"Stop this!" Selene shouted, but no one could hear her. The philosophers were waving their arms, wailing in protest. Guards and slaves were gathering from all over the Museum, Library and palace to find out what the noise portended. Some caught the organist's enthusiasm, and impromptu dances broke out over the courtyard.
Selene pointed at the man shoveling wood under the boiler. "Marcus, you have your sword, don't you? Go kill that man. Maybe that will make it stop."
Instead, Scipio went and spoke to the slave, who nodded and began to shovel hot coals out of the furnace. Gradually, the hooting of the pipes grew less intense, then faded quickly. When she could be heard, Selene shouted to the crowd.
"This is not a festival day! All of you return to your duties!" Disappointed, the soldiers and servants filtered back into the buildings, leaving the philosophers, the Romans and, she now saw, those itinerant Greeks, Zeno and Izates.
Half-dazed, the inventor turned around to see who was spoiling his fun. He seemed amazed to find that he had attracted a crowd that included Queen Selene. "Er, Majesty," he said. "What brings you here?"
She stared at him, astonished. "What brings me here? The most hellish racket ever heard in Alexandria, that's what! What's your name?"
The man gathered his wits together and bowed. "Euphenes of Caria, Majesty. And today I stand before you as the discoverer of the most important principle ever known to mankind!" He drew himself up, eyes blazing with a demented light.
"And what have you discovered?" Selene demanded. "A new way to make people go deaf?"
"Steam!" he shouted. "I have learned to harness steam!"
"Majesty," Flaccus said, leaning close to her, "we have so many philosophers here. I think we can hang this one without suffering any great loss. It might encourage the rest to keep the noise level down."
"No, let's hear what he has to say first," Scipio cautioned.
"Steam," Euphenes began, "is simply water in another form. Raise its temperature high enough and water, which is matter in a liquid state, is transformed into a gaseous state."
"Every housewife knows that water will boil away," Selene said impatiently.
"Yes, but since this occurs in open vessels, those housewives, and everyone else prior to my own researches, did not realize that a given volume of water, once heated sufficiently, is transformed to a much larger volume of steam!" Blank looks greeted this ringing pronouncement. He waved his hands, seeking the right words to get his concept across to these clearly nonphilosophical people. "It is like harnessing the wind! Wind is powerful, is it not? Wind drives ships. In great tempests, it uproots trees, tears the roofs from temples, drives the sea up onto dry land. What I have done is to confine the power of Boreas and Zephyrus within closed vessels, from which I may direct it in any direction I desire by means of pipes and valves."
"What can you do with it?" Marcus asked.
"Do with it? I shall develop innumerable uses for this power, of course. I have only just now proved the truth of my theory."
"You had better come up with something better than a loud noise," Selene said ominously.
"Majesty," said Zeno. "Might I speak?"
She looked at him. "Zeno, isn't it? Of course you may. You struck me as a man of good sense, and I could use some just now."
"Majesty, this, great instrument makes an intolerable noise here in this small courtyard that is almost adjacent to your palace. But it strikes me that, in the immense space of the Hippodrome, its volume will match the scale of the greatest building in the world. Huge as it is, when it employs conventional water power it can barely be heard by distant spectators. I think if you let it be played there with the new steam power, it could prove a great hit with the crowds."
"What?" said Euphenes indignantly. "I did not do this to produce some trivial toy to please the mob! I simply found it an elegant way to prove my theory of the ratio between the volumes of water and steam—ow!"
The organist had joined them and now she trod on the philosopher's toes to shut him up. She bowed almost double. "Majesty, I am Chrysis, chief organist of the Hippodrome. If you will permit me to play my organ at the next games with the new steam power, I can promise that it will be a sensation! The crowds will adore you as never before. Nothing like it has ever been heard before."
"That is certainly true," Selene allowed.
"And you could use a bit of popularity just now," Flaccus said, practical as always. "The enthusiasm over turning back Hamilcar's invasion has worn off. The Alexandrian mob is famously fickle, and now they grumble about high prices for corn and the new taxes to pay for renewed hostilities. This might be just the thing to put them back in a good mood."