I had posted the speech on my blog that morning and had gotten the same response, minus the standing ovation. Though a few people sent standing ovation gifs. Others sent some not-so-nice ones. The more followers I got, the more detractors that came with it. I was called, among other things, a flaming feminist, bitter, ugly, and with Halloween around the corner, someone wished a house to fall on me.
There was enough love for me, though, that I had met with Delanie, a Chicago-based marketing group, and agent to talk about "selling me" earlier in the week. That sounded awful and frightening, because it was. It was also exciting and intriguing.
These people were talking about getting me on talk shows and shopping around for a publisher. The agent even threw out reality TV. I shut that down immediately. I had enough reality in my life. I didn't need some camera crew following me around documenting it. Besides, I was boring. He wouldn't let it drop. He was thinking of doing like a Bachelorette type show where I chose to get back in the game and choose my next husband. Never in a million years was that going to happen. Marriage wasn't meant to be mocked. I didn't care that Kevin, my wannabe agent, was throwing around six-figure numbers at me.
I didn't even have time to see Reed, and I already knew I liked him.
In all the chaos, and with his illness, I wasn't going to get to really see him until James and Avery's Halloween party that Saturday night, two days before my birthday. Even then, we wouldn't be able to connect in the way I would have liked. The way he kept texting me about how he planned to make me gasp, I was ready.
I probably shouldn't have been thinking about all that while I was standing in front of strangers taking in their applause. I should have been thinking about my exit strategy. What was I supposed to say and do?
Thankfully Delanie and Avery were in the audience. I looked to them. Delanie was trying to mouth something to me. She was a smart girl. Like, I-really-wanted-to-know-what-she-did-for-a-living smart. You should have seen the way she handled the agent and marketing firm. I was beginning to think that online publication she worked for paid her some serious bucks, and she was worth every penny. She was savvy and showed them who was boss right down to telling them if we used them, we wanted full control and say over anything that had the Sidelined Wife's name attached to it. She even named an entertainment lawyer we would be bringing to our next meeting. When I'd asked her how she knew one, she brushed it off.
I finally figured out what Delanie was mouthing: Tell them where to look for you online and thank them for hosting you.
Oh yeah, I think she mentioned that beforehand when I almost puked from nerves. I stood up tall at the podium with the Clearfield's Women League sign adorning it. I took a deep breath. "Thank you so much. I'm overwhelmed. If you want to hear more from me, please follow me online. You can find me at theSidelinedWife.com or on Facebook. Thank you."
I did my best to gracefully exit the stage. I shook the president of the league's hand on my way off the raised platform. She was a lovely lady, from what I could tell.
I walked to the table where Avery, Delanie, and the leaders of the league were all gathered. My sisters greeted me with open arms. I drew from their strength and sent a prayer of thanks up for not wetting my pants, tripping, vomiting, mispronouncing words, or in general embarrassing myself. But, honestly, what had I gotten myself into?
~*~
I wondered that exact same thing when I showed up to Avery and James's annual Halloween party across town in my Little Red Riding Hood costume a few days later. It was a mix of sweet and sexy, with a full-length red satin cape, and a corseted dress that fell a couple of inches above my knee. I wore white stockings to my knees with heels.
It wasn't really anything I would want my mother to see me in. Which was why I dropped Cody off at my parents' place to stay the night with Jimmy and Matt before I dressed up like a very grown-up Red Riding Hood. Also, James and Avery's parties sometimes got a little wild. That's what happens when you throw alcohol into the mix. Nothing we needed our children to see. Or the parents. Or so I thought.
I had asked Avery if she wanted me to come early and help, but she repeatedly told me she had it covered. She specifically told me to show up at 6:30 that night. I did as she instructed, with my basket full of wolf-shaped cookies I'd made earlier in the day. I was being one of those over-achievers. It wouldn't last. But every Little Red Riding Hood needed a wolf, and mine tasted yummy.
When I showed up, there was a hardly a car in their middle-of-the-middle-class neighborhood, and none but mine in front of their house. So maybe Avery wanted me to be there early to help after all, I thought. It made sense; the party normally started at 7:00.
I almost felt like skipping up the stone paver walk. Not sure where that urge came from. Maybe because I knew I would see Reed, or perhaps I kind of liked the way I was looking tonight. Even my hair did what I wanted it to. Sexy curls outlined my face. It looked great with the hood.
I shook my head at their door with a sign that read, Sorry, We're Dead. That was James's idea. He loved that sign and couldn't wait to put it out every year. Avery would promptly replace it the day after Halloween next week with a fall harvest wreath.
I tapped on the door before turning the knob to let myself in, like I normally did.
For a split second, the front room and foyer were dark. The next second, it was all lit up and several people jumped up and shouted, "Surprise! Happy Birthday!"
I was so startled I dropped my basket of cookies. It took me a second to process what had happened and focus in on the familiar faces. Avery caught my eye first, beaming, knowing she had pulled off this little ruse of hers. She was coming my way with open arms. Before I could hug her, I caught a glimpse of Reed. Was he wearing a wolf mask? I had told him what I was coming as tonight. I didn't have time to worry about it. I was being bombarded with throngs of family and old friends I hadn't seen in a while
Avery wrapped her tiny arms around me. She was the cutest Alice in Wonderland to James's Mad Hatter costume. "Happy birthday! Are you surprised?"
I reciprocated the hug. "That is an understatement. How long have you been planning this?"
She released me and grinned. "Forever. You only turn forty once."
Forty? I was still coming to terms with that number. While everyone was saying the forties are the new twenties, my body was saying, You wish.
"Thank you. I think." I grinned.
Up next were my brothers. I got a big bear hug from each. Peter was dressed up as Fred Flintstone. I assumed that meant Delanie was dressed up as Wilma with her red hair; it would have been perfect. But I didn't see her right off. That made sense when Peter backed away and made room for my parents. I noticed the hard stare he gave Ma before he walked off. They still weren't talking.
I thought for a second Ma was going to say something to him, but instead she turned her sights on me . . . or should I say, my costume. She shook her head and pressed her lips together. Neither she nor Dad were dressed up, unless shocked was a costume.
"Samantha Marie, what is this you're wearing?" Ma waved her hand up and down. "You're going to give everyone the impression that you are spreading your NDAs around!"
Oh, why couldn't she forget about that? "It's nice to see you too, Ma."
Dad stepped in and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Happy birthday, baby girl. You look too good."
"Thanks, Dad." I hugged him for a few seconds longer, enjoying the safety of his arms and trying to avoid Ma for as long as possible.
Dad stepped away, giving Ma a clear shot of me. She was about to lay into me again, until . . .
"Happy birthday, Sam." Reed, my savior, showed up, and he was definitely wearing a wolf head. He was opening a can of worms I wasn't ready for.
"Hi." I did my best not to grimace at his costume. His smile made it hard to be upset with him.
He turned toward my parents. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting anything? I just wanted to wish Samantha a happy birthday."
Ma patted his arm. "You are such a nice boy. Had I known you were going to be here, I would have invited Penelope. I've been telling her all about you. You really should come to church and meet her."
Reed rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll think about it."
"I better go say hi to everyone else." I made a quick escape while jealous tinges tried to take root. I tried to fight them off with logical thoughts. For example, Penelope was young and a model, of course Reed should want to meet her. And we had made no commitments to each other, so he was free to date whomever he wanted. Not sure any of those thoughts helped, but the barrage of people greeting me helped me to at least focus on something else.