The Sheikh’s Bargain Bride(35)
“You’re wrong.”
She looked up expectantly, daring not to hope. “No, I don’t suppose you do hate yourself.”
“How can you think so little of yourself to imagine I would not be proud to want you for yourself—all of you, your past and present.” He gripped her shoulders. “Do you hear me Anna? All of you. It is you who hate yourself.”
“Then why the distance?”
He let go and shrugged lightly. “That is my character and you will have to accustom yourself to that. I am who I am, as you are who you are. I accept you, now you must accept me.”
“I don’t have much chance when I see you only for stolen moments during the day and at night when we have other things on our mind.”
“Then that will change, will it not, when I come to Paris with you.”
“No. I’m going alone with Matta and Muma Yemena. Just us.”
“And why would you want that?”
“Just for some quiet, normal time with my son.”
“Our son.” He opened the door behind him. “And I am coming.”
“To control me, to control Matta? That’s it isn’t it?”
She waited for an answer that didn’t come.
“Just accept it, Anna. I am coming.”
He closed the door leaving her alone and in emotional turmoil once again. She was obviously correct. His need to control surpassed everything.
Zahir walked with his usual sense of purpose through the reception rooms back towards his office, knowing there was nothing about him that reflected the turmoil he kept locked inside. And that was how he liked it.
She was wrong. He kept his distance from her because he had no choice. He couldn’t risk coming closer to her, easing the sadness that he still felt lay deep inside of her. Because the one thing that would ease her pain was the one thing he could never admit. He rubbed his hand on his scar, feeling the heart beat underneath. Scar tissue strengthened the skin, effectively sealing whatever was underneath by an ugly but well nigh impenetrable barrier. He had no idea what lay beneath the scar and he had no intention of ever finding out.
And she was also wrong about his wish to accompany her to Paris. It wasn’t his need to control that made him want to go with her. It was fear. Fear that she would leave him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Zahir couldn’t take his eyes off Anna.
She sat opposite him, looking out the window at the grey clouds as they descended into Charles de Gaulle Airport. Her eyes were bright, lit from inside, in a way that made him sad. He hadn’t seen her like that in Qawaran, despite the fact that she had seemed to blossom there. His eyes flicked to her fuller breasts, where the nap of her silk shirt gleamed where it pulled slightly when she moved. He felt himself stir, wanting her just as he always wanted her. He thought once they were lovers then his need for her would lessen. But, he thought, grimly, it was intensifying if anything and getting more out of control. He hated being out of control. He scowled and followed her gaze.
“You don’t like Paris?” Anna obviously mistaking the cause of his scowl.
“It’s a city, like any other.”
She smiled and gazed back at the city that was coming into view beneath them.
“Well, if you don’t like it, then why come? Think I’ll run off with your son?”
“What would be the point? There is nowhere you can hide from me. I would find you as I found you before. And you know that.”
He watched her swallow and a moment of panic flit across her face. He sat back and sighed. He was annoyed with himself. It was a low blow. He was angry with her because he wanted her so much and his need was growing in ways he couldn’t control. Ways that he didn’t wish to consider. But he still didn’t need to have taunted her with her lack of freedom.
She soon recovered though and met his gaze with an equally irritated one.
“Then why are you here? You always seem to have too much to do in Qawaran. I’m surprised you could get away. Don’t tell me that it’s my allure that’s pulled you away from all things important.”
“I have business in Paris.” He saw her face drop slightly and felt its echo more loudly within himself.
“I see.”
The tilt of her chin as she looked out at the patchwork of fields below touched him.
He leant forward, cupped her chin with his fingers and drew her face round to his, searching the large expressive, blue-grey eyes that failed to hide her feelings.
“But nothing I couldn’t have accomplished from Qawaran. I wanted to be with you.”
He felt the rush of blood surge as her eyes, full of hope, traced his lips. “I’m glad you came.”
Her eyes were darkened with anticipated passion.