“Politics are not a modern invention, are they?” she remarked, moving deeper into the concubine’s lair. “She had air-conditioning,” she said with surprise, studying the window of latticed marble that stood behind a waterfall that ran in his front courtyard. Glittering light bounced off the gold plate behind him to brighten this space more than the other rooms.
“One resident of this room was so prized, the most trusted eunuch slept beside her so she wouldn’t be murdered by the other women.” He stalked closer to her, fully sympathetic to his ancestor’s beguilement.
Something wistful passed over her face. Her lashes fluttered as she realized how close he was. She tried to make her retreat look casual, but that’s what her quarter turn and step away was.
He’d been chasing her around the harem long enough.
“Fern,” he said quietly, keeping her from walking out of the room altogether. “We should talk about what the doctor said. About making love.”
She stopped, but didn’t turn. Her hands moved to clench together and her upper arms stained with an extensive blush. “Do you want to?”
A sudden pang of juvenile fear hit him. He didn’t want to admit to his feelings before she did. He might be staring down his first marriage all over again. But if trust was an issue, the only way to gain hers was by being completely honest.
“Do I want to talk? Or make love? I’m prepared to wait until after the baby, if you’re not up to it, but yes. I would like to make love to you.”
“Even though I’m fat?”
“You’re not fat. You’re beautiful,” he said with sincerity that bordered on reverence, moving closer. “Is that why you’re hesitating? You’re feeling self-conscious?”
“Yes,” she said in a small, overwrought voice. “And because feeling this way seems so brazen in my condition.”
A laugh of relief started to rise in him, but was knocked back into his throat by her next words.
“And so sinful if it’s just lust.”
CHAPTER NINE
“NOT THAT I expect you to love me,” Fern hurried to add, afraid to turn and see how he was taking what she’d accidentally blurted.
But it was hard to say those words when it might be true that she didn’t expect his love, but she yearned for it. As she’d turned his grandmother’s ring on her finger in the car on the way here, taking in the way her own life had revolved into something completely unexpected, she’d realized there was only one reason she would allow it to: love.
She loved him so much. It wasn’t a surprise. She’d known she did, but somehow she’d convinced herself it wouldn’t sustain. Like such an intense feeling could wear off. It hadn’t. She was carrying his baby and had held him right in the space between her heart and their child’s the entire time she’d been apart from him. Her love had grown with each passing day, just as their baby did.
“Fern.”
She could hardly bear the careful way he said it, like he was treading into very delicate territory.
“It’s okay,” she insisted, telling herself it was. “We barely know each other. When have we had time to really talk?” They’d been too busy trying to bite back their cries of pleasure. She covered where her cheeks ached, they went so ruddy and hot. “And we’re married now, so it’s not really a sin to feel this animal attraction, but is it enough? Was it enough for you and your wife?”