“Okay.”
“Do you want me to finish first?”
Did I want to see his cock before I showed him my boobs and... other stuff? Um. Yeah, no. That wasn't going to work. No way would I be able to take my clothes off after seeing... that. Nope.
“Ava?”
I swallowed hard, licking my lips nervously. “Me,” I whispered.
He nodded, moving away from me and did the absolute worst thing he could do. He sat down on the couch, staring up at me expectantly. Holy hell. I wasn't going to get any kind of privacy. I just had to get bare assed right there while he watched like I was some kind of stripper. Great. That was just great.
“Ava,” his voice said, firm, a warning. Because he knew my mind was swirling. “Why don't you start with the stockings, okay?” he suggested.
Alright. I could do that. That wasn't that bad. I leaned forward, grabbing the clasp at the tiny slip of material holding my stockings to my garter belt. Then I slid the silken material down my legs. I paused as I stepped out of the second leg. But there was no going back. I had to do it. I had to. No matter how much I felt like I was going to vomit. Thank god I had the foresight to not eat anything all day. My hands went shakily toward my garter belt, sliding it off.
Just bra and panties left. I shook my hair so it fell forward, offering me a small amount of privacy as I bent slightly forward, half blocking myself from view as I reached behind my back for my clasp and my bra fell. I reached for the panties, snaking my fingers into the band and pressing down, my heart beating so hard in my ears and throat that it was all I could hear. As soon as I stepped out of the feet, I lost it.
I mean... I lost it.
“I can't, I can't,” I said, going to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, burying my face against my knees. “I can't. I'm sorry. I just...”
I felt like I was falling apart. My skin felt too hot. And I couldn't draw in a proper breath, leaving me lightheaded. I rocked back and forth, cradling myself, trying to give myself some sort of comfort.
“Okay, it's okay,” Chase said, close, and I realized he had gotten on the ground behind me. His hands reached for me gently, grabbing my shoulder and knee and pulling me into the space between his legs until the side of my face was against his chest. One of his hands went to the side of my neck, the other to my hip. I felt his lips press down on the top of my head. “It's alright, Ava. Take a breath, okay?” I drew shaky air into my painful lungs, exhaling it quickly because it felt like it burned. “Good. Again,” he said, his hand starting to stroke my hair gently. “Give me a number.”
A little better.
A minute ago it was a ten, going on eleven. But it was a little better. “Eight.”
“Okay. Keep breathing,” he had to remind me. “What do you need from me right now?”
No one, literally no one, had ever thought to ask me that before. Which was amazing. Amazing that no one in my life who watched me suffer thought to ask that, to ask the one right thing they could ask.
“I need you to rub my back,” I decided, thinking of how he had put me to sleep doing that.
He shifted slightly, giving him a little more access, then his fingers traced lightly up and down my spine. “Like this?”
“Yes,” I murmured, turning my face in toward his chest, breathing in his scent. The hint of cologne, but mostly, just... him.
I had no idea how long we sat like that, my anxiety inching backward slowly, freeing up my lungs, slowing my heartbeat. It could have been hours for all I knew. But it worked. It was working. I was still naked, but I wasn't freaking out about it anymore.
“Okay,” he said, stopping his stroking. One of his hands slid underneath my knees, the other across my back. “I am going to take you to the bed. No, don't tense up,” he said, lifting my weight and getting to his feet. “I told you, there isn't going to be any sexual contact today. Okay? Do you trust me?”
For the first time in my life, yes.
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he said, starting to walk. “I am going to let you get under the covers so we can do this slowly. So we don't cause another panic attack. That was my fault.”
“It wasn't...”
“Yes, it was,” he said, bringing up a leg to balance my body on as he reached for the comforter and sheets and pulled them back. “I shouldn't have sat back like you were about to put on a show for me. That wasn't a good move. I should have known better.”
He lowered my onto the mattress, still holding me, grabbing the blanket and pulling it up my body. As soon as the material was up by my shoulders, he let me go and I scooted to the center of the bed so he had room to climb in.
“I'm going to take my boxers off,” he told me, reaching for the band.
“Okay.”
“Do you want to watch?”
I felt that tightening again, pressing my thighs together against it. Because I did. I wanted to watch. I felt myself nod tightly.
“That's so hot babe,” he said, putting his hands in the waistband and pulling the material down.
And
Oh,
my.
I should have known. I mean the rest of him was tall and wide and strong. I should have guessed.
Because there was his cock straining out. Big. Thick. Promising to fill me more than anyone else ever had. And... I wanted to know what that felt like.
I felt a hot blush rise up on my cheeks at that thought.
“What are you thinking?” Chase asked, scooting on the bed, slipping under the blanket with me, turning on the side to watch me.
I turned too, bringing my knees up almost as a barrier. I shook my head. No way I could say it. No fucking way.
“Ava, tell me baby. You can trust me, remember?” he asked, his hand going to the side of my face. “Please.”
I took a breath. He was right. I needed to work on the communication thing. “I was thinking about you...” oh, god. This was excruciating. “... inside me,” I finally admitted.
His eyes closed for a second, a muscle ticking in his jaw. When they opened again, heavy, he shook his head. “God, babe, that makes me happy. You have no idea how badly I want to be inside you.”
“I have some idea,” I mumbled, thinking of his hard cock only a few inches away from me.
Chase made a weird choked sound, then broke out laughing, a deep rolling sound that was causing all kinds of problems between my thighs. “You're pretty amazing, do you know that?” he asked, shaking his head, still smiling.
And I was right. On my introductory session, when I thought I couldn't handle him smiling. I couldn't fucking take it. It was too perfect.
“Okay,” I said, looking away, “what now?” I asked.
“Touch me.”
My eyes shot up, finding a lifted brow. “You want to, don't you?” he asked, knowing I did. “Here,” he said, rolling onto his back, the blanket slipping down to his waist, “I'll give you more access.”
“Are you like... being playful?” I asked, my brows drawing together.
“I'm not always serious, you know,” he said, turning his head on the pillow to look at me.
“Good to know,” I said, pushing myself up slightly, bringing my hand out from under the blanket, hovering over his skin for a long minute, then slowly lowering down between his pecs. His breath hissed out of his mouth, his eyes watching my face intently. Emboldened, I ran my greedy fingers down his abs, up his sides, over his arm muscles.
“So my nudity is okay,” Chase observed, making my hand still guiltily.
“I guess,” I shrugged.
“Okay,” he said, reaching down and kicking his side of the blanket off his body. His hard, heavy cock was up toward his stomach, hovering slightly over his body. “Is this alright?”
It was fucking perfect is what it was.
“Yeah,” I said, wanting I realized with genuine shock, to touch his cock.
“Can I see more or you now?” he asked, turning the top of his body toward me, pushing up on his elbow.
Could he? Seeing as I suddenly had extremely sexual thoughts of him, there really was no reason not to let him. If I did, in fact, want him inside me... he was damn sure going to insist on looking at me first.
“Okay.”
He smiled slightly, his arm reaching out to grab the blanket, but not at the top like I had expected. Instead he was pushing the material away from my legs. His hand went to my skin as soon as it was free, stroking up and down. “These are great legs,” he said, looking at them.
Well, that was one thing we could agree on.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice almost strong.
His eyes went to my face, nodding. “You're getting better at that.”
“Well, you won't stop feeding compliments to me,” I shrugged, trying to play it off a little.
“Hey,” he said, his tone serious. “I don't want you thinking I am just saying shit to say it. When I tell you how beautiful you are, I mean it. I want you to know that. And I want you to start believing it too.”
“I... believe you.”
“Do you believe it?”
“I'm getting there.”
He smiled slightly, bringing a hand up to my face. “Progress,” he said.
“Yeah,” I agreed.
Then his hand moved the material of the blanket again, and I felt the air hit a very sensitive part of me. Instinctively, I closed my thighs tight, knowing he wouldn't really be able to see anything that way. His eyes left mine, looking at the skin he had exposed. His hand pushed the blanket up further, exposing my belly. “Your choice? Or what you thought I wanted?” he asked, his hand coming down on my skin, barely touching the bare triangle above my sex.