Dad saved me from my complete self-loathing meltdown. He brought in some more grilled meat from the patio and finally noticed I was there. As soon as he set the platter on the counter he wrapped me up in his big, strong arms, made from working daily at Decker and Sons Landscaping. He wasn't only the owner and boss, he showed everyone how it was done and wasn't afraid to put in twelve-hour days. His beer belly said otherwise, but he was the hardest worker I'd ever known.
"Sammie." Dad squeezed the air out of me. He was the only person to call me Sammie, probably the only person I would allow. "How's my baby girl?"
I leaned into his shoulder and took a moment to answer. I wasn't sure how I was anymore. I think I was over the shell shock and denial stage. I'd probably moved into the I-hate-almost-everyone-and-everything phase, but I wasn't sure how to articulate that, so I went with, "Fine."
He kissed the top of my head. "Liar."
Before I could respond, Ma shooed him out of the newly updated kitchen with the stainless-steel appliances and granite countertops she'd been longing for. She didn't like her territory invaded by him. And you didn't mess with her when food was involved. It was probably one of the reasons Delanie stayed near Peter. Someday I hoped she would find comfort in our family, that Ma would realize Delanie was Peter's choice. Like I said, no time to think about the lovebirds today.
In the midst of the chaos, the doorbell rang. I was surprised I'd heard it above my loud-mouthed family.
"Samantha Marie, will you get that?" Ma was juggling plates and silverware.
Without a word I quit tossing the salad I was working on and headed straight for the door. A surprise awaited on the other side of the heavy oak door. I swung it open expecting to see some kid in the neighborhood selling something or other for a fundraiser, but instead I was greeted with some mischievous blue eyes I hadn't seen in forever. Eyes that always spelled trouble. But the face and body were all wrong. Those pair of eyes belonged to Peter's scrawny best friend I used to babysit back in the day, not the tall, sun-kissed, well-built man that stood there holding a bouquet of daises.
"Reed?"
He flashed some seriously gleaming white teeth at me. "Samantha, you look surprised to see me." He sounded disappointed.
"You've grown up." That sounded ridiculous. Of course he had; he was thirty-four, the same age as Peter.
He laughed at me. "You might have heard. I have a big boy job now too and everything."
Something Cody and Peter mentioned to me played in my brain. I had a vague recollection of Cody saying something like the new coach knows you and Peter mentioning at the office that his friend had moved back. I had been in such a fog the last several months that sometimes things didn't register right away or at all.
"You're the new football coach," I stuttered. Now I remembered a letter coming home a couple of months ago mentioning Reed Cassidy would be the new head football coach, and something about Coach Gainer being let go for undisclosed reasons. It never occurred to me that it was this Reed Cassidy. Even when Cody said something, I didn't connect the dots. The Cassidys moved forever ago and I hadn't seen Reed in I don't know how many years. He might have been at my wedding with his parents. Maybe?
"Your kid has a great arm, by the way."
I shook my head, trying to let all this information sink in and reconcile that the man in front of me was the boy that annoyed me during my adolescent years.
"Thank you," I managed to get out before realizing I wasn't showing good manners. "Come in."
"I wondered if you were going to offer." His manly voice was throwing me off. It was nothing like the cracks and squeaks that used to frequently come out of his and Peter's mouths twenty years ago.
"Sorry, I didn't know we were expecting company."
"Peter invited me over when we met for lunch yesterday." He held out the flowers. "I brought these for Mrs. D."
I hadn't heard Ma called that in forever. "That's sweet of you. She'll love them." I was sure I was staring at him, but I couldn't get over that this was Reed Cassidy. I didn't want to think it because it almost seemed incestuous, but he'd done a good job growing up.
Cody passed by and caught a glimpse of his coach in the foyer with me. "Coach Cassidy, what are you doing here?" It was the happiest I'd heard him in a long while. He even smiled.
While Cody made his way to his coach, several other family members clued in we had a guest. They all herded over like sheep to greet him. That's when I made my escape. I did that a lot lately. Alone was better. Or at least emotionally safer.
Chapter Three
It didn't take long for the let's-make-this-uncomfortable-for-Samantha show to begin once we sat down to eat at the table that was probably groaning from the weight of the food.
It all started with the seating arrangements. The Decker family table, which was specially made for our clan, sat in the dining room that had been added on to accommodate our numbers and the abnormally large table. The table could seat sixteen, though we were now only eleven, down from thirteen. The space to the right of me had been empty for months, and the chair across from me and next to Avery would forever remain empty, a tribute and reminder of the sweet nine-year-old angel with bouncing blond curls that used to sit there. Our sweet Hannah, daughter of Avery and James, was taken from us too early when she was hit by a car while she rode her bike to the park two years ago. I could still see the vacancy in Avery's eyes and the grief that lingered in James's countenance.
I wondered if my own reflection looked like Avery's and James's. For months now I felt as if a death occurred, my own, my family's. I wasn't sure what or who I was anymore.
Dad blessed our Sunday meal. He asked the angels to watch over Hannah, like he did every week, and keep her until we could all meet again. So each of our meals started with tears. With the way this one was going, it might end up with them too.
The rectangular table always had Ma and Dad at each end, my family and Peter and Delanie on one side, with James's family and Mimsy on the other. Not sure why, but Reed ended up where Neil used to sit. I thought he would have sat by Peter; after all, they had been friends since boyhood.
Reed started the commotion with an innocent comment when I passed the potato salad to him.
"So how have you been, Samantha?"
"She's divorced," Mimsy answered for me while rubbing her rosary beads and crossing herself. She didn't stop there. She dipped her hands in her water glass and tried to flick some at me across the table while praying to Saint Anthony to help me find my way again.
"Mimsy, that's not even holy water," I complained, even though it was Cody that got hit in the face with the water.
Mimsy blew me a kiss before handing over her glass to Peter. "Can you bless this?" She also threw some cash at each great-grandson at the table.
Oh, help us.
Peter tugged on the collar of his polo shirt. "Mimsy, you know I'm not a priest anymore."
That set Ma off. It was never good to remind Ma that Peter left the priesthood for Delanie. In reality it wasn't for her; he was following his own heart. I always warned Ma that I wasn't sure entering the seminary was the right path for him. Peter loved God, but I always knew Peter would want to be a husband and a father. Meeting Delanie only made him see where his true desires lay.
Ma started making comments under her breath about Delanie's diamond stud nose ring and the vine tattoo down her arm that I found beautiful. Ma was old school and believed tattoos only desecrated your body. And did I mention Delanie wasn't sure she believed in God? None of the rest of us held that against her, but Ma couldn't understand how her sweet baby boy ended up with a heathen. Never one to let Ma intimidate her or make her feel less, Delanie grabbed Peter by the shirt and pulled him to her. I would label their kiss as the kind that probably would have been better saved for private. Peter sure seemed to enjoy it, running his hands through Delanie's hair. Cody and my nephews hooted and hollered like the teenagers they were.
Ma couldn't take it. She slammed her potato salad bowl so hard on the table that some egg and pickle landed on James. James took it in stride and laughed while wiping off his shirt. That got Peter and Delanie to pull apart, albeit with a too loud suctioning sound.
It was just another night at the Deckers.
I faced an entertained Reed, who couldn't have looked any happier. "To answer your question, that basically summed up how I am."