and only time Nico had invited her to dinner here and he’d served poussin. She spent the entire drive home telling me how she could have bought four chickens from Lidl for the price of ‘one of them bony little pushions’.
‘He was born here, Mum. He’s British.’
‘Well, whatever. As long as you’re happy.’ She paused, her eyes narrowing. ‘You are happy, aren’t you?’
I took a deep breath. I struggled to find my no-nonsense voice, didn’t want Mum to think I’d lost my Parker grit and gone all soft now I was a ‘wife’. ‘Of course I’m happy! Nico is really lovely. Just need to win over the rest of the Mafia now and we’ll all be riding off into the sunset on fat little ponies.’
My mum patted my hand. ‘Oh pet. It’s early days. Francesca’s had two years without a mum but Caitlin was ill for nearly a year before that. It’s a lot for any child of her age, poor little mite. Give her time. She’ll come round.’
I nodded. ‘I hope so.’
Mum sniffed. ‘And don’t worry about that Anna. She was all for standing there wringing her hands, but I never saw her roll up her sleeves when there was puke to clear up. None of the women were any cop. That daughter-in-law, what’s her name, Lara, didn’t help out much. Just left it to me to sit with her and tell her that Francesca would be fine, she’d done enough, she could go peacefully.’
I felt a twinge of shame for cringing when I’d heard Mum say ‘Hello duck’ to Anna; for wishing that she’d get her weight under control; for frowning at the woolly hat that made her look old. The ability to be kind, practical and stoic was worth so much more than any amount of draping skill with a scarf.
‘Was Nico really distraught?’ I wanted to take that question back as soon as I’d asked it.
Mum frowned. ‘Don’t get yourself into a “Who did he love more?” competition, Mags. I know Nico loves you. He did find it hard at the end. Everyone did. She was so young. Nico relied on his brother a lot though; Massimo was always popping in to give him a break. Made me feel guilty that you’d never had any brothers or sisters for when I go.’
‘Oh God, Mum, let’s not even go there!’
I cut off the oxygen to that conversation by sticking my head in the fridge to find the vegetables for the soup. We soon fell into an easy rhythm of peeling and chopping, while Sam dashed in and out, telling Mum how he was goalie in the school football team, how Nico was going to take him to a proper match, how he was enjoying walking to school now we lived nearer.
As the soup bubbled away, I laid the table, wondering whether Anna would faint onto the floor if I put out paper, rather than cloth, napkins. Mum was buttering bread rolls, with Sam giving her chapter and verse about the cars Sandro had for his Scalextric next door. ‘I like the Ferrari best, which is an Italian car. I’m half-Italian now, aren’t I?’
I kissed his head. ‘It doesn’t quite work like that. Still, it’s nice Lara’s happy for you to go round there and play with it.’ Although I found the way she delivered exact timings so uppity: ‘Would Sam like to pop round at three-thirty? Till five o’clock?’ On our estate the kids just wandered in and out of each other’s houses until the parents called them home for tea.
‘She likes me going because Sandro hasn’t got the hang of the Scalextric Massimo bought him yet. Every time he goes round a corner the cars fling off and I help him sort it all out. She said I couldn’t go when Massimo’s there, though.’
‘Why not?’ Mum asked.
Sam shrugged. ‘Dunno. I think he finds me too noisy.’
‘Surely not! A little mouse like you!’ Mum said. ‘Mind you, anyone would seem like they were making a right racket after their little boy. Never seen a child so quiet.’
I was just about to ask her what she knew about Lara when we heard the front door open. I wiped my hands on a tea towel. ‘That was quick,’ I whispered to Mum.
It didn’t seem right to fly out into the hallway and say, ‘How did you get on?’ all cheery, as though they’d been on a little outing with tea and scones, so I waited in the kitchen.
I heard footsteps clattering upstairs, then Nico came in, his cheeks red with cold, his face pinched and weary.
‘Are you okay? Where are the others?’
‘Still there. Francesca had a meltdown at the entrance to the cemetery, started stamping on the roses and crying.’ He sighed. ‘She just can’t accept Caitlin’s not coming back. I thought it would help her but maybe it’s still too soon.’