I dropped Ma's hand and took a deep breath. "Ma, Mimsy, I love you both, but this has to stop. I'm a grown woman and, honestly, my sex life is none of your business."
Ma grabbed her heart again like I'd stabbed her. Mimsy, on the other hand, bounced on the balls of her feet like she was excited about something. She was still rubbing her rosary beads, but at least the prayers had ceased.
"So you're saying you have a sex life?" Ma wasn't hearing me.
"I'm saying I need you to love and support me."
"But are you having sex?"
I held onto the counter for support. "Ma! I'm not having sex. Are you happy?"
"Yes." She breathed a sigh of relief.
"The point is that I'm trying to deal with my divorce." I gave Mimsy a cold stare. "Please don't start in on the evils of divorce." I turned back to Ma. "Ma, I'm trying to live again. To be the mom Cody deserves. I'm trying to learn what makes Samantha Decker tick and what she wants to do with the rest of her life. I'm scared and exhausted, but I'm doing the best I can right now. Those blog posts are helping me not get lost in my head. And yes, I may talk about sex and men from time to time. I'm almost forty years old. It's allowed. And it shouldn't be any surprise that I don't have a lot of love for the opposite sex right now. Neil did a lot of damage. I'm trying to repair that."
"Oh, my girl." Ma wrapped me up in her arms.
Mimsy joined in and tried to put her tiny, wrinkly arms around us. She made it about halfway. She was so short she was resting her hands on my butt. It was the only action it had seen in months.
I rested my head on Ma's shoulder.
"I love you, Samantha Marie."
"You're a good girl." Mimsy patted my butt. That wasn't awkward at all.
For a split second, I thought we were going to leave it at this beautiful moment, but I should have known better.
Ma kissed my cheek. "Just make sure to keep your NDAs to yourself. You can win a man's heart through his stomach, not his manhood." That was something that should never be embroidered on a pillow or said again.
"Okay, Ma. Okay." What else could I say after that?
Chapter Fifteen
Dinner wasn't quite as embarrassing, but it did prove interesting. It didn't help that Reed sat next to me again. In some ways, it felt less lonely having Neil's seat taken, but I wasn't sure how I felt about Reed filling it. Though he did talk a lot more than Neil had the past several years. Neil could frequently be found reading an article on his phone. A few times he had the gall to bring a book. Yep. He would pull it out once he was done eating. Reed, on the other hand, stayed engaged in all the table conversation. Including the one Delanie started.
"You really should think about expanding your reach as the Sidelined Wife."
It may have been the first time Delanie said anything out of the blue at the table. I think I was right, judging by the hush that fell over the table. If you could get the Decker clan to be quiet, that was saying something.
I turned from Reed, who had just been asking me for suggestions on where he could buy some window coverings for the little place he rented near the school, to face the gorgeous redhead a couple seats down from me. I swore she was wearing a bigger diamond nose ring than usual to irk Ma. And yeah, it was working, judging by the tsking noises Ma was making to my right.
"I'm not sure what you mean." I gave Delanie my full attention.
She smirked at Ma, like she was taking a stand, before she focused back on me. "For starters, you could rebrand your blog by changing the name to the Sidelined Wife. And you should set up a page under the same moniker on Facebook. I would also do Instagram and Twitter. I could even help with the cover concepts and your profile pictures. I have a friend who's a great photographer. And," she looked at Avery, "maybe you could help execute the cover designs."
Avery's face lit up. "I would love to."
This was the cue for some of those with a Y chromosome to flee the table. My dad invited his grandsons to join him in the backyard to toss the football around. I guess his sons and Reed were on their own. They didn't seem bothered by the topic because they all decided to stay. Ma wasn't thrilled; she waved her hands and said something about sex talk and NDAs while she cleared her plate and some of the serving dishes in front of her. That's when Reed acted the part of gentleman and helped Ma clear the table. Peter followed suit, but James stayed put. He was a good man, but he lacked being domestically helpful unless asked. Unless it had to do with lawn care or handyman stuff. He'd rather replace a garbage disposal than do the dishes. My dear grandmother, Mimsy, reached for some water like she was going to sprinkle some on me just in case, but Peter swiped the glass from her before she could. She walked out rubbing her rosary beads and muttering about the good old days when women knew their place.
With most everyone cleared out, Delanie scooted closer to me, and Avery leaned in, excited.
"I don't know. I'm sure this will all blow over soon," I said.
"I don't think so." Avery's blue eyes danced. "Did you see that Autumn Moone already linked your new post to her site? And she commented on how hilarious you are."
I hadn't seen that yet. "I messaged her through her contact page to thank her, but I haven't heard back from her."
"With a new book coming out, she's probably busy with edits. Or maybe her assistants haven't gone through the messages like they're supposed to." Delanie smiled with unease.
Avery and I both gave Delanie blank stares. Her engaging us in conversation was different all on its own, but the way she sounded so knowledgeable really threw me off.
Delanie swiped at some leftover crumbs on the table. "I mean, I'm guessing. I know how it is to be under a deadline."
"Well, maybe she doesn't think it's really me, or maybe she doesn't want to be bothered by mere mortals."
Avery and Delanie laughed.
James was tuned into his smartphone.
Avery batted at his phone. "Put that thing away and engage with real people."
James shoved his phone in his pocket with a grin. "So, what did I miss? What dresses you're all wearing to prom and what color you're going to paint your nails?"
I rolled my eyes at my big brother while Avery nudged him. "Very funny. Why don't you go help your Ma with the dishes like Peter and Reed, or go play with our sons."
He stood up. "I'm not wanted; I get it." He leaned down and kissed Avery on the head. She smacked his butt in return. James wagged his eyebrows. "Smack me like that again, honey, and I'll be hauling you up to my old room."
Avery didn't even blush anymore when James made comments like that. "Behave."
He gave her a wink and strode off.
Pangs of jealousy pricked my heart. I focused on Delanie, who wore a look like she understood how I was feeling. Her warm brown eyes spoke of an old soul. Much older than her twenty-eight years. Did I mention how gorgeous this girl was, with the perfect waterfall-curled red hair and creamy skin with freckles that looked strategically placed? Not a wrinkle or laugh line in sight.
Delanie rested her soft, feminine hand over mine on the table. "I know you feel like you're in unknown territory now. We've all been there. But your voice is helping women face the uncertainty, no matter what the circumstances are. You have the power to do a lot of good. Let us help you help others. And maybe we'll help ourselves in the process."
I felt like she wanted to tell us something. Was she facing uncertainty? Did she need help? I opened my mouth to speak, but Delanie removed her hand and gave a smart aleck grin.
"Besides, you're funny as hell. And," she lowered her voice, "it's nice to have your mom focus on something else she hates besides me."
I was going to have to help change that. Along with a lot of other things in my life. Maybe it was time to embrace the Sidelined Wife.
~*~
I did all the "mom" things before I went to bed that night. Cody started his sophomore year on Tuesday, and I wanted to get back into a good Sunday night routine. I wanted to purposely do things, not only get by. I whipped up batches of quick oats and placed them in the refrigerator for breakfast throughout the week. I even made sure he had balanced, protein-packed lunch and snack items he could easily grab each morning, so he would be properly fueled for practice. Cody wasn't happy about it, but I made him clean up his room and actually fold and hang up his clothes for smoother mornings. I knew it wouldn't last, but at least I was trying to give him habits he would thank me for later in his life. Maybe.