The Sidelined Wife(11)

That night had been a turning point for me. I had been afraid too.  Afraid what people would think about me if I got divorced. I was afraid  that Cody would hate me. I was afraid of my future, emotionally and  financially. I was afraid to live without Neil. But in that moment, I  had clarity. My fear had been preventing me from really living. I would  be no one's doormat.

I looked up from my phone into my son's eyes. "Do you want to go out to dinner? I want to celebrate."

He cocked his head, just like his father. "What are we celebrating?"

"Life."





Chapter Ten


I was dying to read all the comments on my blog and on Autumn Moone's  page, but dinner with my kid first. I could read those posts anytime,  and believe me, I would be devouring them along with that sneak peek  after I went to bed. But I knew my time with Cody was precious, and I  intended not to waste a moment with him. And hey, the kid was still  willing to be seen in public with me, so I was counting that as a huge  parenting win.

I let Cody choose, which meant we were going to Portillo's. It had been  his favorite since he learned how to say "hot dog." I had to admit, they  made the best burgers on the planet. And I had a few pounds I could  gain, so I was ordering one of those. Fries, too.

The restaurant was always crowded, no matter the day. But I didn't mind  waiting in line to order because they had fabulous old movie posters and  memorabilia throughout the entire place.

It was all going great, my brooding teenager had his earbuds in, but at  least he stood close to me and I felt better than I had in a long time.  That is, until Reed walked in. I still felt like an idiot about our  interaction yesterday. I didn't think he saw me, so I tried to  camouflage myself between Cody and the wall. Which was a dumb plan. He  was going to recognize Cody, regardless, and he did.

Reed walked straight up to Cody on the other side of the red rope that  directed the line. "Cody, my man." Reed did what I could never do: get  Cody's attention right away. Reed put his hand up for a high five. Cody  met it with a loud smack.

"Coach, what are you doing here?"

Reed peeked around Cody and grinned at me like he knew I was avoiding him. "Just grabbing dinner," he answered Cody.

Cody nodded his approval.

"How are you, Sam?" Reed apparently wasn't getting my please move on vibe.                       
       
           



       

"Good. Great, really." I stared forward, avoiding eye contact, making a bigger fool of myself.

"I'm glad to hear that."

I kept hugging the wall as we moved forward in the line.

Cody and Reed talked about the team and their first game the following  weekend against the Spartans. I listened as Reed praised Cody.

"I'm impressed with the way you always find an open window, and your aim  is spot on. I think we'll keep running the down the line drill. It  seems to be helping."

"Yeah, it's helped me focus on my target," Cody agreed. "Do you think I might get some playing time in the game?"

I turned toward Reed, wanting to see his reaction and response to Cody's plea.

Reed looked torn. He pressed his lips together and thought. "You have a  bright future, and someday you'll lead this team. We'll see how the game  goes."

Cody's shoulders dropped, but he tried to act unaffected by the news by  changing the subject. "Maybe we could run some more setup drills  tomorrow. I want to improve my time getting back after the snap."

I was proud of Cody. I knew what a blow he had been handed.

"I'll let Coach Parsons know." Reed gave Cody a manly pat on the back. "You're doing great."

We were almost to the front of the line, so I figured our time with Reed  would be coming to an end. But life was full of surprises for me that  night.

Reed grinned at me. "Do you mind if I join you for dinner?"

I looked behind us at the long line. "You don't want to wait in line?"

Reed faked a stab to his chest. "I'm hurt you would think that. I just wanted to catch up with an old friend."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Friends don't dump dead fish on your bed."

"You put dead fish in my mom's bed?" Cody bent over laughing as if that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Reed's reaction wasn't what I expected. I thought he would join Cody in  his hysterical laugh, but instead I could see the muscles in his face  tighten. And if I wasn't mistaken, I saw traces of regret in his eyes.

"I was hoping you had forgotten about that." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's not a smell you easily forget."

He went from rubbing his neck to running his fingers through his thick, dark hair. "Let me buy you dinner to make up for it."

I was taken aback by his offer. "That's not necessary. Besides it's my  mom you really should apologize to. I think she washed my sheets ten  times before she finally gave up and bought new ones."

Reed was undeterred. He pulled up the red rope and slid under it, taking his place in line by us. "I insist."

I was going to vehemently decline until I noticed the way Cody smiled  and did that weird man-hand-clasp thing with Reed. Cody seemed at ease  with him and happier when he was around. For the love of my son, I  allowed Reed to stay, but under one condition.

"You're more than welcome to eat with us, but it's my treat." Maybe that  would assuage some of the guilt I felt for basically emasculating him  yesterday. But it only seemed to make him feel worse.

Reed let out this heavy sigh of what sounded a lot like disappointment.  His blue eyes hit me. "I am more than capable of buying you dinner."

I had never noticed before, but he had pretty eyes. Why did I think  that? I had more pressing matters. Did he take my offer as a slight? I  wasn't sure how to respond, so I blathered like an idiot, which was  apparently my new status quo around him. "I'm sure you are. I just  thought, you know, since I said some stupid things to you yesterday, I  could make up for it by buying you dinner."

Cody cringed upon hearing I said something stupid to his coach  yesterday. Each crinkle in his brow said please tell me it wasn't about  me.

Before Reed could respond, we were called up to order. He took matters  into his own hands. He informed the kid taking orders we were all on one  ticket and he was paying. His debit card was out, ready to go. Reed  turned toward me. "Ladies first."

I hesitated. The whole scenario was weird to me.

"Don't be shy." Reed gave me a sly grin. It wasn't the same mischievous  grin from his younger years. There was something different about it that  I couldn't quite place. It was disconcerting. I ignored how off it made  me feel and ordered.

While Cody ordered half the menu, I took the opportunity to give Reed an out.

"Are you sure I can't pay? Cody is serious about his food."

Reed didn't bat an eye at the growing total. "It's my pleasure."                       
       
           



       

"Thank you for the grown-up gesture," I teased, hoping he would take it  the way I meant it. I thought maybe if we could laugh about my awkward  behavior from the day before we could move on from it.

He didn't exactly laugh, but he smiled at me before he ordered.

Reed did laugh, though, when Cody grimaced at me. "Did you just call Coach a grown-up?"

"That's what she called me yesterday." Reed rubbed salt in my wound with a smile.

Cody shook his head at me. "Mom."

"I'm going to go get my drink and find a place to sit." The cashier set  some cups on the counter, and I grabbed one to the tune of the two guys  laughing at me. I might have been annoyed, but Cody's laughter filled me  with hope. Hope would get us through the ugly gift life had handed us.

While I was dropping lemon wedges in my ice water near the beverage  dispensers, Reed slid up next to me. "Cody's going to wait for the food  and bring it to our table."

I nodded.

"Sam, please don't be mad at me."

His plea surprised me. "I'm not. I'm embarrassed."

"Hey." He rested his hand on my shoulder. My bare shoulder, I might add. His hand was warm and definitely grown-up.

I found myself looking into his eyes. Again, there was something different in them. I couldn't put my finger on it.

His hand stayed steady on my shoulder. "The last thing I want to do is embarrass you."

"You didn't do anything. It's all me. I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard  time wrapping my head around you being, well, you know, older."

"I guess older is better than grown-up." His hand dropped. He started filling his and Cody's cup with ice.

My cheeks flushed. "I've done it again, haven't I?"

His mouth twitched. "Maybe we should start over." He set the ice-filled  cups on the counter near my water. He held his hand out to me. "Hi, I'm  Reed Cassidy. I think your son is on my football team."