“It’s magical.” She whispered. She felt a wave of heat leave a shimmer of sweat on her brow. The words seemed to have been wrung out of her. She felt weak. But she couldn’t be weak. Not now, not in front of Zahir.
“Good. Then she should have no qualms about living there.”
Anna clasped her hands together, her fingers rubbing together as she tried to gather her strength and make sure the robe was pulled out from her stomach.
“I hope that is enough for you?”
“No. She would want to know about the land.”
Anna looked down as her mind captured memories of searing heat that shimmered white, playing with mirages of water, horizons of a setting sun shedding its rich light over the expansive landscape; of dry wadis carved by water and time wending their way up into the mountains.
She nodded and swallowed, meeting his gaze. She wouldn’t dissemble. The straighter she was, the sooner this horrible interview would be over. “It, too, is magical.”
“And the climate?”
Anna felt herself sag. This inquisition seemed to be lasting an age. But she couldn’t back out.
“Extreme.”
She noticed his face drop slightly at the ambiguous word, as if she suggested criticism.
“You did not enjoy the climate?”
“How could one not enjoy the rain that fell after so much sun; then the light of the sun followed by the brilliance of the stars—” she stopped short.
“Then the people, my family?”
“They are kind. Your new wife will have no problems with them. She will enjoy their company.”
“This is sounding most satisfactory. I am sure she will find your words most comforting. Is there anything else I’ve forgotten? What about me? What would you say about living with me? Do you have any words of advice for her there?”
She looked up into his eyes then, not believing he could drag her through the pain of each element of life living with him, through the eyes of another person.
“I’d tell her—” but she couldn’t go on, she heard, and felt, her voice crack.
“Go on.”
“You wouldn’t want me to speak with her about you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d tell her the truth about you.”
“I am not afraid of the truth,” his eyes glittered.
“Yes. She probably realizes already what an arrogant, insensitive bastard you are, who would stop at nothing to get what he wants. Who would even drag his ex-wife—”
“Not yet ‘ex’—”
“His ex-wife along to help sweet-talk her into doing what he wants.”
“And what would that sweet-talk say? Tell me, Anna, was I so bad to live with?” He was leaning forward, watching her, his eyes no longer cold, but hot, searing, wanting.
She looked into his eyes, startled. “Bad?” She shook her head, feeling the pricking of tears at the back of her lids. “No. You were—everything. Not good, not bad, just, you.”
“Just me. Well, we must hope that is enough for her.”
She sagged back into her chair feeling drained but there was one more thing she had to get sorted. “I can’t have Matta living in Qawaran being cared for by another woman. I don’t know her for God’s sake. I can’t have it, Zahir, please don’t do this again.”
“We made a bargain once. And we kept both sides of the bargain. Can I ask, Anna, was your side of the bargain worth it? Your freedom?”
She closed her eyes. “Stop it Zahir. What is it that you want from me?”
“I want the truth. You have no-one to protect now, no reason to not tell me the truth. Do you have what it was that you wanted, what you believed freedom would bring you? Do you?”
How could he even think that she’d enjoyed life away from him these past months? Yes, her studies and Matta and living in Paris had brought joy. But it paled by the side of the longing that she’d had to live with. She done what she had to do, but it was like sleep-walking, going through the motions, waiting until you could go back to bed and dream of the man in whose arms you longed to be.
“Yes.”
He jumped up and walked to the window.
“And no,” she added.
He turned to her then. “Stop playing with me woman and tell me straight.”
“Haven’t you learned anything by now? Nothing is straight. Nothing is black and white.”
“Some things are, Anna. Some things are.”
“So you tell me. Was your side of the bargain worth it? Did you rid yourself of your obsession with me? Are your nights and days peaceful now?”
His jaw ground with a tension that sparked black in his eyes. “You never leave me.”
Her lips parted, a thrill went through her body and she swallowed hard.