The Sidelined Wife(41)

Pedicure? When?

I'm not sure yet. Maybe Thursday, if I have time.

Make time Thursday evening and I'll come with you after practice is over.

I don't have time to go two hours away to get a pedicure.

You don't need to. I have a plan.

You always do.

I do what I have to do to clandestine with you.

That rhymed.

I have more where that came from.

I had no doubt that he did. My yawning was becoming uncontrollable. It was already eleven. I better go. Goodnight.

Goodnight, beautiful.

I held the phone to my chest, believing he meant every word.





Chapter Thirty-Five


Why is it when you feel like you are getting one part of your life  settled, or at least in the managed-chaos stage, that colossal chaos  comes your way? I'm partially blaming you all for my current dilemma.  Apparently, there are people that think I may know a thing or two since  so many of you follow me. If you are under that impression as well,  please let me apologize. I'm not sure where they got their information.                       
       
           



       

But now I'll be making my first public appearance. I'm supposed to  string words together that sound intelligent and insightful. I've never  ranked myself high on either scale. To top it off, my son is going on  his first date this weekend. And not just any date, but a homecoming  date. I'm gulping down my heart as I type.

I don't know about you other single, divorced moms, but now I worry even  more about being enough. Am I enough to show my son how to be a man? A  better man than the one I chose for him?

Does he know that there is nothing more "manly" than showing his  emotions or admitting when he's made a mistake and then trying to do  better? Does he know the influence he has to empower the future girls  and women in his life? Have I empowered him? Will he know what it means  to be a partner when I feel like I'm just learning that lesson now? Does  he know that sometimes the strongest thing he can do is be gentle? Or  that saying no to his own desires in place of another person's shows  strength beyond compare? Will he be brave enough in the tough moments to  do the right thing? I know the man I trusted to be strong in the  moments that truly counted wasn't.

My hope is that my son sees what a destructive force selfishness is and  chooses a better way. I hope that I will choose better. And I'm not  talking about a man, though I do have a working list on the must-haves  for the next husband, assuming there will be a next one. I'll share that  list in a later post, but spine-tingling kisses is a must.

As always, carry on, and don't forget the important job we do on the  sidelines. I especially love the support you all lend to each other and  me on every thread. If you have any tips for how to make it through your  son dating, or a good, stiff drink recommendation, send them my way.  Just kidding. I should probably remain sober for this. So any  non-alcoholic advice would be terrific.

Yours Truly,

Sidelined Wife in Chief

P.S. Return to Sender was riveting. I give it two thumbs up. Next up on  the book club front is Midnight Promises. I'll be sending out more info  and the These Chicks Read Lit book club questions in my newsletter if  you want to participate via Skype.

Yes, I had a newsletter. That was Delanie's idea. And the Stepford  Wives-aka These Chicks Read Lit-had assimilated me. The first book club  had been last week, and I admit I enjoyed myself, even if we weren't  reading Hunter Black books. I even posted pictures on my blog and  Facebook page of all my new artificial friends, who might turn into the  real thing as long as they didn't want to start braiding my hair or  having sleepovers. I was afraid that was a possibility for some of them.

Did I mention one of the mean moms was a member? Her name was Clarice,  as in Silence of the Lambs, though I pegged her more as the serial  killer, not the heroine. Her beady-eyed stares all night bothered me.  And every time someone mentioned they loved my blog, she made ugh sort  of sounds that she tried to pass off as clearing her throat. I was so  proud of myself when I finally handed her a cough drop halfway through  our discussion. She begrudgingly had to take it, but I could tell with  every fiber of her being she wanted to shove it down my throat.

Good times.

I clicked publish on my post and checked the time. I probably shouldn't  be writing posts at work, but that was one of the perks when you worked  for family. Delanie was meeting Avery and me for lunch at the office to  help Avery plan her Halloween party, even though she had it mostly  planned already. This was more of an excuse to let Delanie know we loved  her.

Delanie offered to bring the food. I hoped she wasn't making it. I loved  her and wanted to do what we could to mend the gaping hole Ma created  and was adding to every day by refusing to apologize. It had been four  days now. At least Peter and Delanie weren't cutting off ties with  everyone, but I couldn't imagine Sunday dinner without them. I hated  that our numbers were shrinking. Well, Reed had filled a spot, but how  long would that last?

Speaking of Reed, my phone buzzed. I looked down and saw this message.

I want to know if your spine tingles when I kiss you, and how does that feel? My spine has never tingled.

My Reed grin came out.

First, I'm disappointed your spine doesn't tingle when we kiss. And  second, aren't you supposed to be educating the next generation right  now instead of reading my blog?

Just like I should be working. I had to get our third quarter tax  payment transferred to the state. How were we already well into October?  That meant a baby would be born soon. I forced that thought out of my  head. Reed helped me out.

If you weren't such a lady and I wasn't doing my best to be a gentleman  to you, I would tell you some things that . . . never mind, just know I  look forward to each and every touch. And by the way, it's my planning  period.                       
       
           



       

I hoped no one walked into my office. Not only was my spine tingling,  but I felt the mother of all hot flashes-the good kind, not the  menopausal kind.

That's right. I forgot.

You never did answer my original question.

I bit my lip. I would have thought the gasps would have answered that question for you.

I do enjoy those. It's a shame I won't be able to hear any in the near future.

That is a shame. Really it was. There was no time this week for us to  sneak away. The last time we had seen each other was Monday to grocery  shop, and as fun as that was, it left something to be desired. Namely,  him.

Are we still on for pedicures this evening?

If you're sure.

I still couldn't believe he wanted to get one. I wasn't entirely sure  how we were going to pull it off together, but he said he had it  handled. He hadn't failed us yet. Although a woman had recognized me in  the grocery store Monday, thankfully, Reed noticed and was able to  scurry away unseen by the eager fan.

That was weird for me, by the way. She told me her whole life story  there in the international food aisle, including how all three of her  husbands had left her. One left her for a man, so she didn't feel too  bad about that one, but her last one left her for a much older woman.  She was salty about it. So much so, she spray-painted his car and was  arrested. I hoped she read the rules of the Sidelined Wives club: no  talking about any illegal activity that would make us testify against  you. I confess, I faked a phone call from Cody to get away from her. She  frightened me.

I wouldn't miss it. See you soon, gorgeous, Reed texted back.

I look forward to it.

And did I ever. I wasn't sure I ever had this much fun dating when I was  younger. Maybe it was the whole secret aspect. More than likely it was  Reed. He was the epitome of fun. When we were younger, I considered his  carefree attitude annoying. It's amazing what twenty years could do for  your perspective.

Lingering thoughts of Reed were interrupted by the sound of Delanie's  and Avery's voices. I clicked out of my texting app and slid my phone  into the pocket of my jeans before heading out to the front of the  office to have lunch with my sisters. We would eat at Avery's desk since  we didn't have a break room-there was only a small area in the back  with a refrigerator and a microwave on a stand. Nothing fancy. The guys  usually ate at the site they were working at. Once in a while they came  to the office when James had a lunch date with Avery or if Peter was  sneaking home to be with Delanie.

Delanie and Avery were already seated with a large paper bag from the  local Thai restaurant on the desk. Relief filled me. No home-cooked  Delanie meals. Delanie sat stiff and pensive opposite Avery. Even so,  she looked gorgeous in her brown cable-knit sweater, her hair draped to  the side. No wonder Peter was sneaking off any chance he could.