She popped the last of the croissant into her mouth. Unable to resist any longer, she stroked a hand down his smooth cheek and rubbed her thumb over the thick bristles on his chin. His deep blue eyes, which hadn’t left her face, dilated, and his chest rose.
‘Not long after we arrived in England, my mam started a new relationship with a man who was just like my dad. An unfaithful charmer. Everyone loves him but he is incapable of keeping his pecker in his trousers. And just like with my dad, she forgives him every time. I’ve spent my entire life feeling second best to my parents’ libidos and hormones, and I’m terrified of turning out like them. Our child will never feel second best. Ever. I won’t let it happen. Our child is innocent and deserves all the love I—and hopefully you—can heap on him or her.’ She bit her lip. ‘But, Pepe, I’m so scared.’
‘Scared of what?’
‘You,’ she answered starkly. ‘Until I met you, sex to me was tawdry and meant nothing but power and humiliation. I wanted none of it. But now I can understand why my mam let my dad treat her like a piece of rubbish and why she lets my stepdad treat her the same way, because I can feel it happening inside me when I’m with you. I woke up this morning and I knew I should leave but I was almost helpless to resist you. I’m scared that if I stay much longer I’ll never want to go.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
PEPE COVERED CARA’S HAND, his eyes boring into her. ‘Do you think you’re falling in love with me?’
‘No!’ Her denial was immediate. Snatching her hand away, she wrung her fingers together on her lap and looked away.
‘Good.’
She flinched.
He placed a finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. ‘I say “good” because there is a way to get through this without screwing either of us up. And without screwing up our child. I have never cheated on anyone in my life. After what Luisa did to me, it is not something I would ever put anyone else through. I like my affairs short and sweet. I admit, there are occasions when I will sleep with an ex, but never if either of us are involved with someone else.’
Pepe watched as she bit into her bottom lip. Learning the full truth of Cara’s past explained so many things about her. His complaints about his own childhood seemed unbelievably petty in comparison. He’d never doubted his family’s love for him.
‘I have a proposal for you,’ he said, thinking aloud. ‘Will you hear me out?’
With obvious apprehension, she jerked her head.
‘Let’s see if we can make this work. We don’t love each other but we do have a serious case of lust. Eventually it will work its way out of our systems.’
‘Do you think?’ She looked so hopeful he felt an incomprehensible stab of pain in his chest.
He nodded. ‘For as long as we’re together I can promise you exclusivity. Your mother lived in a vicious cycle of high emotion and denial, neither of which applies to us. We’ll take it all one day at a time. When our desire for each other reaches its natural conclusion, we can go our separate ways—and hopefully we can go our separate ways as friends. We both want what’s best for our child and that’s for him or her to have parents who respect each other and can work together for their child’s happiness. Our child will have two parents who are happy in themselves and have no antagonism towards the other.’