The Sidelined Wife(28)

Was I over Neil? I didn't want him anymore, at least not who he had  become. I hadn't in a long time. His injury severed that connection. But  the wound had not healed. He had left his mark. And there were still  times I ached for the man I'd married almost eighteen years ago. Did  that mean I wasn't ready?

I grabbed my phone off the charger to throw in my bag before going out to make Cody breakfast. I had two texts.

The first one was from Avery. Are you really thinking about dating?

Yes. I was honest.

Next up was Reed. Tell your friend to get ready. She's going to have a great time this weekend.

Do you follow me on Facebook? I had no idea who was and wasn't. I gave  up looking at the notifications after the first couple of thousand  people.

Of course. I need to know what type of legal documentation I may require  in the future. And I've always wanted a good protein ball recipe.

Now you're lying.

Only about the protein balls.

I need to finish getting ready. Have a good day.

You too. I'll call you tonight, just let me know when you're available to talk.

Why are you calling?

I like talking to you. And how else will I know how your day was?

Oh.

Is that okay?

I thought for a moment. Yes.

I look forward to it.

Me too, I thought.

~*~

I arrived at the office with Avery's favorite orange scones from a  bakery we frequented, and purple gift bag full of paper hearts I had cut  out last night while I couldn't sleep. My mind was preoccupied. With  mostly Reed. Did this make me a cougar? Not thinking about it.

This was a tough week for our family, especially James and Avery's  family. Tomorrow it would be two years since our beautiful Hannah had  been taken from us. I knew Avery and James would go to her grave  tomorrow. I think they went more than we knew. I made the hearts so  Avery could spread them on her grave. She had the prettiest little  headstone made of white marble, inscribed in gold. It fit Hannah, golden  and pure.

I set the bag of hearts and the scones on her desk without a word. I  could tell by her blurry eyes and rosy cheeks she was doing her best to  hold it together. And I knew she would know what the hearts were for.  She had been unnecessarily apologetic about only wanting James and their  boys with her tomorrow at the grave. We all understood.                       
       
           



       

Avery gave me a weak smile.

I tried to return it with a reassuring one, but I knew nothing could take away the ache her mother heart felt.

In her show of bravery, she grabbed my hand before I could walk away. "I  want to show you something." She let go of my hand and clicked on a few  folders. Up popped a gorgeous banner.

I knelt next to her chair to get an up-close look. I touched the screen  and ran my hand over the title, The Sidelined Wife, done in a bold,  curvy font. A lighted football field subtly played in the background.  She added a subtitle that read, Getting Back in the Game.

"It's gorgeous. You're so talented."

"You really love it?"

"So much." I ran my fingers across the screen again.

"Let's put it up on your site. And the new photo. I know Delanie sent it to you."

I had been avoiding that. I liked the blank space where my photo was supposed to go. "How about the banner only?"

"No deal. You look beautiful."

"You're a liar, but fine."

She rolled her eyes at me before logging into my various sites and  uploading the banner in different sizes for the different platforms.  "Now send me the picture. I'll upload it for you."

I obeyed and pulled out my phone. Within seconds it was in her inbox.  And before I knew it, my face was plastered on my Facebook page, blog,  Instagram, and Twitter. I felt more self-conscious than ever.

"So," Avery was still clicking on things, "are you really thinking about dating again?"

I stood up and rubbed my neck. "I'm thinking about it. I mean, that's natural, right?"

"I think it's a great idea. You know, our neighbor, Gary, is single.  He's attractive; nice, too. I think you met him last year at our  Halloween party."

Avery loved Halloween and threw a Halloween bash every year for adults only.

"Maybe. I can't place him." I was married last year, so it's not like  single men were on my radar. Neil hadn't come to the party with me. He  said he was researching a case he was working on with the police  department, which wasn't unusual, but they had become more frequent. I  was so naïve.

"Do you want me to set you up?"

I tensed. "No. No."

She laughed at me. "Do you have someone in mind?"

Thankfully, the office phone rang and she had to answer it. I didn't  want to lie to her, but I couldn't tell her about Reed. I would have  dinner with him once, and someday we would laugh about how silly it had  been. And maybe in ten years I would tell my family, and they could all  laugh too.

I rushed to my office and shut the door as if I could hide from my own thoughts. Wouldn't that be nice if I could?





Chapter Twenty-Five


"There's something different about you, love." Gelaire eyed me from across the table.

We were near her home, grabbing lunch at a cozy little café that made  the best grilled cheese and vegetable sandwiches before I took her to  the market. It was Wednesday, a day later than normal. Tuesday I'd  stayed in the office since Avery was out all day celebrating the life of  her daughter and mourning her death. I'd shed my share of tears, too.

For a second, I thought about the conversation I'd had last night with  Reed about Hannah. He was a great listener. He laughed with me at the  silly and sweet things Hannah did, like painting James's toe nails. That  little girl had her daddy wrapped around her finger. Neil would have  just zoned out after a while. He acted as though after Hannah's funeral  was over, I should have been over it. But he had never put in a lot of  effort to be a good uncle. Which was unfortunate, because I loved being  an aunt. And Hannah, being my only niece, held a special place in my  heart.

I tucked some of my curls behind my ear and responded to Gelaire's  comment. "I'm trying out this new styling spray for my hair that's  supposed to add sheen and keep away the frizz."

She grinned. "Your hair looks lovely as always, but that's not what I was referring to."

I took a sip of my ice water. "I'm wearing makeup again."

"It's more than physical. You seem . . . happy."

"I'm getting there, depending on the moment."

"Are you seeing someone?"

I set my glass down. Heat flooded my cheeks. "Why would you jump to that conclusion?"

Gelaire's green eyes sparkled with a hint a mischief. "My son," she was  still saying his name with some derision, "mentioned you left him a  message about replacing him. I told him I would gladly help you."

She always knew how to get me to smile. "I appreciate that, but I made that call in anger. It wasn't my finest moment."                       
       
           



       

"He deserved it. You have him worried, you know."

"What about?"

"That he'll soon be a distant memory."

"Honestly, I wish that could happen, but Cody will connect us forever." I shrugged. "Well, maybe."

Her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

I felt like I was tattling. "Neil still hasn't seen Cody. It's been weeks now. They haven't even talked."

Outrage filled her features. Red blotches of anger popped up on her  cheeks while her fists balled. "I will be having words with my son.  Again."

"You don't need to do that."

"I most certainly do. I didn't raise him to be this kind of man. His  father most certainly didn't." She took some deep breaths to try and  calm herself. "How's Cody handling it?"

"Not well. He's keeping it bottled up inside. He says he hates his dad,  but it's only because he loves him so much." Tears stung my eyes.

Gelaire reached for my hand. "I will right this. Why don't you bring  Cody over to spend the weekend with me? He needs to know that the  Higgins side loves him."

I wasn't sure how Cody would feel about that. He loved his grandma, but  she wasn't into the kind of things Cody was. And the naked statue in her  foyer, while funny to him, kind of freaked him out. But it would free  me up for Saturday night. Though I wouldn't put Cody up like some  sacrificial lamb so I could go out with his coach.

"Please?" Gelaire begged when I didn't answer right away.

"I'll talk to Cody, but promise you won't spring Neil on him without asking Cody first, if that's your plan."

She squeezed my hand. "I give you my word. I only want my grandson to  know he means the world to me. Maybe I can take him to a Cubs game or  something."

"You hate baseball."